23/09/2019
I remember back to when I figuratively stayed small, stayed insignificant stayed in the place which I thought I was meant to reside
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I was the good girl, as life was easy and smooth sailing for this type of person
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To some extent it worked, I always had a good job, money to buy all the needs in life, with a good amount of wants thrown in. But every now and again I would rise up and howl at the moon, I would let loose with an out of character action, it bubbled up and struck at random times, which didn’t fit the good girl, I was still smart enough to know to keep these actions somewhat close to my chest. But In those moments I was free, I was letting my wild side escape to be expressed, but always after I felt shame and guilt. The internal dialogue said, “this isn’t who you are it’s so out of character why, and where did this come from” I would allow the thoughts for a short time then I would bury them and move on
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For so many years I accepted this alter ego would show her face and feel like she wasn’t me. Until now, I have discovered and I have worked at this, I know that she is me, I am not two different people, that my wild free crazy, impulsive me will not be caged. -
From this integration of seemingly two different personalities, I see me as complete and whole. It also gives way to less destructive actions, that came up when the wild side was pushed down, hidden and kept shrouded in guilt
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Rise up and stand tall, but don’t forget to include, embrace and resurrect your wild side. The cost of denying this could make you feel, powerless, voiceless, unaroused, without meaning, stuck, self doubting, fearful, comfortably numb, a passenger in your own life.
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No more separation, no more staying small, you all have a wild woman to honour and call on, to sit next to you on your throne