Fat Fives Football

28/03/2026

🎉 SEASON 10, WEEK 9 FAT FIVES FOOTBALL RESULTS ARE IN! 🎉
What a massive week for Fat Fives Football! The competition is heating up, the goals are flying in, and the progress on the scales is nothing short of inspirational. Let's break down all the action from Week 9! 🚀

🏆 TEAM OF THE WEEK! 🏆
Leading the charge with a stellar 2.8kg loss, James E takes the captain's armband for the Week 9 TOTW! 🌟 Joining him in this powerhouse lineup are Loon (2.0kg), Greg R (1.9kg), Willie (1.8kg), Gregor M (1.5kg), Ryan MC (1.5kg), Taylor (1.4kg), Jonny (1.3kg), Greg A (1.3kg), Martin P (1.1kg), and Coco (1.0kg)!

Incredible work by all our TOTW stars and a massive well done to everyone who saw a loss this week! Every gram counts toward those season goals! 👏

🏃‍♂️ INDIVIDUAL WEIGHT LOSS 🏃‍♂️
The "Perfect Run" club is looking elite! Our top 8 players are all sitting on a maximum 24 points! 💪 Greg A currently claims the top spot, followed closely by Willie in 2nd, while Greg R makes a big move into 3rd. Consistency is the name of the game!

⚖️ OFFSHORE COACH TEAM WEIGHT LOSS ⚖️
O.B City continue to dominate the scales, sitting top with a massive 83 points! 🔥 Scrandinavia are breathing down their necks in 2nd with 81 points, and Ivory Toast hold strong in 3rd with 71 points.

👑 POTS (PLAYER OF THE SEASON) 👑
It’s a "Goalie Union" at the top! 🧤 Our top 4 positions are currently held by goalkeepers, proving just how vital they are to their squads. James W leads the pack with a huge 57 points, followed by Lewis P (42 points) and Barry M (40 points).

🍫⚽ GOLDEN CHOCOLATE BOOT (MVP) ⚽🍫
Connor M takes the lead in the race for the boot with 37 points! 🚀 Chris M is chasing hard in 2nd (33 points), with Loon right behind in 3rd (32 points).

📊 MATCH RESULTS & LEAGUE TABLE 📊
Scrandinavia are absolutely unstoppable right now, taking maximum points again, including a statement 8-1 victory over O.B City! 😱 Rapid Viennetta also secured a vital 5-0 win over Parmesan Belgrade to keep the pressure on.

In the standings, Scrandinavia have extended their lead at the top with 73 points. Bayern Bru sit in 2nd on 58 points, with O.B City currently 3rd on 45 points.

What a week! The momentum is building as we head further into the season. Keep up the graft, both on the pitch and in the kitchen! ✨

28/03/2026

WEEK 8 HIGHLIGHTS: THE HOME STRETCH BEGINS! ⏱️⚽
The pressure is reaching a boiling point as we move into the final weeks of Season 10! Week 8 delivered defining moments under the lights, with heavyweight clashes at the summit and vital battles for breathing room throughout the standings. 📈

🌟 WHAT TO WATCH FOR:

The Title Statement: A massive head-to-head at the top of the table has an impact on the title race. Will the gap become too big to close? ⚔️

Climbing the Standings: With the mid-table tighter than ever, see which squads managed to secure the points needed to create distance and shift the momentum in their favor.

Late Drama: From last-gasp equalizers to defensive heroics, the highlights capture the intensity of teams fighting for every inch as the season reaches its peak.

Clinical Finishing: Our strikers were on top form this week. Look out for a spectacular team goal featuring seamless one-touch passing that carved open the defense! 🍫⚽

The table is shifting, the goals are flying, and the drama is only just beginning. Catch all the action and the full Week 8 breakdown in the highlights now!

WATCH NOW: https://youtu.be/_U4SqPoHqGQ 📺

OFFICIAL SEASON 10 SPONSORS 🤝 A huge thank you to our partners helping us make this season the best yet:🏆 The Offshore Coach - Sponsor of the Team Weight L...

