Counselling with Lynda

16/02/2026

If the same problem keeps happening, it might not be about some flaws in the individual. Blaming and shaming others can feel empowering, but it is not effective and reflects a rigid mindset.

When we label someone as "the problem", we shut down growth, trigger defensiveness; reduce psychological safety; and create an environment where no one thrives. Under stress, our brains switch to fight, flight, or freeze responses, impairing rational thinking and problem-solving.

Act today:
1. Demonstrate leadership

2. Show empathy in your actions and responses

3. Seek to understand the emotions behind criticism or silence so you can uncover, recognise and validate unmet needs



AI-generated image.

10/02/2026

The Dialectic of Trauma: Denial and Truth.

Silence protects the pain rather than the individual.
Everyone has a duty to create a safe environment for trauma survivors, encouraging them to share their lived experiences, supporting their truth, and countering efforts to deny what they have endured.

Photo AI-generated.

09/02/2026

The Body Remembers What the Mind Forgets.

During trauma and for the sake of our survival, the autonomic nervous system invovles deeper parts of our brain "the unconscious brain" to prepare the body to reacts with fight, flight, faint or dissociation before the conscious mind registers the event.
Healing, therefore, requires listening to both body and mind for a healthy integration and growth.

Photo AI-generated.

05/11/2025

💬 We Break Because We’re Human — But We Also Heal Together

People don’t break because they are weak. They break because they are human. 💔

Lately, it feels like the world keeps throwing one crisis after another at us — wars, disasters, loss, fear, and pain everywhere we look. It’s no surprise so many of us feel anxious, helpless, or even guilty for being okay when others aren’t.

But please remember this: feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body and mind are trying to protect you. That racing heart, that tight chest, that moment where you just want to disappear — it’s your system saying “danger”, preparing you to fight or flee.

When escape isn’t possible, our brains sometimes “shut down” to help us survive. That’s not weakness — that’s biology. But if we hold it all in, the pain can stick with us. It shows up later as anxiety, numbness, nightmares, or feeling disconnected from ourselves.

Healing starts when we reach out — when we talk, move, cry, laugh, or create. Sharing our stories helps the body and mind let go of what they’ve been holding onto. It’s connection, not isolation, that brings us back to life. 🕊️

That journey is why I now help others heal and grow. Because no matter how deep the wound, hope is always possible. 🌱

20/10/2025

🌱 Les erreurs ne te définissent pas — elles te façonnent

Tout le monde se trompe et c'est humain. Mais une erreur ne veut pas dire que toi, tu es un échec.
Ça ne veut pas dire que tu es nul·le, moche, ou que tu ne mérites pas d’être aimé·e.
Ces pensées sont juste des histoires que ton esprit raconte quand tu souffres. Ce n'est donc pas la réalité.

Ce qui compte vraiment, c’est ce que tu fais après.
Sois curieux·se de tes erreurs au lieu de te juger.
🧠Les neurosciences montrent qu’à chaque fois que tu apprends d’un échec, ton cerveau se reconnecte. Il crée de nouveaux chemins qui renforcent ton adaptabilité, ta prise de décision et ta capacité à résoudre des problèmes.

Alors, offre-toi un nouveau départ aujourd’hui.
Fais un petit pas vers un état d’esprit de croissance :
💡 Dis-toi : « J’ai fait une erreur dans cette situation, mais cela ne me définit pas. »
Puis demande-toi :
✨ Qu’est-ce que je peux apprendre de ça ?
✨ À qui puis-je en parler pour m’aider à avancer our trouver des solutions?
✨ Quelle autre façon pourrais-je essayer la prochaine fois ?

Chaque erreur est une occasion de grandir — pas une preuve que tu as échoué. 💪
Maîtriser cette façon de penser s'acquiert avec la pratique et en faisant confiance à ton processus ! N'abandonne pas ! 💪

20/10/2025

🌱 Mistakes Don’t Define You — They Refine You

We all mess up sometimes. But a mistake doesn’t mean you are a failure. It doesn’t mean you’re worthless, ugly, or unlovable. Those thoughts are just stories your mind tells when you are hurt — not the TRUTH.

What really matters is what you do next.
Be curious about your mistakes instead of judging them.
🧠 Neuroscience shows that every time you learn from a setback, your brain literally rewires itself — building new pathways that make you stronger, more adaptable, and better at problem-solving.

So, give yourself a clean slate today.
Take one small step toward a growth mindset:
💡 Try saying — “I made a mistake in that situation, but that doesn’t define who I am.”
Then ask yourself:
✨ What can I learn from this?
✨ Who can I talk to for support?
✨ What new way could I try to handle this next time?

Every mistake is an opportunity to grow — not proof that you’ve failed. 💪
Mastering that way of thinking comes with practice and by trusting your process! Do not give up! 💪

13/10/2025

As I reflect on my journey as a therapist, I often think about this quote: "True growth begins when we confront our past and embrace change."

In my experience, recognising and healing from the shadow of the past and any unresolved childhood trauma are a vital step toward personal development and building healthy relationships.

Every client’s path is unique, and at "Counselling with Lynda", I focus on nurturing that individuality, fostering resilience, and changing the narrative to overcome limiting beliefs so that you can live a life you meant to live.

If you are curious about how counselling might support you, do not hesitate to contact me at info@counsellingwithlynda.co.uk to arrange a free 30-minute consultation.

05/09/2025

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚
Trauma often creates a painful internal conflict: the urge to speak the truth versus the pressure to keep silent. This inner existential struggle can cause distressing symptoms and block healing.
But when communities stand together, speak up against abuse and break the silence, survivors feel less alone. They can begin to share their stories without shame or stigma.
Healing from trauma is not just an individual journey. It’s something we can all support by choosing truth over denial, compassion over silence.

02/09/2025

✨ 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞. ✨
When I changed career in my 40s, I didn’t realise how much fear was running the show. I was secretly terrified of being homeless or penniless — and it pushed me into irrational choices.
Then one day, during a holiday break, I finally saw my fears. I smiled at them, and something shifted. Step by step, with a forward-looking mindset, I began making better decisions.
Here’s what I learned: fear is only a mindset. When we face our fear of change, of judgment, of the unknow, it loses its grip and makes space for growth, clarity, and resilience.

💡 What fear are you ready to face today?

25/08/2025

Happy Morning!

Personal growth is not a final destination but an ongoing journey of self-discovery.

🧠Each challenge we face offers us the chance to persevere, to explore solutions and in doing so, our brains create new neural pathways that strengthen our capacity to learn, adapt, and thrive.

18/08/2025

17/08/2025

🌟 Seeking effective strategies for #𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲? You are not alone. Below, are five evidence-based approaches to assist you on your journey towards healing and personal growth:

𝟏. 𝐄𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐒𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲: Create a secure environment where you feel comfortable and protected. This is the first step in trauma recovery.

𝟐. 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧: Be kind and gentle with yourself. Recognise and acknowledge your emotions and validate your experience without judgment. Whatever you are experiencing, every feeling serves an adaptive purpose to protect you.

𝟑. 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬: Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing, to help ground yourself in the present moment and reduce anxiety.

𝟒. 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups. Building connections can provide essential emotional support.

𝟓. 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞: Consider working with a therapist who specialises in trauma. Tailored support can guide you through your healing journey more effectively.

Trauma recovery can be a complex undertaking, but implementing these strategies will empower you to regain control over your life. If any of these apporaches resonate with you, let us discuss it further, shall we.