24/01/2026
Some of my best memories of when my children were young are the joy of a guilt-free leaving. The pantomime we left at the interval. The swimming pool where we were met by a wall of sound as we walked out the changing rooms – and we left without getting wet. The days out where it was clear that 20 minutes in the playground by the car park was in fact enough, even though we had paid for all day. The peace once we had decided that we wouldn’t be trying to make this work anymore, that enough was enough – and we could always try again another day. We could breathe out.
One of the most powerful things we can do for our children is to reconnect with our own experience and to tell them about that. We can say ‘Wow that was way too loud for me’ or ‘What a relief to be out of there!’. We can celebrate their ability to make decisions, and we can enjoy the moment when we decide that we’d rather be at home. We can be happy on the way home and sing silly songs.
We can see these times as successes, not failures. Just because we’ve left today, doesn’t mean that we won’t try again in the future. If you know you can leave somewhere without feeling bad about it, then you’re more likely to feel you can give it another try at a different time. You leave on a high, not a low.
Children are practicing a skill. It’s the skill of trying things out, and deciding that right now, I’ve had enough. It’s a skill many adults were not encouraged to develop, and where we often lag far behind our children.
It’s not too late, we can learn it too. We can listen to ourselves, as well as our children.
