19/02/2026
We need to talk about how easily “boundaries” are being misused.
Blocking someone.
Leaving them on read.
Disappearing without explanation.
These are not necessarily boundaries. Often, they’re avoidance dressed up as empowerment.
In my work, I tell clients all the time:
“You have the right to set boundaries.”
But that does not mean you have the right to be unkind.
It does not mean you avoid naming the rupture.
It does not mean you refuse repair.
It does not mean you exit every time you feel discomfort.
A boundary is not a weapon.
It’s not a punishment.
It’s not silent treatment rebranded.
A boundary is information.
It teaches someone how to be in relationship with you.
If you haven’t explained what hurt you…
If you haven’t given space for accountability…
If you haven’t attempted a conversation…
That isn’t a boundary. It’s withdrawal.
We are living in swipe culture. People feel disposable. Conflict feels intolerable. Discomfort is confused with danger. So the reflex becomes: delete, block, disappear.
But healthy adults can tolerate disagreement.
Healthy relationships can survive rupture.
Growth requires conversation.
Blocking is appropriate in exceptional situations: harassment, abuse, threats, or repeated violations after clear boundaries have been communicated.
But if your first response to being upset is to erase someone without dialogue, that isn’t strength. It’s avoidance.
Boundaries are meant to make relationships safer - not to avoid having relationships.
Sometimes the most boundaried thing you can say is:
“That didn’t feel okay. Can we talk about it?”
🤍