28/03/2026

JACK S HAS JUST BROKEN THE SOUND BARRIER! 🚀

Absolute scenes at Fat Fives week 7 as Jack S pulled off a worldie! 🏟️ A sensational first-time volley from just outside the box that left the keeper rooted and the crowd in shock. This is pure technique, explosive drama, and exactly why we love Monday nights! ⚽️💥

Want to see that thunderbolt for yourself and check out all the other action from the pitch? 🎥🍿

Catch our weekly highlights on our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/ to see every goal, every miss, and every epic save! Don’t forget to subscribe and turn on notifications so you’re the first to see the latest action. 🎥🍿

Was this the strike of the season so far, or have you seen a better one? Let us know in the comments! 👇

28/03/2026

Join us in celebrating a monumental milestone for Greg! 🌟⚖️

Greg has smashed the barrier to join the ELITE 10% Lost Club! 🏅 From that explosive 4kg loss in Week 1 to his incredible consistency since, he's proven that showing up is the secret sauce. ⚽️💨

Joining the 10% Club is a serious statement. From the 5% Club foundations into top-tier territory, Greg is a true inspiration to everyone on the weight loss journey! ⚡️

A massive congratulations from everyone at Fat Fives Football. You’re a credit to your team and a warrior on the scales! 🛡️🍫

Who’s going to be the next one to hit that 10% milestone? Let us know your goals in the comments! 👇

23/03/2026

WEEK 8: DOMINANCE AT BOTH ENDS! ⏱️⚽
The pressure is mounting as we head into the final weeks of Season 10! After a massive night on the scales and the turf, the gap at the top has widened, while the battle to climb the standings at the other end has produced some of the most vital results of the season so far.

🌟 TEAM OF THE WEEK 🌟

We have a shared captaincy this week! Both Doug and Jack S put in phenomenal shifts with a 2.8kg loss each. They are joined in an elite lineup by: Loon (2.0kg), Greg R (1.4kg), Stuart I (1.4kg), Adam Mc (1.4kg), Willie (1.2kg), Stephen B (1.1kg), Greg A (1.0kg), Terry A (1.0kg), and Ross C (0.7kg). 📈

🏆 THE OFFSHORE COACH: TEAM WEIGHT LOSS 🏆

The race for The Offshore Coach Team Weight Loss Award remains consistent at the summit! O.B City continue to lead the way on 78 points, while Scrandinavia (69) and Flaberdeen (64) are keeping the pressure on in 2nd and 3rd. ⚓

⚖️ LOSS LEADER ⚖️

Consistency is the name of the game! We still have a top 8 who have secured a perfect 21 points out of a possible 21 so far this season. Based on total percentage lost, Greg A holds the top spot, followed by Willie in 2nd and Lewis F in 3rd.

🎖️ INDIVIDUAL HONOURS & THE BOOT 👟

Player of the Season (POTS): The race for the individual crown is tightening up! James W maintains his lead at the top with 46 points, but there is now a three-way deadlock for 2nd place between Lewis F, Lewis P, and Zac, all sitting on 37 points. 🧤

The Chocolate Boot: Connor M has extended his lead at the top with 36 goals. The race for the silver boot is neck-and-neck, with Chris M and Loon currently tied in 2nd on 27 goals each. 🍫⚽

📊 LEAGUE STANDINGS & RESULTS 📊

It was a night of defining moments on the pitch! Scrandinavia made a massive statement in the title race, defeating their closest rivals and picking up a perfect 9 points to extend their lead at the top. Flaberdeen also secured 5 vital points to create some breathing room from the bottom of the table.

The standings now see Scrandinavia pulling ahead in 1st (64 points), with Bayern Bru in 2nd (51 points) and O.B City holding 3rd (39 points).

