04/12/2025
One of the biggest game changers for me? Knowing my limiting beliefs, AKA my assumptions, underlying stories, unfounded fears, all of it.
Discovering that I was unintentionally sabotaging my own efforts because of ingrained mental patterns allowed me to change the way I thought, and that changed the way I behaved. And that, finally, changed my outcomes.
My biggest limiting belief was that I was incapable. As a result, I:
- gave up easily
- didn’t put in the effort required to achieve certain things
- avoided what I genuinely wanted to pursue
What I didn’t realise was that I had plenty of evidence to the contrary. I was very capable. But when you hold a deep-seated belief about yourself, you don’t go looking for proof that challenges it. That’s confirmation bias doing its thing.
And limiting beliefs don’t usually take over every corner of your life. In many ways, I felt incredibly capable: creative projects, travel, anything that required independence. But the belief was still there, quietly steering my decision-making when I wasn’t paying attention.
And here’s the thing: everyone has one. Yours may not look like mine, but you almost certainly have a belief humming in the background, quietly undermining your efforts. It might sound like:
- I’m powerless
- I can’t trust myself, others, or the world
- I must be perfect
- I’m not enough
- I’m unlovable
- I’m unworthy
There are countless variations.
Something that really surprised me, though, was understanding that a limiting belief isn’t entirely bad; it’s usually the flip side of one of your greatest strengths.
People who believe they’re incapable often become incredibly resourceful.
People who feel unlovable often grow into empathetic, service-led humans.
People who chase perfection often become the most dependable, detail-focused in the room.
So the first stage of changing your life without actually changing your life is recognising your own personal brand of dysfunction. Because once you can see it, you can catch it in action, shift your focus, and even uncover strengths you didn’t realise you had.
Image: Me feeling very capable having just moved into a ‘luxury’ apartment in Aix on a teacher’s salary.
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I’m Nicky Peters, mindset coach and hypnotherapist, supporting expats online in France to confidently recreate their lives abroad and live to the fullest.
