CM Counselling & Psychotherapy

08/03/2026

💛One of the quietest pressures on our mental health is the belief that our lives should look like everyone else’s.💛

We compare our families.
We compare our friendships.
We compare the way our lives are “supposed” to look.

Psychology calls this social comparison, our natural tendency to measure ourselves against others to understand where we fit in. While this can sometimes motivate us, it can also quietly damage our wellbeing when we start believing there is only one “right” version of life.

We may look at someone else’s family and feel like ours isn’t good enough.
We may hear opinions about how relationships should work and begin questioning our own.

Over time, this can lead to self-doubt, guilt and the feeling that we’re somehow getting life wrong.

But life doesn’t come in one template.

Some people are born into supportive families. Others build their own support systems through friendships that grow into something just as meaningful and sometimes even more so.

Friends can become the family we choose. The people who listen without judgment, stand beside us in difficult moments and remind us we belong.

Research consistently shows that our mental health is strongly shaped by the quality of our relationships, not the label attached to them.

What matters most is having people who make us feel safe, valued and supported.

So instead of comparing our lives to someone else’s version of “normal,” maybe we should focus on nurturing the connections that protect our wellbeing.

Because sometimes the family we choose becomes exactly the one we needed all along.🥰

15/02/2026

❣️Belonging Without Fitting In❣️

Nearly two years ago, I made the decision to move to a new country and begin a new chapter in Tenerife with my husband.

It has been a journey of beautiful highs and painful lows. Along the way, I’ve experienced personal losses that required deep healing. Healing, I’ve learned, does not follow a timeline. It asks for patience. Compassion. Space to grieve. Space to grow.

Starting again in a new place is more than changing your surroundings, it’s rebuilding parts of yourself. It’s questioning where you belong. It’s wondering if you’ll ever truly feel settled.

There were moments I compared myself to others and people who seemed to integrate quickly, build friendships easily, or feel instantly at home. But comparison is a heavy burden to carry. It pulls us away from our own path. I’ve had to gently remind myself that everyone’s journey unfolds differently. There is no prize for arriving first. There is only honouring your own pace.

As someone who isn’t a typical extrovert and doesn’t thrive in cliques, I’ve had to find my own way. I value depth over volume. Genuine, non-judgemental, kind-hearted people over crowded spaces. And I’ve been incredibly fortunate to meet some truly kind-hearted souls here. The ones who show up quietly, discreetly and consistently. They know who they are.💞

Their presence has reminded me that real connection doesn’t have to be loud to be meaningful.

I’m also deeply grateful for the patience and steady support of my husband throughout this chapter. His quiet belief in us has made the unknown feel less daunting. And at the same time, I recognise that not everyone has a partner or constant support beside them.

If you are navigating change on your own, I see the courage that takes. Strength doesn’t always look loud, sometimes it’s simply showing up for yourself each day.🥰

Finding aligned connections has also meant having the courage to say no to spaces and dynamics that don’t feel right and not settling for less than respect, kindness and authenticity.

One of the most freeing lessons for me has been embracing the “let them” theory.

Let them misunderstand you.
Let them judge.
Let them choose differently.

And then let yourself choose peace. Let yourself choose growth. Let yourself choose environments that feel right.

Self-acceptance has been at the heart of this chapter. Accepting that I don’t need to fit everywhere. Accepting that healing takes time. Accepting that I am allowed to outgrow spaces that once felt comfortable.

After so much change, something has shifted. I feel grounded in who I am. There is a quiet contentment here now, not because everything is certain, but because I no longer feel the need to force certainty.

Will I spend the rest of my life in Tenerife? I don’t know. None of us truly know what the future holds. But right now, I feel aligned. And that feels enough.

If you are navigating loss, transition or learning to stop comparing yourself to others know this: your journey is valid. Your pace is valid. You are allowed to take up space without shrinking to fit in.

Sometimes the most powerful transformation isn’t changing your life overnight.

