Rae Baxter Arts Counselling

07/04/2026

Does this hit deeply for you too?

07/04/2026

www.SocialWorkersToolbox.com

06/04/2026

Need to talk?

I'm here to listen

Rae Baxter MBACP - 1:1 client-led, integrative therapy for children (4y+) and adults.


hello@rachaelbaxter.com
06 68 59 14 93

03/03/2026

Most people go to therapy because of something that happened to them—a trauma, a breakup, or a loss. But for the emotionally neglected, the problem is what didn't happen. You grew up in a house where you were fed, clothed, and schooled, yet your internal world was a ghost town. No one asked how you felt, no one validated your fears, and no one mirrored your joy.

Katherine Peterson’s Emotional Neglect and the Adult in Therapy is the clinical yet deeply compassionate map for the person who feels "fine" on the outside but is dying of thirst on the inside.
​She shows that the "void" you feel is not a sign of weakness, but the logical result of growing up invisible.

​Here is how you fill the empty spaces in your soul:

​1. The "Invisible Wound" is harder to heal than the visible one.
Physical abuse leaves a scar that the world can see and validate. Emotional neglect is a "non-event." Because nothing "bad" happened, you spend your adulthood gaslighting yourself, wondering why you feel so empty when your childhood was "normal." Peterson explains that this lack of emotional connection in childhood stunts the development of your "emotional self." You learned to bypass your feelings to survive, and now you are a stranger to your own heart.

​2. You have become a master of "The False Self."
​To get along in a family that ignored emotions, you likely became the "easy" child, the high achiever, or the silent observer. You built a personality based on what others needed from you rather than who you actually were. In therapy, the work is about dismantling this armor. Peterson guides you through the process of dropping the mask and discovering that your needs, your anger, and your desires are not "too much"—they are essential parts of being human.

​3. Transference is the "re-enactment" of your childhood hunger.
In therapy, you might find yourself desperate for your therapist's approval or terrified of their rejection. Peterson explains that this is "transference"—your inner child is finally finding a person who listens, and it is trying to get the "emotional milk" it missed out on decades ago. Instead of being ashamed of these intense feelings, you can use them as a laboratory. By working through these feelings with a therapist, you are literally re-wiring your brain to accept care and connection.

​4. Healing is about "Self-Attunement," not just talking.
​You cannot think your way out of emotional neglect; you have to feel your way out. Peterson emphasizes the importance of learning to notice the small physical sensations in your body. When you start to recognize the "lump in your throat" as sadness or the "tightness in your chest" as anxiety, you are finally paying attention to yourself in the way your parents didn't. This "attunement" is the medicine that eventually closes the void.

​Dear Friend, you are not "broken" and you are not "dramatic." You were simply a child who was asked to grow up without a mirror. It is not your fault that you feel empty, but it is your privilege to start filling that space now. Be patient with your progress. You are learning a language you were never taught, and you are doing a beautiful job.

​BOOK : https://amzn.to/3ZXzJa0
You can ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above

28/02/2026

Therapy isn’t about rescuing.
But it also isn’t about leaving someone to struggle alone.

27/02/2026

Let the 'glimmers' in ✨️
Soak up those moments.
Cumulatively they build up our lived experience of joy.
They help to balance out the shadow.
We're not pretending the shadow is not there; in fact we are holding and experiencing both, with value ☯️

24/02/2026

Setting boundaries isn't just about saying no. It's about identifying what you value, recognizing what needs to change to protect that value, and then following through with action. Here's the framework.

Start with what you value. Your peace, your time, your emotional safety, your identity, your healing, your confidence. Then identify what needs to stop to protect that value. If you value your peace, you need to stop engaging with people who drain you. If you value your time, you need to stop over-committing out of guilt.

If you value your emotional safety, you need to stop tolerating disrespect to keep the peace. If you value your identity, you need to stop shrinking yourself to make others comfortable. If you value your healing, you need to stop revisiting relationships that repeatedly hurt you. If you value your confidence, you need to stop seeking validation from people who don't see your worth.

Then honor it through action. Limit access without explanation. Say no to things that don't align with your priorities. Walk away from conversations that turn toxic. Speak your truth even when it's uncomfortable. Choose distance over dysfunction. Trust your own judgment first.

Boundaries without action are just wishes.

11/02/2026

09/02/2026

Saw this and wanted to share with you 😊

I don't always post frequently because to be very honest I find choosing a micro-topic from the myriad options to be quite overwhelming sometimes. I get stuck and then end up posting nothing. I imagine this is quite common - the vague feeling of pressure to produce regular content, wanting to post relevant content that people can relate to/ connect with, trying to choose the 'right' thing and to say it in the 'right' way. It's very clear to me that being a good counsellor and being a good social media content wizard require two very different skill sets!

Anyway, I did see this today and wanted to share it, so I hope it lands for someone 🤞🏽

⭐️ Check the column on the left for any presenting limiting behaviours
- there may be several and that's OK but that can feel too much for some people, so take them one at a time if you need to.

⭐️ Look along to the central column for the root cause
- to understand more about how you got to where you are today.

⭐️ Then along again to the last column for a suggested re-write script
- you can use the text as an affirmation - stick it on the wallpaper of your phone/ on your steering wheel/ somewhere you will see it many times a day.

Re-wiring takes repeated, conscious effort. Neuroplasticity makes it possible! 🧠

You can take these themes to therapy to explore further and reflect upon your story in a held space with a trained professional.

If you are looking for a counsellor feel free to drop me an email ⬇️
hello@rachaelbaxter.com

05/01/2026

Some wise words on addiction from the legendary Gabor Maté - "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" (photo).

As Gabor explains addiction comes in the form of many different behaviours, as well as the use of different substances.
Addiction is actually very common.
Some addictions carry more social stigma then others.
It's all the same in terms of the brain.
Whether it's disordered eating, shopping addiction, workaholism, alcoholism, he**in addiction etc.
Anxiety and self-soothing behaviour are at the root of addiction. These maladaptive coping mechanisms are established early in life, when we have a lack of soothing from our childhood environment/ relationships.
The healing work with addiction includes being accepting, self-compassionate and using mindful awareness when the addictive urge arises.
Having therapeutic support is beneficial, in the form of personal therapy/ a 12 - step programme.
If you want to talk more about addiction or any other mental health issues feel free to get in touch - hello@rachaelbaxter.com

02/01/2026

🌳 If you have access to a forest/ green space try increasing the amount of time you spend in nature.
Switch your phone off (beeps and buzzes trigger a physiological response) and take a pause.
'Just be' in the trees, moss, fresh air.
Slowly crunching leaves underfoot, dappled sunlight and magical birdsong.
THIS is what we need to improve our physical, mental and emotional well-being, to counteract our 'virtual' life.
And...it's free! 🌲

25/12/2025

Love this. Take care of yourselves and each other over the festive period 🧡