10/12/2021
GLADVENT: your daily Christmas toolkit
Day 7: name, don’t shame, your emotions
I’ve just been listening to Christmas radio which is perpetually filling my ears with how much joy I should feel about Christmas. Social media and advertising feeds us the same message... Christmas is a time for joy, merriment and mirth.
But the reality is much more complex. There’s so much happening, or not happening, at Christmas that we can have complex emotional responses in response to the complexity of this season. And covid is making it ever more complex than normal this year.
These are the emotions that you told me Christmas triggered in you, and actually there were more than 12 because emotions can be subtle, complicated and individual. It’s clear that Christmas emotions are far more complex that just joy, mirth and merriment. Overwhelm was by far the top answer.
How we respond to our emotions is important. All too often we shame or suppress our emotions, and that tends to make us feel worse. The science suggests that Naming, allowing, normalising and validating your emotions are responses to help us respond to and get through difficult emotions.
So however you feel at Christmas, this is how you feel. Don’t beat yourself up because you think how you are feeling is wrong, and you think you should be feeling different because of the general message that’s perpetuated. This is a complex time of year which results in complex emotions for many people, including feeling a range of emotions and sometimes even feeling apparently opposite emotions all at the same time.
Your emotions are individual to you, and there is no wrong emotions to feel at any time of year, particularly at this complex time of year.
If you start noticing these emotions are becoming overwhelming or your responses unhelpful, then it’s worth using this as an indication that you need to stop and think about what you can do to help. Of course your emotions are valid but sometimes we just need a bit of extra help with them. As always , if your emotions are having a significant impact on your functioning or you are concerned about your mental health speak to your GP (uk) about options available to you.