It’s slowly, courageously becoming more yourself.❤️

01/02/2026

Women empowering women matters more than ever. In a world where women are too often placed against each other, choosing support over competition is powerful. When we lift each other up, celebrate each other’s successes, and stand together through challenges, we all grow stronger. There is enough space, success, and strength for every woman—especially when we support each other.

At Tenerife Woman’s Club, we support, inspire, and empower each other—because when women support women, amazing things happen🩵

We are meeting every Wednesday at 11:00 at the Apolo Centre ( 1st floor).

01/02/2026

💜Letting Yourself Be💜

For a long time, I thought fitting in meant holding parts of myself back. Staying quiet. Staying agreeable. Staying safe.

Often, that comes from past experiences or times when being ourselves didn’t feel welcomed or when we learned that showing up fully might lead to hurt. So we adapted. We protected ourselves in the only ways we knew how. There is nothing wrong with that.

But sometimes, that protection lingers longer than it needs to. It can make it feel scary to allow ourselves to simply be or to trust again, our own feelings, our voice, or the possibility that things could be different now.

Healing doesn’t ask us to rush or to be fearless. It invites us to be gentle. To move slowly. To open up in small, careful ways that feel safe enough. Trust can begin quietly, in moments so small they almost go unnoticed.

Not every space will be right for us and that’s okay. But there are places where we don’t have to earn belonging, where we can rest, soften and be met with kindness.

You don’t have to shrink to be accepted. You don’t have to change to be worthy. You are allowed to take up space exactly as you are, at your own pace.

Sometimes, fitting in isn’t the goal at all. Sometimes, it’s about allowing yourself to belong gently, slowly and with compassion for all that you’ve carried.🥰

21/01/2026

🌿 This Month’s Special Offer 🌿

Sinus pressure, colds & congestion?
This deeply relaxing Classic Facial & Hopi Ear Candling combination could be just what your body needs ✨

Designed to support relaxation, encourage a sense of clarity, and help you feel more balanced and refreshed — especially during seasonal changes.

📍 Available with Susan in clinic at Tree of Health and Wellbeing
💜 A beautiful way to care for yourself this month
✨ Message Susan 692 148 657 to book or for more details

With love,
Susan
Tree of Health and Wellbeing 💜

21/01/2026

Did you know when you receive Reiki, you are gently supported in remembering the loving frequency that already exists within you.

From this place:
✨ Kindness toward yourself deepens
✨ Connection with others softens
✨ A natural sense of peace begins to radiate outward

This is how Reiki works —
quietly restoring balance, one loving breath at a time.

🙏 We offer Reiki treatments and courses
📞 To find out more, contact us on 618 18 72 23

21/01/2026

💫Why Friendships Can Feel So Hard💫

Friendships can be hard sometimes and not because people don’t want connection… but because trust isn’t always easy.

A lot of people struggle with friendships after being let down before. When you’ve experienced being ignored, replaced, misunderstood, or disappointed, it can make it difficult to fully open up again.

Even when someone wants close friendships, there can still be fear underneath it.

Fear of being hurt.
Fear of being vulnerable.
Fear of getting too attached.
Fear of caring more than the other person.

That’s why some people keep their guard up. They stay friendly but distant. They hold back parts of themselves. Not because they don’t care but because they’re trying to protect their heart.

But real friendship should feel safe.

It should be consistent.
It should feel like effort on both sides.
Not confusion, anxiety or constantly wondering where someone stands.

And it’s important to remember this too:

It’s okay to be vulnerable.
It’s okay to open up slowly.
It’s okay to admit when something hurts.
It’s okay to need support.

The right friendships won’t make vulnerability feel like a weakness, they’ll treat it with care and respect.

The best friendships don’t require begging for attention or proving worth. They’re built on honesty, trust and mutual effort.

And for anyone who struggles with getting close, taking time to trust again isn’t weakness, it’s healing.💗

02/01/2026

🥰Warning long post alert🥰

Choosing Yourself, Even When It’s Uncomfortable

Transitions have a way of shaking us. They pull us out of what’s familiar and place us in the unknown, where nothing feels certain yet. Even when change is something we choose, it can still come with doubt, fear and a lot of unanswered questions.