🤝 OUR SEASON 10 PARTNERS

A massive thank you to The Offshore Coach, our Team Weight Loss & General Sponsor. Their support ensures we don't have to rely on luck to make Fat Fives Football a success. Check them out here: https://link.fatfives.football/toc

🍔 McDonald's - Bib & General Sponsor. Supporting the Fat Fives community on and off the pitch. Check them out: https://link.fatfives.football/mcdonaldsabz

Football

21/03/2026

🚨 DO NOT SCROLL PAST THIS POST 🚨 Fat Fives Football NEEDS YOU 🫵
The Ask: Please Follow our page and Share this point, thank you! 🙏
If you are seeing this post, it means someone you know (a friend or even a family member) is on a journey to make positive change to their health. At Fat Fives Football we are determined to make 2026 the year our members hit their health goals. Despite all the amazing support we already have, each week we're still hearing the words "I didn't even know this was a thing".

SO LET'S CHANGE THAT!!

Each follow and each share YOU can provide helps raise awareness of how we can support Men with 26+ BMI in the North East of Scotland who are looking to make positive changes to their health. It takes only 10 SECONDS to hit the follow button on our page and the share button on this post but the impact it can make cannot be understated. Please just take 10 seconds of your time to support us through these actions.

If you are already a supporter, THANK YOU! Even if you don't participate in our sessions, your support is just as meaningful as a supporter of the amazing weight loss journeys our members are on.

Help us make 2026 the year our members hit their goals and change their lives for the better 💪💪

21/03/2026

NEW MEMBERS TO THE 5% CLUB 🎊⚖️👏

We’ve got FOUR new faces joining the ranks for Season 10! A massive well done to these lads who were presented with their certificates on Friday night.

Hitting that 5% weight loss mark is a massive milestone: it’s where the grit on the pitch and discipline off it really start to show. Your consistency over the last few weeks has been top-class, and you’ve set the bar high! Big congrats to Robbie, Lewis P, Greg R and Willie 👏

Who’s going to be the next to step up? Let’s keep that momentum shifting as we power through the second half of Season 10! 🌟💪

20/03/2026

WEEK 7 HIGHLIGHTS: MAKING OUR OWN LUCK! 🍀⚽
It might have been Friday the 13th, but there was no "bad luck" to be found under the lights! As we move deeper into the second half of Season 10, the stakes are rising and the margins for error on the pitch are thinner than ever. 📈

🌟 WHAT TO WATCH FOR:

The Triple Sweep: Three different teams defied the odds this week, securing perfect 3-win sweeps! These massive 9-point hauls have completely transformed the standings. 🧹

Title Race Twist: A new challenger has fought their way into 2nd place, putting serious pressure on the summit as the gap at the top begins to shift.

Mid-Table Mayhem: The race for position is reaching a boiling point. With 4th, 5th, and 6th place now separated by just a couple of points, every single goal in these highlights carried massive weight.

The Clinical Finishers: From last-minute winners to dominant displays, see how the momentum shifted across all three pitches.

The table is shuffling, the goals are flying, and the drama is only just beginning. Catch all the action and the full Week 7 breakdown in the highlights now!

WATCH NOW: https://youtu.be/StoixtGVMjY 📺

OFFICIAL SEASON 10 SPONSORS 🤝 A huge thank you to our partners helping us make this season the best yet:🏆 The Offshore Coach - Sponsor of the Team Weight L...

20/03/2026

"Unbelievable, Jeff!" 🎙️⚽️ Chuckie just sent shockwaves through the league with an absolute peach of a header! 🍑 Chuckie climbed higher than the cost of living to meet this one just outside the keeper’s area, looping it perfectly into the net. 💥

The drama is hitting new heights every week at Fat Fives. Every explosive finish is moving the lads closer to their goals: both on the pitch and on the scales! ⚖️🔥

Catch our weekly highlights on our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/ to see every goal, every miss, and every epic save! Don’t forget to subscribe and turn on notifications so you’re the first to see the latest action. 🎥🍿

