Wendy McCallum The Anti-stress Angel

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Wendy McCallum The Anti-stress Angel

I mentor Mums of autistic kids so they and their families thrive not just survive. If you would like to know more, please get in touch.

I support Adults of Neurodivergent (ND) Children to prioritise their self-care so that they can give support from a plentiful, not resentful place, advocate for their children to get the support they need, want and deserve from educational/leisure settings and to have more harmonious relationships with family, friends, supporters and providers. As a solo parent of two growing boys, who are Neurodivergent (ND), this is my life’s work. I know how lonely and hard it can be navigating diagnosis and support for our ND children I know how easy it is to put our children’s needs first leading to us feeling worn out and resentful. I know how tricky it can be to manage relationships with family, friends and professionals who just don’t get it. I know the importance of putting in place all the elements that help me to flourish and I love supporting others to feel the same.

23/03/2026

Connor eats a very restricted diet, as one of the elements of his autism.

He loves salt and vinegar crisps, which he calls green crisps. He used to eat Walkers until they changed the recipe. They made the vinegar a lot stronger, and he hated it! He now eats Sainsbury’s own brand, which, luckily, also comes in a green packet. When we’re in Scotland visiting family and friends, I have to make sure that there is a Sainsbury’s close by, or I take packets with me.

Why, you may ask, surely salt and vinegar crisps are available everywhere? Well, yes and no. Some of the brands in Scotland put salt and vinegar crisps into blue packets! That was the case when I was a child, and it took me quite a long time living in England to get used to S&V in green packets. Cheese and Onion were in green packets, and I hate those!

So, does a green packet mean S&V or C&O for you?

20/03/2026

I received this lovely feedback after a Compatibility Call this week 🥰

If you've been thinking about working with me, I hope this reassures you that our initial call (to see if we'd like to work together) is a positive experience!

12/03/2026

Have you got family/friends who are still “old school” and think that autism doesn’t exist? “In my day ….”

Autism has existed for a long time, it just wasn’t diagnosed. I’m sure many of us can think of people we were at school with who were the “naughty” kids, or the “quiet, shy or brainy” kids. Many of them may have been autistic, but we just didn’t know that.

It doesn’t actually matter whether they believe autism exists, or if they believe that your child is autistic (regardless of whether they have a diagnosis or not), what matters is that they adjust their expectations and behaviours to support your child!

Some useful phrases that help are:
“X finds it really helpful if you give them a 5-minute warning that they will be going out.”
“X really struggles when new foods are introduced. When they’re with you, please give them the foods on this list. I’ll be working on introducing new options when the time is right.”
“Please don’t eat A when you’re around X. They hate the smell/look/texture and will vomit/scream/cry if they are around it.”

It may take a while for them to believe that autism exists, or that your child has it, but in the meantime, you can ask for what your child needs, wants and deserves to make life easier.

I can help with this. Please DM me so that we can see if we’d like to work together.

11/03/2026

What are the signs of possible autism that you may not be aware of?

Here’s one. Is your child a “picky eater”?

How do they behave when you give them a new food or their normal food/brand changes slightly?

Maybe they vomit when they see a food they don’t like the look of. My son, Connor, did that when he was younger, although I’m very glad to say that he’s grown out of that now, as it was horrible.

Maybe they scream when you try to give them battered chicken nuggets instead of breaded ones, or if the recipe has changed a little, or you serve them Tesco’s own brand instead of Sainsbury’s (because “Mum, they are different!”).

Maybe they eat the same foods for each meal every day, even though you encourage them to try new things.

Any of these issues does not mean that your child is autistic. It’s just another area that you may not have considered.

09/03/2026

Some people don’t think they can work with me because their child’s autistic needs seem to be too “mild” or too “extreme”.

This is nonsense!

I work with people whose autistic children demonstrate many different behaviours and have many different needs.

I’m not Goldilocks, your child doesn’t have to be “just right” on the autistic spectrum for you to work with me!

Please DM me if you'd like to learn more about how I work and see if we'd like to work together.

04/03/2026

I'll be honest and say that I sometimes have a wobble about my business. Imposter syndrome raises its very ugly head, and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing/if I'm good enough, etc. Yesterday, in a group I'm in, we were asked what our purpose is. You can see mine below. It was so timely, as the responses really helped me to remember that there are lots of Mums of autistic kids who want/need my help to save them from burnout, in the same way that they are doing their best to save their children from burnout. If you'd like to know how I can help you, please DM me and I'll be in touch.

