31/01/2026
Everything feels like it's crumbling right now. Both in the world and inside me. I can't relate to my own music. How can I go out into the world and sing "I am Joy" when I feel so much rage. There's so much spiritual bypassing so much that I don't want to be associated with any more. For so long I just pushed away feelings because "they don't exist", for so long I ignored trauma and pain because I thought that's just normal and it's just how it is. For so long I have put on a smile and said "It's all good" when at times everything in me feels weird.
I can't be fake, I'm cant pretend everything is love and light. Life can be brutal and really hard and I can't pretend that everything is great when I feel so much anger and sadness in these moments.
I don't know what will come from this time but at the moment it feels liberating. I can't see how I can go out into the world and sing these songs when I don't feel them. I want to be real and honest and truthful because that feels more spiritual to me than putting on a smile and singing "I am light, I am Grace" maybe that is the deeper truth but to ignore everything else and say that it doesn't exist feels completely weird to me right now.
Being treated like I'm a guru made me question everything. Having people think I'm something special made me feel uncomfortable. Be careful of following people in the hope they can save you. Nobody can. Follow yourself and if you have faith in anything have faith in kindness, that's the only thing that matters and being real, being honest and truthful.
The truth hurts but it is liberating.
I hope I can make music that reflects some of these feelings I have inside as I've always been afraid to share those songs because I felt it wasn't positive enough but I think it's important to give space for this expression too.
I am grateful that the music I have released has helped people, for that I feel very happy but you don't need to think that I'm in some way different because of that, I'm just the same as you and everyone else and we all have our own beautiful, weird, unique expressions.
I don't know where you are reading this but I send you my love, thanks for listening.