Traumatic Birth Recovery

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Traumatic Birth Recovery

This page is for parents and birth professionals who have been impacted by trauma symptoms arising f

This page is for birth professionals or parents with an interest in birth trauma and recovery therapies. The views on this page are my own and in no way reflect the views of any organisations or individuals that I work with.

19/12/2025

I like Christmas a whole lot more now I am older and my kids are pretty much all grown.

For years I have cultivated a practice of saying ‘no’ more often. I wish I had started sooner when my kids were younger!

‘No’ to unwanted festive, family gatherings
‘No’ to unnecessary gifting
‘No’ to elaborate decorating
‘No’ to ‘seasonal activities’ like Winter Wonderland et el

For parents with young children there is such pressure to ‘create the magic’ of Christmas that it can cause burnout, resentment and an all round miserable time.

For parents who are struggling with anxiety, depression or trauma symptoms, not having the energy to do any of the ‘things’ can cause a lot of guilt, shame and upset.

Here is what I have reminded the parents I have listen to this month:

• Remember Christmas is just one day and then it is gone. When feeling the pressure repeat on loop internally; ‘it’s only one day, it’s only one day’

• It’s completely ok to say ‘no’ to family and childrens’ demands if it all feels too overwhelming.

• Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is real and does negatively effect mood. It usually begins to lift after Christmas with the lengthening of days and gradual increase in daylight.

• Children will more likely remember the time you spent with them than the money you spent on them. Take the pressure off yourself with this thought.

• If going out to ‘things’ and ‘places’ is overwhelming then stay in and get cosy with a Christmas film, making gingerbread, or decorations for the tree.

• Prioritise the things that make you feel more comfortable, more energised and more able to cope. This is different for everyone and I encourage parents to think seriously about what would feel good for them.

• If parenting solo then be aware of the sentimentality of the season and how this can sting for those who are alone.

Christmas really is just another day, in the middle of a long winter.

18/12/2025

🎄

10/12/2025

I listen to women every week whose guilt and shame about their birth experience is often underpinned by the thoughts they had at the time of their traumatic birth.

This is what i say to them....

https://tbrschool.podia.com/blog/you-will-feel-instantaneous-love-and-other-harmful-myths

03/12/2025

This is me Christmas 2005 about 35 weeks pregnant.

The pram is at the ready in the background but I feel far from prepared.

I had spent so much time preparing for birth, thanks , but hadn't read a single page on what life would be like with a newborn.

I spent a great deal of time when I was pregnant worrying about money, worrying about my career, worrying about if I would be a good enough parent, worrying my baby would hate me when inevitably I wouldn't be a good enough parent.

An impending sense of doom grew with each day.

I cried most days, sometimes quite publicly, sometimes in the toilet at work, mostly at home.

No one asked me what was wrong or what I was crying about. Everyone just said 'pregnancy hormones...' when they saw me tearing up.

Everyone talks about what an exciting time pregnancy is but for many it is the complete opposite; a time of intense worry about the future, re-triggered past childhood trauma and alot of upset and sadness.

Yet there is little acknowledgement of this STILL even 18 years on.

If you are a parent with anxiety we would love to support you back to peace.

It doesn't have to be your normal, you can master anxiety and you can even grow from it.

We offer parents who are pregnant or who have children under 2 years old, 6 free sessions that aim to support them back from surviving to thriving.

Use the link to access fully funded, free support

https://form.typeform.com/to/SH6ipgBs

Please share widely in your community.

30/11/2025

A HUGE 🙏🙏🙏 to Katie for her feedback, I hope that it inspires other parents who are struggling with anxiety to reach out.

She finishes her feedback:

'my partner has noticed a huge difference in me and how I am with the girls. I’m so much more relaxed to take the girls out or divert from our routine, I am far less anxious in places like soft plays so my youngest has hugely benefited from me taking her to more places! I trust my parenting instinct so much more and just feel so much happier. And we are still having ongoing talks about another child. None of which would have been possible before.'

Being free from anxiety will mean some different to each individual.

We work with parents on their own unique goals for freedom from anxiety.

