14/10/2025
Have you heard of the term entropy?
While I was on retreat this past week, I heard it,
and it gave me language for a feeling I had long shamed.
Entropy isn’t a mistake.
It’s nature’s way of evolving.
It’s the raw material needed for creation.
But in the world we live in, we rarely give ourselves space for it.
We push, strive, produce.
We call ourselves lazy when our bodies ask for stillness.
We compare, we hustle,
we don’t let ourselves truly rest without guilt.
This year, I’ve found myself in an entropic phase,
needing more rest,
feeling less drive to socialise.
My energy has been turned inward, life slower, quieter.
I felt an emptiness,
a kind of inner collapse and lack of inspiration.
I felt stuck in my own creations.
But I understand now this is not a bad thing.
It’s part of a natural cycle.
It’s taken me until now to stop shaming myself for being here,
for not “doing” enough,
for believing I was wasting time.
But entropy is not decay, it’s gestation.
The fertile void before creation begins again.
If you know the Gene Keys, Richard Rudd writes:
“When you feel stuck, lost, or meaningless, you are not dying, you are in the entropic phase of your evolution. Stay with it.”
Learning this allowed me to take a deep exhale.
To soften the edges of the pressure I’d placed on myself.
To give myself permission to be here, for as long as I need.
This is what my upcoming New Year Retreat is all about,
not striving to become someone new,
but allowing yourself to unfurl at your own pace.
To rest.
To be still enough to listen.
Life needs its gaps.
Let yourself be in the fertile void,
and when the clock strikes midnight,
may you not rush to become someone new,
but soften into who you already are. 🌙
Love you ~
