Present Future Self

13/11/2021

I have moved posts to my general page, Barry Bray, but mostly you will find me on Linked In !

Feel free to follow me there.

13/09/2021

You don't have to be a therapist to give comfort.

Don't know what to say? No problem.

Sometimes just being a friend is all you need to do.

07/09/2021

One of the best things about being your own boss - you can do things on your own terms.

So this morning I worked in my nice sunny garden. Yay!

And yet - how many of us do this when the opportunity arises? How many actively seek to disrupt any ingrained automatic thinking and habits - especially negative ones? How many of us just blindly go along with the flow? All of us, of course.

It isn't that difficult to disrupt this though.

Part of it is being self-aware. Part of it is to focus on the now and not sometime in the imagined future, grounding yourself as it were. Part of it is allowing your inner voice some freedom, and listening/challenging it.

And part of it is learning how to cultivate and develop this skill set.

02/09/2021

I am really proud of myself today.

Just got my latest MSc (in the Psychology of Mental Health) assignment back and got - an 85% (that is 3/3 now) - a great distinction!

Proud of the grade, but more proud of what it took me to get it.

It was entirely based on skills I had never studied or used before - metasynthesis, thematic analysis, qualitative coding (in all its forms), lit review, research strategies and more - so I was properly in at the deep end and had to work it all out from scratch.

I went through over 70 very detailed research papers, 4 heavy ‘tomes’ in the field, 350 pages of rather dry ‘how to do qualitative research’, more websites and video’s and other referenced material than I can remember - and then popped all of that into 2500 words which, with all the coding, came in at - 55 pages.

And all on top of the actual study of the module material.

There were plenty of late nights/early mornings, head in hands, confusion about what to do and how to do it, swearing at the computer, swearing at the assignment, gee-ing myself along - but I got there. Big thanks also need to go to my ‘study buddy’ Marguerite for being a sounding board/frustration sharer/sanity checker!

Still a way to go on the MSc, and I am not counting my chickens - but I have decided to celebrate these little victories along the way because - it’s nice.

I talk about resilience and help people to develop resilience a lot in my therapy work, and now I am pleased to add something new to my arsenal of experience and stories - me!

p.s. fyi I chose to do the piece on factors affecting the attainment and educational experience of Black students in the UK - quite an eye opener when you look at the evidence.

p.p.s. YAY!!!!

01/09/2021

Being positive isn’t just ‘wishful thinking’ - it really does have an impact on your health and your happiness.

It also needs to be accompanied by action to have that impact though. We all need to nurture ourselves by taking time to actively work on our mindset daily - it is one of the most important things we can do for our overall health.

It can be tricky to know how to start if you haven’t been doing it. So begin with 5 minutes in the middle of the day when you just STOP - no phones, chats, TV, work etc. Just let your brain have a break (or even better have a midday nap) and let yourself just breeeeeaaaaathe.

You will thank yourself for it.

26/08/2021

"It ain't what you think it's the way that you think it, that's what gets results." (Baz-anarama)

Stress affects us physiologically just as much whether it is in response to something real or 'imaginary'.

How we frame our thoughts is absolutely crucial, so the steps you take to address this - like having a regular self care routine and understanding that thoughts are not 'reality' - are so important.

What is your self care routine like?

19/08/2021

I am rubbish in the mornings. Can't do them.

Or......

I can.

Morning routines are so important to your day.

Routines may not be sexy (although they could be, lol!), but they do work when applied consistently over time.

I recorded a 5 minute podcast on this a while back, 3 actionable and completely manageable takeaways for you to try.

Have a listen here if you fancy!

Innovative 5 Minute Mindset podcasts give practical mental health help. 3 action points in each podcast. Up to date research and innovative podcasting to help personal development and guide your understanding of thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Podcasts deal with relaxation and stress for students

16/08/2021

Well that was interesting - I had forgotten how much time it takes to write a proper assignment, especially when you are learning something completely new.

So I was burning the candle late last night and up early to hit the deadline today.

And I thought I was well prepared!

You can't always be in control of everything. Things come up. Things go wrong. Things take more out of you than you think.

And that is ok.

Sometimes you have just got to go with it.

12/08/2021

Good luck to all the pupils, parents/carers and schools today for GCSE results day today.

Remember all the hard work you put in under the most trying of circumstances, just getting through that was an achievement let alone sitting exams/tests/papers during it!

And breathe……...

11/08/2021

So, a couple of weeks largely off the internet has done me the world of good.

And nothing much has changed in that time - I haven't really missed much but I have gained a fair amount of time back.

When did you last do it?

10/08/2021

Good luck to everyone on A-Level results day today, and to those hoping to go to university and on apprenticeships.

And to the teachers who have encouraged, cajoled, guided, helped, supported, given hope and help to all those students - amazing job.

20/07/2021

Obvious (but not) - post of the day.

Drink water.

It is hot. Very hot. You have dehydrated overnight and you will dehydrate during the day.

So if you want to maintain energy, focus, cognition, good sleep and, or course, fun - drink plenty of water.

Have it somewhere visible and accessible (just make your life easier!).

This may sound obvious but think - how much have you actually drunk this morning? Anything?

This public service announcement has been brought to you by, err, me!

p.s. I drink a pint or two (not as difficult as it sounds) every morning by 9am - makes me feel much better and gets fluids in quickly!