08/06/2025
As you can imagine, people frequently tell me about their s*x life, not just in my therapy office, but on the street. Just as often, they tell me of their s*x-less life.
Time and time again, I’m told about unintentional celibacy—from the married couple in a rut to the young dater who, frustrated by bad s*x, has chosen to give it up altogether…for now.
I am often asked: is this normal? How often should we be having s*x? Will it ever change? Are we not right for each other? Am I doing it wrong? and more.
Contrary to popular belief, erotic practice doesn’t begin in the bedroom. Eroticism can come from the welcome touch of your lover or it can come from noticing how late summer rain feels on your skin and inviting your lover outside to experience it with you.
It’s a practice of exploration, curiosity, connection—not just physically, but energetically, emotionally, and psychologically. The more we engage in eroticism outside of the bedroom, the more the bedroom becomes simply another location for eroticism to take place. S*x isn’t just something we do; it’s a place we go—inside ourselves or with another.
Click here https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle if you're curious about my desire bundle: two back-to-back courses to help couples struggling to bridge their s*xual impasses and achieve greater satisfaction.
