Sorrel Pindar, Resilience in Relationship

17/12/2025

Last chance to join tonight’s free masterclass.

Many ex-boarders learned to survive by wearing a mask.
Competent, self-contained, emotionally guarded.

But that same mask can quietly affect adult relationships.

This evening, we'll be exploring:
* why these patterns form
* how they show up in adulthood
* what becomes possible when the mask begins to soften

🕡 Today, 6.30pm (UK time)
🔗 sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

15/12/2025

The masterclass is the day after tomorrow, and I wanted to share a little more about what this session is really about.

So many ex-boarders notice the same emotional patterns repeating in their adult lives in relationships, in conflict, in moments of closeness or vulnerability... without fully understanding where they began. These patterns are not personal failings. They are survival strategies, learned early, when we needed them.

This masterclass offers a space to gently explore those strategies:
Why they formed, how they once protected you, and why they may now be limiting connection, ease and emotional freedom.

If you’ve been curious but unsure, it’s not too late to book your place.
You’re very welcome to join us!

🔎 Beyond Survival: Reconnecting With the Self Behind the Mask
⏲️ 17th December at 6.30pm (UK time)

👉 Register here: www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

13/12/2025

For many ex-boarders, that mask... the one built from self-control, independence, and perfectionism... once protected us.
But over time, it can hide who we really are.

Join me for a free online masterclass to explore how to reconnect with the self behind the mask, and discover gentler ways to feel safe, open, and deeply connected again.

✨ Beyond Survival: Reconnecting With the Self Behind the Mask
📅 17 December · 6.30pm (UK)
🔗 https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

12/12/2025

Many ex-boarders struggle with honesty, not because they want to lie, but because truth felt risky.

At school:
• there was nowhere to hide
• no parent to turn to
• no escape from the consequences
• no emotional safety

So the child learned to protect themselves through evasiveness.
Keep your head down. Avoid being caught out. Tell people what they want to hear.

These patterns can persist for decades, even in loving relationships.

If this resonates, you’re not alone... and you’re not broken.
Your nervous system is simply doing what it learned to do.

In the December masterclass, we’ll look at how to gently unlearn these patterns and replace them with genuine connection.
🔗 www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

11/12/2025

So many ex-boarders tell me they don’t understand why certain patterns keep showing up in their relationships, even after years of trying to change them.

The truth is, those reactions didn’t start in adulthood.
They began in childhood, when we built a ‘mask’ to cope with early separation, emotional overwhelm and the need to stay safe.

In this carousel, I’m sharing a glimpse into how that mask formed and why it still shapes our emotional world today.

If this resonates, I’m running a free masterclass where we’ll explore these survival strategies in more depth, and how to reconnect with the self behind the mask.

December 17th - 6:30pm (UK time)
🔗 www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

10/12/2025

Partners of former boarders often say the same thing:

“He’s so dismissive.”
“She shuts me down.”
“It feels like nothing I say gets through.”

Dismissiveness isn’t apathy. It’s fear.

Because if one belief is challenged… then another might follow.
And if enough “bricks” loosen, the whole survival wall built so carefully at school might fall.

That wall once kept you safe.
But in adulthood, it keeps you distant.

Understanding this pattern is the first step in changing it.
And changes are possible.

We’ll explore this fully in the 17 December masterclass.

🔗 www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

08/12/2025

Boarding school demands that children develop a “survival personality” a mask that keeps them safe.

It often includes rules like:
• don’t show weakness
• don’t trust closeness
• don’t rely on anyone
• don’t cry
• handle everything alone

At the time, it works.
It keeps the child protected, capable, even impressive.

But as adults, those rules stay in place long after the danger has passed. The mask becomes so familiar that many ex-boarders don’t even realise it’s there.

Relationships are often the first place where cracks begin to show... where someone finally says “I can’t connect with you behind that armour.”

The good news: the mask can soften. You can reconnect with the true self underneath.

We’ll talk about how in the free masterclass on 17 December.
🔗 www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

06/12/2025

One of the most common traits I see in former boarders is excessive independence.

It looks admirable from the outside: capable, organised, self-contained.

Inside, it often comes from one message learned very early:
“No one is coming. Don’t need anyone.”

When you’re eight years old and left in a long corridor with polished floors and no parents in sight, your nervous system adapts. You learn not to rely on others. You stop asking for help. You become hyper-independent.

Later on, this can quietly damage relationships.
Partners notice the emotional distance.
Children feel shut out.

And the ex-boarder feels confused about why closeness is so difficult.

In my masterclass on 17 December, we’ll explore how to let go of over-independence without losing the strength that helped you survive.
🔗 www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

05/12/2025

So many former boarders grow up believing that what happened at school was simply ‘normal’. But the real impact often shows up years later, not in classrooms, but in their closest relationships.

Partners often describe the ex-boarder as:
• defensive
• conflict-avoidant
• dismissive
• evasive
• terrified of emotional honesty
• disappearing when things get difficult

These aren’t character flaws. They are survival strategies learned young, in an environment where vulnerability wasn’t safe.

If this feels familiar, in yourself or in someone you love, you’re not imagining it.

And it is possible to soften these old patterns.

I’ll be diving deeper into this in my free masterclass on 17 December:
Beyond Survival: Reconnecting with the Self Behind the Mask

🔗 www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

30/08/2025

This group programme will help you understand better why your ex-boarder husband has so much trouble expressing his emotions and being intimate with their you. You'll discover how boarding school shapes the child's character and you'll learn some new tools to make it easier to reach him.

28/08/2025

Nick and Sally* met when they were still at school. It was great to start with, but as time went by the cracks started to show. Sally was away at boarding school most of the year so they couldn’t see each other for weeks on end. Then the holidays arrived and cramming so much into those few weeks m...

27/08/2025

Only five days till we start The Bridge Back to Us

So if your man went to boarding school and sometimes it feels like hugging a suit of armour...

Click the link to find out how to soften the steel

This group programme will help you understand better why your ex-boarder husband has so much trouble expressing his emotions and being intimate with their you. You'll discover how boarding school shapes the child's character and you'll learn some new tools to make it easier to reach him.