15/01/2026
All I want now is peaceânot the loud kind, not the kind people talk about when they say âyouâll be okay.â
I mean the quiet kind.
The kind that comes after loss has already taken what it wanted.
The kind that lets me sit still without feeling like I have to explain myself.
Grief has changed what I ask for.
I donât crave excitement anymore.
I crave steady days.
Soft mornings.
Energy that doesnât feel borrowed.
Conversations that donât exhaust my heart.
I miss you in ways that are hard to describe.
Not always with tears.
Sometimes just with a heaviness that settles beside me and stays.
Like you should be here,
like the space next to me still belongs to you.
Some days, missing you feels loud.
Other days, itâs quiet and constant,
woven into the background of everything I do.
Even peace carries your absence now.
Iâve learned that grief isnât only sadness.
Itâs learning how to live without reaching for your voice.
Itâs carrying love that has nowhere to land.
Itâs choosing calm because chaos hurts too much.
I donât need grand things anymore.
I need honesty.
Gentle people.
Moments where my nervous system can finally rest.
Moments where I can breathe without bracing for the next wave.
If peace comes slowly, Iâll wait.
If it comes in pieces, Iâll take them.
Because loving you changed me,
and losing you taught me what truly matters.
I will always carry you quietly,
in the way I seek calm,
in the way I protect my heart,
in the way I choose softness now.
Peace doesnât mean forgetting.
It means learning how to live
while still holding love for someone
who should have been here.