Get in touch today using the links on our website below if you would like support with perinatal trauma, anxiety or depression.

https://thebirthrepublic.com/

28/11/2025

..... BUT in years of supporting parents recovery from anxiety and depression I have found that working with any trauma FIRST is a really effective approach.

Why?

Because living with trauma symptoms untreated over a period of time is a struggle and can cause depression and anxiety disorders....

However this isn’t how most therapeutic approaches work.....

Most commonly available therapy uses either CBT or talk therapy first and fails to address the traumatic memories and symptoms that are holding low mood and anxiety in place.

Teaching relaxation, being solution focused and then using rewind or EMDR creates space and allows for something new grow.

This is trauma informed therapy that supports parents towards their own goals for recovery.

Better yet, it is faster than most ‘traditional’ non trauma focused approaches.

If you are a professional who wants to learn how to support parents back to health check out our 2 year course; Level 3 Diploma in Perinatal Hypnotherapy...

We start in September and would love to have you join us if you are committed to supporting parents back to health after trauma, depression or anxiety!

Find out more here https://tbrschool.podia.com/level-3-diploma-in-perinatal-hypnotherapy

22/11/2025

💔 Shame is often experienced by parents who have had a traumatic birth.

💔 Shame arises out of a perception that we are wrong, unlovable, bad or unacceptable in some way.

💔 Sadly, it’s all too obvious why modern, medicalised birth is so often shaming of parents.

Experiencing birth as a series of interventions inflicted on to the vulnerable birthing body feels like a shaming abuse.

Too often the maternity system is telling parents:

‘you’re unimportant, your body is defective, it is not fit for the purpose or birth, it has failed, you have failed.’

Of course, this feels very bad and shameful for parents who have spent 9 months growing, caring, nurturing and bonding with their precious babies.

Shame is different and more painful than guilt which exists to help us become aware of breaking our own moral code.

Shame is a stickier, much edgier emotion than guilt and whilst we would do almost anything rather than admit our shame it still lives in the body and plays havoc with our autonomic nervous system.

Because shame feels so bad (it is linked to an acute fear of rejection) it activates our limbic system triggering anxiety or dissociation as a way of coping with this most terrible of threats (that of being disowned, caste out and abandoned).

Shame is so painful we would rather do anything than bring it into awareness, so we often hide it behind blame, anger and denial.

However, unless we can shine light on shame it will continue to live and breathe in the shadows, activating us whenever we feel ‘triggered’.

Curiously as soon as shame is brought into the light and offer ourselves love, compassion and forgiveness it can dissipate.

This is just one way that TBR Perinatal Therapists can support traumatised parents to recover after a shaming birth experience.

If you would like support recovering from perinatal trauma, anxiety or depression then please use the links in the bio to get in touch.

21/11/2025

Everyone has walked a different path to get here.

Some have endured long, painful fertility journeys full of loss and longing...

some do not have adaquate support from partners, family or friends...

others have experienced traumatic births that have left them physically or mentally low and unable to cope...

some have had NICU stays or are still coping with their baby’s ongoing health issues ...

others are struggling to adjust to the seismic hormonal, relationship and identity shifts that are bigger for some of us.

Some haven’t slept for more than a few hours at at time for months on end...

others are torn apart by feeding difficulties.

Comparison is not just ‘the thief of joy’ it’s the killer of self worth, confidence and self compassion.

Give yourself a break.

You’re doing something difficult.

And you’re probably doing it a lot better than you give yourself credit for...

If you would like support in finding the ground beneath your feet again, get in touch using the links in the bio....

18/11/2025

Symptoms can include:

• Not being able to stop crying
• feelings of hopelessness
• persistent low mood
• feelings of not being able to cope
• not being able to enjoy anything
• excessive anxiety about the baby
• difficulty in bonding with the baby
• being unable to concentrate or focus
• isolating from friends and family
• sleeplessness
• extreme tiredness & lack of energy
• aches and pains
• feeling generally unwell
• anxiety
• loss of appetite

Parents often feel a heavy sense of self judgement, even loathing when experiencing depression, which only compounds the condition.