Starting over doesn’t mean being fearless. It means moving forward despite the fear. It means trusting ourselves when the ground feels a little unsteady and reminding ourselves that growth rarely happens inside comfort zones.

Through all of this, one thing feels more important than ever: staying true to who we are and trusting our own voice. In moments of change, advice and opinions come from everywhere — and so does judgment. People will always have something to say, often without knowing the full story.

We’re learning that not every opinion or judgment deserves space, and that constantly second-guessing ourselves only pulls us further from what feels right.

We’re also reminded of the importance of being kind to ourselves in the process. Change is hard enough without self-criticism or replaying others’ words in our minds. We don’t need all the answers right away, and we don’t need to be perfect to be moving in the right direction. Giving ourselves grace is part of the growth.

And we come to accept that not everyone is meant to walk every part of the journey with us. Some people enter our lives for a season to teach us, challenge us, or help shape who we’re becoming. Others stay for the long haul, keeping pace beside us through the changes. Both matter. Both have purpose.

💗New beginnings aren’t about having it all figured out. They’re about showing up as we are, standing in our truth, trusting ourselves and letting the journey unfold even when we’re being watched, questioned, or misunderstood. 🌱

20/12/2025

This has now closed and due to the volume of requests I received, I increased the number to 4 people. All 4 opportunities to avail of this gift have now been taken. Thanks so much to everyone that messaged me. Everyone has been responded to.

Wishing everyone a peaceful christmas.

Take care
Carole x

💫An Opportunity to Begin — A Gift of Therapy💫

Giving back is important to me.

Throughout my time practising in the UK, this is something I always made space for. Supporting people who might not otherwise be able to access therapy has always mattered deeply to me and it’s one of the reasons I became a therapist in the first place.

I believe that strong communities are built when we support one another, especially at times when someone may need a little extra care.

As a way of continuing that commitment, I’m offering 12 weeks of therapy to two people at no monetary cost.

While there is no financial fee, this work isn’t “free” in the deeper sense. Therapy requires time, emotional energy and consistency. Engagement matters. Readiness to change is a real commitment, and the process can be challenging at times.

Please be aware that this work will not always be easy. Therapy can be uncomfortable and emotionally demanding. However, when you commit to the process, it can also be life-changing and one of the most rewarding investments you will ever make in yourself.

Because there are only two places available, I’ll be guided by readiness to engage,the willingness to show up regularly, reflect honestly and take an active role in your own change. This isn’t about who is most deserving, but about offering this opportunity where it has the best chance to be meaningful and supportive.

Sessions can be attended in person, via video, or by telephone and this offer is open to individuals who reside permanently in Tenerife.

All enquiries and therapy work will be treated with full confidentiality. There will be no public announcement regarding who is selected and your privacy will be fully respected.

Sessions will commence the week beginning 12th January.

If this resonates with you and you feel ready to commit to the process, you can contact me via WhatsApp or Messenger.

Take care
Carole

12/12/2025

Please support us this Sunday for our annual Sundowners event from 5pm. Entertainment all night with compère Lynne Food available. Raffle and games. All to help the Green Roommproject and children with cancer

12/12/2025

💫Who holds the silence holds the power.

We often feel the pull to defend ourselves. To explain and to respond quickly so we aren’t misunderstood, judged or dismissed.

But that reflex can be exhausting.
It keeps the mind alert, the body tense and self-worth tied to other people’s reactions.

Silence, at times, is choosing not to feed that cycle. It’s pausing before self-protection turns into self-abandonment. It’s trusting that your value doesn’t disappear just because you didn’t reply.

When you don’t rush to defend, your nervous system settles. When you don’t feel compelled to respond, mental space opens up. You begin to protect your peace instead of constantly managing perceptions.

Holding silence is not giving up your voice. It’s giving your mental health a break. It’s remembering that you are already enough, with or without an explanation.

💛That quiet self-trust is the power.💛

06/12/2025