29/03/2022
When we are children, our parents are our whole world and they create our entire reality.
While they teach us things verbally
"say thank you", "you have to share", "say the magic world "please-sorry"...__
they teach us MANY things nonverbally.
Most of these things parents aren't even conscious that they are teaching.
As kids we are sponges and absorb everything we see and those experiences become memories that live in our subconscious mind and condition our...
1)CORE BELIEFS ABOUT WHO WE ARE:
When our parents talk about us we absorb everything and we take it as 100% truth. It's like they are writting the script of who we are and who will become in our adult life. (though most of what they say about us reflects our parents' emotional state and not the truth of who we are)
2)HOW TO REGULATE EMOTIONS:
When we watch our parents dealing with the "difficult feelings" it teaches us how to navigate similar feelings.
3)HOW TO HAVE BOUNDARIES:
We learn boundaries through the boundaries our parents model (or don't model). On the first case we learn to respect the limits of other and firmly place ours. On the second, we become codependent and we develop people pleasing behaviors as we feel guilty to do it.
4)HOW TO TREAT OURSELVES
Parents who are connected to their needs, treat their body/mind well, model the same behavior to us. Parents who neglect their needs, always sacrifice themselves for the rest, they unconsciously teach us our needs do not matter.
5)OUR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
We learn how relationship work by the first relationship we witness, our parent figures. We learn how to love, how to fight, how to communicate, to reconcile, to be vulnerable. And all those become the foundation of how we function in adult relationshps.