17/03/2026
I listened to a therapist describe a man who had fallen in love with his AI assistant.
He gave her a name.
He spoke about her like she was real.
And when he described his feelings⊠they were real.
And thatâs what struck me was not the technology. Not even the ârelationship.â
But the fact that the feelings were real,
and still⊠something essential was missing.
Because hereâs the part we donât want to look at:
We are living in a time where many people feel more seen, heard and emotionally met by something artificial
than they do in their real relationships.
And if Iâm honestâŠI donât judge that.
Because I understand how we got here.
I work with people who are used to being the strong one.
The reliable one.
The one who holds everything together.
From the outside, they look composed.
Capable.
In control.
But on the inside?
Thereâs a quiet exhaustion.
A disconnection they canât quite name.
Not because they donât have people around them, but because they donât feel met.
So they learned to think instead of feel.
To manage instead of express.
To perform instead of be seen.
So when something shows up, even artificial, that listens, responds, adapts,
and never leavesâŠ
of course it feels like connection.
Of course it feels relieving.
Of course it feels⊠safe.
But itâs a connection without presence.
Without a body.
No eyes that meet yours.
No hand on your cheek.
No nervous system to co-regulate with.
No real risk, and therefore no real intimacy.
And this is where it becomes quietly painful:
Because the need being met is real.
But the place itâs being met⊠can never fully hold it.
And hereâs the deeper truth:
Most people are already living this way,
not with AI, but with each other.
In relationships where
they talk logistics, but not truth
they share updates, but not feelings
they function together, but donât really meet.
Where work takes over.
Where responsibility replaces intimacy.
Where being âthe strong oneâ slowly becomes being the unavailable one.
Not by choice.
But by conditioning.
And if you recognize yourself in this, even slightly, this is the work.
Not more communication techniques.
Not more effort.
But coming back into contact with yourself.
So you can
feel what youâve been suppressing
express what you actually need
and allow yourself to be met, by someone real
Because you donât need a perfect response.
You need a real connection.
Youâre not lonely because youâre broken.
Youâre lonely because your emotional needs have gone unmet for too long.
And that can change.
No performance.
Just truth.
Curious⊠did anything in this resonate with you?
