28/01/2026
When Trying Harder Isn’t the Answer
At some point, many people quietly decide this about themselves:
I must be broken.
Not in a dramatic way.
More in a tired, resigned way.
You’ve tried to change.
You’ve tried to improve yourself.
You’ve tried to be calmer, stronger, more together.
And when the same feelings or patterns keep returning, it’s easy to assume the problem is you.
But often, what you’re struggling with isn’t a fault.
It’s something that learned how to help you cope.
A way of thinking that once kept you safe.
A behaviour that brought relief when you needed it.
A pattern that formed when you didn’t have better options.
That doesn’t mean it needs to run your life forever.
But it does mean it doesn’t need to be fixed, shamed, or forced away.
Feeling different usually begins when the pressure to “sort yourself out” softens.
When understanding replaces self-criticism.
When you stop fighting parts of yourself and start listening.
Change tends to come quietly from there.
If this speaks to you, you can explore this way of working further at
sunflowtherapy.com