There is often a lot of pressure at this life stage ‘to get it right’ and be ‘the best parent’, have the ‘perfect birth’, ‘breastfeed’, ‘go to mother & baby groups’, ‘sign up for classes’, ‘get a sleep routine established’, and ‘bounce back’ (whatever the hell that means!).

When these things are difficult, or traumatic, or don’t happen for whatever reason, some can interpret this as a personal failing.

Which of course it isn’t at all.

But it does leave people to then vulnerable to experiencing depression as the harsh punitive self talk about ‘failing’, ‘not being good enough’ can begin to take root in their mind.

Tim Cantopher is a Psychologist who wrote the book; Depressive Illness The Curse of the Strong.

He puts forward an idea that I have found to be true in every woman I have supported with PND.

He suggests that depression occurs when people have a high standard for themselves, when they are conscientious, diligent and caring of others.

When they encounter struggle, stress or adversity they are unable to ask for support because they feel they have to shoulder it all, cope with it all, manage it all.

Here a 3 important therapeutic tool to share with depressed parents:

• It isn’t their ‘fault’ that they are finding this hard. Many of us struggle. Judging ourselves for perceived failure just makes a difficult situation harder to bear.

• Listen carefully for all the things that are going right. When depressed we become blind to any positives and part of the work is to reflect the things that are going right and to celebrate those wins – no matter how small.

• Ask ‘what would you say to a friend in the same position, who is struggling?’ and then suggest that they begin to affirm these things for themselves out loud, or in their head or in a journal, frequently to offer a counter balance to all the harsh, judgey thinking that has often been running rampant through the mind unchecked.

If you are a parent who needs support please PM me for details of our free funded therapy sessions.

If you are a professional who would like to know how to do more to support parents recovery from depression, anxiety and perinatal trauma then take a look at our 2 year course in Perinatal Hypnotherapy.

https://tbrschool.podia.com/level-3-diploma-in-perinatal-hypnotherapy

13/11/2025

I have finally got round to making a google reviews account!

If we have supported you and your recovery from trauma, depression or anxiety then please leave a review using the QR code.

If you are a professional who refers into us (you know who you are 😉) then please leave a review.

A recent polling of our past clients revealed that they only found about the service by chance and they all urged us to market the service more.

Reviews are such an important part of this.

HUGE thanks 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏

12/11/2025

‘I've been good actually, i’ve been a lot more kind and patient with myself.I feel like I finally recognise that I've been through a lot and I'm not imagining it or overreacting. Also finding that I can recognise when I'm getting tense and quickly tap back into how my body feels when I'm doing the meditation. Which feels great and is making it easier for me to focus on my mountains of admin because I feel so different, like Im recognising my strengths not doing myself down. I cant believe how much 2 sessions with you has already helped. I am so so grateful.'

This client I am currently working with kindly gave her permission for me to share.

Now this woman has been through ALOT.

Like with many of my clients, I listened to her story with utter awe at how much they have endured yet how they are still doing amazing things.

It blows me away how strong mothers are, yet how little credit they ever give themselves.

Usually because trauma symptoms, anxiety and depression have left them feeling broken.

When those symptoms are lifted and women are re-engaged with their resources, their strength, their resilience they just get on with their stuff, doing amazing things, raising their kids.

Blows me away, every time.

If you need support getting back to who you really are, underneath the trauma symptoms, anxiety and depression, get in touch.

02/11/2025

Over 600 perinatal professionals have trained with TBR School since 2016.

Learn the revolutionary 3 step therapeutic framework and start supporting parents in your community to recover from all types of perinatal trauma.

💜 This course has both online and in person (over Zoom) elements.💜

🌟 Next live dates 9th & 10th December

🌟 Rigorous 3 part assessment.

🌟 Ongoing supervision available monthly.

🌟 Free website listing for all practitioners.

🌟 Enables Practitioners to gain insurance on completion.

🌟 The course is usually £1320 but until the 14th November it's just £1056!

💜 Plus our payment plans are back and you can join the course today for just £90.💜

Use the link https://tbrschool.podia.com/tbr-3-steps

Address

5 Green Lane
Addlestone
KT152TZ

Website

https://thebirthrepublic.com/

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