24/02/2026

You may not know what ripples you have created, but maybe you could share the positive ripples that have been created by others by letting them know?

I sometimes hear people say that they individually can't make a difference in the world. I've occasionally said it myself, but it's just not true!

We never know the ripples that we create, and sometimes we may never know. I was at Salsa last night. One of the Team (teachers) attended my Aromatherapy adult education course 22 years ago. When I arrived, she told me that another participant on that course was at Salsa! I hadn't seen this lady since the course, but when I spoke to her, she told me that she still uses her essential oils because of that course. She now creates perfumes for herself and her friends 💞

It was heart-warming to hear that something I had shared with her had continued to provide her with support and joy 💕

11/02/2026

I am judged because Connor and Mitch don't do many chores, and "should" be helping me around the house, especially because I'm a solo parent. Apparently, I'm not preparing them for the adult world! Don't get me wrong, sometimes it would be great to have more help and there are life skills that they need to learn, but that has to be balanced against their needs.

I make conscious choices about this every day. The first consideration is that they will be adults/grown-ups for a long time (hopefully) and children for a fairly short time, so I don't want them to spend their childhoods doing chores that they'll be spending a long time doing for the rest of their lives!

Secondly, the boys don't have the same emotional or practical capacity every day. It varies depending on the environmental load that day (noise, bright lights, crowds, temperatures etc), what that day has held (exams, assessments, performances etc) and what is going on in their emotional world (heartbreak, grief, disappointment, excitement).

So, some days they will help and some days they won't. What's important is that I choose what I feel is right based on what I know and what I can see and feel, and they know that when they've got more capacity, they are expected to do more.

Does that make sense?

If you struggle to get other people to understand that your autistic child may need a different approach, please DM me to arrange a Compatibility Call to see if we would like to work together.

09/02/2026

This weekend, Connor didn't want/need me, and although I had to take a breath for a moment, I was delighted 💕

Connor and I attended a Stand-up Comedy Course this weekend. Stand-up is one of his dreams, and he absolutely loved it. We had to walk around the block to learn our set, partnering with one of the other participants. I was there to support Connor (the course leader hasn't had a lot of experience with autistic young adults) and helped him a little, but for this, he wanted to be partnered with someone else.

It felt a bit like when your child is at nursery, and you don't want them clinging to your leg, not wanting to go in, but equally, there's a pang in your heart when they run in without so much as a backward glance! I took a breath and then helped him to partner up with someone who I knew would be great with him. A big thank you to Roy!

Connor's set was brilliant! He was confident, clear, very funny, used great body language to help get his jokes to land, had great timing and great energy. I was so proud, but even more proud of his independence. I knew he could perform and perform well, but witnessing him being able to ask for what he wanted and be more independent was the real success of the weekend for me.

04/02/2026

There are a lot of posts at the moment about the proposal to ban mobile phones for students in school. There are many good reasons for doing that, however, there are some downfalls of a blanket approach.

Neurodivergent or anxious kids may need to contact a parent if they are dysregulated. They may rely on their phones as they may become non-verbal and not be able to explain what’s going on to a teacher, but could text home and get support.

When my older, autistic son was in Year 7, his school still allowed phones. By mistake, he got locked in the PE office. He didn’t know how to use the phone to contact reception (because he had never been taught how to do that), but he was able to phone me using his mobile, and I contacted the school to rescue him! He would have had to wait until the end of the next double lesson for a member of staff to unlock the door, and by that stage would have been incredibly distressed if he hadn’t had his mobile.

My younger son (at the same school, but there has since been a change of policy) isn't allowed his mobile to be seen in school, but they don't have the facility to store them. This means that he won't take his phone to school in case it's confiscated. This makes it difficult if I'm running late for the school run, as I can’t let him know. It also affects students who take the bus to school, as the buses don’t always arrive on time.

I can see there is the potential for some benefit for schools and students, but a more even approach would be helpful to the whole community.

03/02/2026

The support and advice that I give to clients isn't one-size-fits-all (it's specifically tailored for each family), and it's not just for today, it's for the future too. I was delighted to receive this email from a client showing that she has carried forward the ideas from last year, and it helped make Christmas smooth for her and her family.

What support or advice do you still use today, that you've known about for a while?

02/02/2026

Nicci Trounson is running an online session on Thursday 19th March, to help neurodivergent learners with mindfulness and self-regulation. It looks really interesting and valuable. Tickets are available on Eventbrite. You can find the link in the comments

Address

Street Lane
Ardingly
RH176UB

Website

http://www.wendymccallum.co.uk/

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