Nicola Gilbert Counselling and Psychotherapy

27/02/2026

For anyone with either a diagnosis or suspected diagnosis of endometriosis, it getting some attention this week at the BAFTAs matters.

With an average time of 10 years to get a diagnosis, utter exhaustion from coping with the condition itself, the compounding impact of a medical system that more often than not doesn’t believe you, a lack of research about what causes endometriosis, and no real treatments to stop it growing or regrowing after surgery, this level of visibility matters.

I have worked with many people who have, or suspect they have, endometriosis and the impact of them having to cope every day is immensely challenging.

It’s hard when you’ve been gaslit, told to “take a paracetamol”, “it’s just a bad period”, “it’s not that bad”, “take an antidepressant”, “it’s just stress”. No it’s not! And yes I’ve had all these and more said to me too. You deserve to be heard and your pain taken seriously.

If you’d like to work with someone who will hear you, believe you, and see your pain get in touch on nicolagilbertpsychotherapy@outlook.com


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPloEp8BAz8


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYhDy82mHTA

20/02/2026

Uff I feel this and add

A cup of body aches.

3 spoons of things happening that no doctor seems able to explain despite many tests (sigh).

Layer upon layer of exhaustion from the gaslighting (it’s all in your head, no it’s not!)

Sachets of pills that don’t make any difference.

If you’re managing a health condition that requires day-to-day management, I get it.

I work with clients who might approach me for one issue and during our time together they recognise that they need support with the impact of their physical wellbeing.

I have experience working with the mental impact of many physical health conditions and have a particular interest in women’s health and the fight people experience to get heard in the healthcare system.

If you’re interested in starting sessions get in touch on nicolagilbertpsychotherapy@outlook.com

You’ll be seen and heard here.

13/02/2026

So many people have had this said to them by friends, family, and, yes, sadly by their therapist. “You attract drama”, “you brought it on yourself”, “you’re the problem”, “you’re the common denominator”. It’s no wonder it seeps into people’s brains.

Firstly, you didn’t bring this on yourself, other people’s behaviour is not yours to solve, and you’re only the common denominator because you’re the one talking about your relationships.

At the same time it can be really helpful to see if there is a pattern for you, and, if so, where it comes from. What I’ve found is that people can be people pleasers, for some people something happened when they were a child which means they respond in particular ways in relationships. Perhaps they were bullied, or have been in an abusive relationship. There are so many possible reasons but things can change. There is hope for things to be different.

I work with people who see themselves reflected in comments like this, who feel the pain of them and want something different for themselves. We’ll work through the pain, identify the patterns, and talk about how you want your life to be so you can get there.

To get in touch to discuss working together email me on nicolagilbertpsychotherapy@outlook.com

05/02/2026

I want to take a moment to talk about the four women in this documentary https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002qx68/lover-liar-predator

Four strong, brilliant women who were abused, coercively controlled and denied justice before finally getting their abuser sent to prison.

This is a hard hitting documentary told in the women’s own words. No-one speaks for them anymore.

I was left thinking though, I wonder how many people watching this think it’s an extraordinary and unusual story. It’s not. I know many people whose story is markedly similar, except the ending. Most get no justice through the criminal justice system and many don’t find other people abused by the same person to talk with. Two things these women worked really hard to get.

If you recognised yourself in their stories, please know you’re not alone. And please know there is hope. You may not feel there is now. In fact you might be thinking ‘how on earth do I get through this moment I’m in’. But you can.

There are many organisations who can help. See my post here https://www.linkedin.com/posts/activity-7411418144168296448-sK0o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios&rcm=ACoAABKeplEBcMzXMZVCsQbUhdysz83wDb3dsAU.

And if you want someone to talk with and support you through I’m here nicolagilbertpsychotherapy@outlook.com
I have immediate availability online across the UK and in person in South London. Prices range from £45-£65 per session.

You don’t have to do this alone. Just like these women.

Domestic abuse doesn't wait for the festive period to be over. It's in the fear of the person coming home drunk and taking it out on you or the children. It's in the comments that feel just a bit off that make you uneasy (was it gaslighting or is it just in my head?!) It's in you waiting for somethi...

01/02/2026

Are you looking for therapeutic support?

I’m Nicola, a trainee psychotherapist with four years of training behind me. I’m based in Tooting Bec and online and focus primarily on sexual assault and domestic abuse though I also have experience in a wide range of issues including anxiety, depression, bereavement, and trauma.

Fees range from £45-£65 with immediate availability.

Get in touch on nicolagilbertpsychotherapy@outlook.com

23/01/2026

Over-explaining comes up a lot in therapy and it makes sense why.

For some clients they were never really heard as a child and feel desperately the need to be heard now.

For others they were gaslit by a partner and told their reality wasn’t reality at all. They now find themselves clinging on to their truth with everything they have.

Many blame themselves and feel there’s something wrong with them but, really, they’ve done their absolute best to adapt to their circumstances.

It can feel really uncomfortable to be seen, heard and understood in your truth by a psychotherapist. But it can also be a powerful new experience.

To get in touch and possibly start sessions email nicolagilbertpsychotherapy@outlook.com

16/01/2026

At this point in January when we’re all wondering ‘will this month never end?’ I thought I’d re-introduce myself. I’m Nicola, a trainee psychotherapist and counsellor working with clients face to face in Tooting Bec/Balham and online.