Was that the best header you've seen at the league so far? Let us know in the comments! 👇

18/03/2026

Absolute CHAOS at the edge of the box! 🌪️⚽️

Chopper somehow kept the ball through a complete rammy of bodies before finding the back of the net. World-class control or just sheer dumb luck? Either way, it looked class! 🧙‍♂️✨

Catch our weekly highlights on our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/ to see every goal, every miss, and every epic save! Don’t forget to subscribe and turn on notifications so you’re the first to see the latest action. 🎥🍿

15/03/2026

WEEK 7: FRIDAY THE 13TH... MAKING OUR OWN LUCK! 🍀⚽
They say Friday the 13th is for the superstitious, but our players proved that hard work beats a lucky charm every time! Instead of worrying about black cats or cracked mirrors, the lads went out and smashed their goals on the pitch and the scales. We’ve officially moved into the second half of Season 10, and it’s clear that fortune favors the bold!

🌟 TEAM OF THE WEEK 🌟

Our captain Sean F found the pot of gold this week, leading the way with a 1.8kg loss! Joining him in the "lucky" circle of high achievers are: Adam (1.3kg), Ash (1.3kg), Ross C (1.1kg), Stephen B (1.1kg), Adam B (1.0kg), Konnor (1.0kg), Willie (1.0kg), Colin Mc (0.8kg), Martin G (0.8kg), and Greg A (0.8kg). 📈

🏆 THE OFFSHORE COACH: TEAM WEIGHT LOSS 🏆

O.B City are keeping their magic touch, staying top with 72 points! Scrandinavia are chasing their own golden streak in 2nd on 63, while Flaberdeen hold onto 3rd with 57. ⚓

⚖️ LOSS LEADER ⚖️

Only 8 players have managed to keep their "perfect run" streak from being jinxed! Greg A is currently the ace in the pack at the top of the % lost rankings, with Willie in 2nd and Lewis F in 3rd.

🎖️ INDIVIDUAL HONOURS & THE BOOT 👟

Player of the Season (POTS): The Goalkeeper's Union has finally found some competition! While James W still holds the top spot on 38 points, Lewis F (32) has dodged the superstitions to move into 2nd, tied with Lewis P and Zac. As the only non-goalkeeper in the top three, he’s definitely the wildcard in the deck! 🧤

The Chocolate Boot: Connor M is on a charmed run with 32 goals! Chris M (26) and Loon (23) are hoping for a bit of a lucky bounce to close the gap, but the lead is looking formidable. 🍫⚽

📊 LEAGUE STANDINGS & RESULTS 📊

The "Friday the 13th" gremlins stood no chance! Parmesan Belgrade hit the jackpot, picking up 3 wins and a vital 9 points to vault up the table. Scrandinavia continued their incredible winning streak with another 3/3, while Bayern Bru secured 3 points to stay right in the title hunt.

The standings show that the future is bright: Scrandinavia sit comfortably at the top (55), but Bayern Bru have found their lucky break to move into 2nd (45)! O.B City have shifted to 3rd (38), while the mid-table is a total toss-up—4th and 5th are separated by just 1 point, and 5th and 6th by only 2!

🤝 OUR SEASON 10 PARTNERS

A massive thank you to The Offshore Coach, our Team Weight Loss & General Sponsor. Their support ensures we don't have to rely on luck to make Fat Fives Football a success. Check them out here: https://link.fatfives.football/toc

🍔 McDonald's - Bib & General Sponsor. Supporting the Fat Fives community on and off the pitch. Check them out: https://link.fatfives.football/mcdonaldsabz

13/03/2026

Wrighter just turned the pitch into a dance floor! 🌪️💃

That pirouette was absolute poetry in motion: smooth, clinical, and straight into the bottom corner. ⚽️💥 Easily one of the highlights of the season!

Catch our weekly highlights on our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/ to see every goal, every miss, and every epic save! Don’t forget to subscribe and turn on notifications so you’re the first to see the latest action. 🎥🍿