16/01/2026
Children must be allowed to identify their own needs.
They must be given permission to feel— all feelings, not just the comfortable ones.
A child whose needs are criticised, muted, or decided for them doesn’t grow into an adult who copes better.
They grow into an adult who can’t identify when they’re tired, when they need rest, or what actually brings them joy.
A child who isn’t allowed to experience negative emotions doesn’t grow into an adult without sadness or anger.
They grow into an adult who feels those emotions and then feels guilt and shame for having them.
Emotional autonomy is not indulgence.
It is a basic requirement for psychological development.
Repeated messages like:
“Your bad mood affects us all”
“Remember how privileged you are / I never had what you had / children have it much worse”
“Dont be dramatic”
“Don’t disturb your mother/father”
…teach a child that their inner world is inconvenient, excessive, or unsafe.
And that doesn’t disappear with age.
If you are a parent and you recognise these attitudes, this isn’t about blame— but it is about responsibility.
Unexamined patterns are passed on.
If this feels uncomfortable, good.
Discomfort is often the beginning of awareness.
And awareness is how cycles stop repeating.