For the last 2.5 years I’ve volunteered as a psychotherapist in a women’s centre and an online low cost psychotherapy service. I’ve worked with people who experienced sexual assault, survived domestic abuse, have a new or evolving health diagnosis, experienced a bereavement, or have recognised that there are aspects of their childhood that they’d like to talk about with someone.

I strongly believe that psychotherapy can help you find the you that you want to be and get you to a future you want to be living. There is hope, and we can find it together.

If you’re feeling nervous about getting in touch and starting therapy, that’s natural as it can feel like a big step. When you contact me we’ll arrange a 15-20 minute free consultation which is usually a phone call or online meeting. During this we’ll talk a little and you can ask me any questions you have. I believe it’s really important that you choose a psychotherapist that you feel you can talk with, so openly exploring this can be helpful.

If you’ve been thinking about psychotherapy, you’re welcome to get in touch and we’ll take it one step at a time nicolagilbertpsychotherspy@outlook.com

(Photo of me in one of the rooms where I work).

14/01/2026

Content warning of s3xual as3ault and police investigations (hoping the 3s will prevent the FB algorithm from deprioritising this post).

Having worked with people who have experienced s3xual as3ault, I have seen how retraumatising the criminal justice process can be. Therefore, I welcomed the government’s confirmation on Monday this week (12th January 2026) that police will now only be able to request survivors’ counselling notes in specific circumstances.

What it boils down to is police can’t go on fishing expeditions and can only ask for what is “necessary, proportionate, and relevant” and need senior level sign off first.

I sincerely hope this reduces the barriers to justice and reduces the potential of retraumatisation.

I’m also really pleased at the publicity this has received and hope that means more people will access the psychological support they need.

Victims to be given more privacy with new rules blocking police from requesting counselling notes during investigations unless in exceptional circumstances.

08/01/2026

I have a new website for my psychotherapy business, exciting! https://www.nicolagilbertpsychotherapy.co.uk

Even more exciting, I have new spaces available to work with me.

I work with people who feel lost and are trying to get their future back but have no idea how. This can feel like anxiety, depression, and come from a wide range of experiences.

If you or someone you know want someone to talk with get in touch on nicola@nicolagilbertpsychotherapy.co.uk

I work online across the UK and in person in South London.

It is possible to get your future back and I’ve seen it happen time and again. There is hope.

I offer you the opportunity to talk about whatever is on your mind in a calm and confidential place to be heard and understood, perhaps for the first time in your life. I work with people who feel lost, anxious, depressed and are struggling to cope. We work to take control back of your life, helping...

01/01/2026

Today is just another day.

You don’t have to set resolutions, intentions, desires to do things differently.

Yes, even if lots of people around you are.

Yes, even if you’re getting tons of social media stories about how great last year was and how great this year will be.

At best these stories mask the fact that life has both ups and downs. But they also mask the truth that the changes people often say they want to make require money, time, and health that not everyone has.

If you’ve been in pain all year, going to the gym to get fitter is unlikely to be at the top of your list.

If you’re counting every penny, eating more fruit and vegetables to be healthier may not be in your price range.

If you’re working several jobs to make ends meet, being told to meditate or ‘just find 5 minutes’ for yourself can feel like a joke and a life you’ll never be part of.

Also, frankly, why on earth would you want to make changes that require lots of energy at a time of year that’s dark, cold and miserable? Doing this is literally ignoring our biology and what nature tells us- to conserve energy, eat the carbs, and cosy up.

So, snuggle up, take the pressure off, and just take it a day at a time.

You do you, not what everyone else is doing.

29/12/2025

Domestic abuse doesn't wait for the festive period to be over.

It's in the fear of the person coming home drunk and taking it out on you or the children.

It's in the comments that feel just a bit off that make you uneasy (was it gaslighting or is it just in my head?!)

It's in you waiting for something to happen, always feeling like you have to behave in a certain way in the hope that all will be ok. But it usually isn't.

Domestic abuse doesn't discriminate. It can happen to anyone of any gender, religion, race, sexuality, or relationship type.

The festive period can be a difficult time if you're experiencing domestic abuse but you're not alone.

I have over 2 years' experience working with survivors of domestic abuse. Contact me on nicolagilbertpsychotherapy@outlook.com to arrange a free 15 minute consultation.

In the meantime, here are some organisations who might be able to help.

National Helplines:

England
Call 0808 2000 247 run by Refuge

Northern Ireland
Call 0808 802 1414 run by Women’s Aid NI

Scotland
Call 0800 027 1234 run by Scottish Women’s Aid

Wales
Call 0808 80 10 800 run by Live Fear Free

Specialist Organisations:

The Men’s Advice Line 0808 801 0327

ManKind Initiative 0808 800 1170

National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline 0800 999 5428

Muslim Women's Network Helpline 0845 960 6011

Jewish Women's Aid 0808 801 0500

Sistah Space 020 7846 8350 support to women and girls, particularly of African and Caribbean origin

Karma Nirvana 0800 5999 247 support and advice for victims and survivors of forced marriage and honour-based violence