Men's Advisory Project

22/11/2025

Josh Newbury MP has spoken to the House of Commons about facing r**e.
He did so to break the silence endured by men who face s*xual trauma. We want to really thank him for his bravery in speaking out in order to help and encourage other men who may be suffering in silence to get help.

We know many men and boys have faced s*xual abuse and r**e and over the years we have made space for many hundreds of these men to feel comfortable to speak about the impact of what has happened to them.
Males make up 24% of those who haved reported s*xual crimes to the PSNI in the last year and we know this is only a small proportion of the men and boys impacted.
We also know that there are many specific reasons why men do not want to speak about what a s*xual abuser did to them. We would say that we are here and we will list other specialist agencies who can also help.

If this has happened to you and you need help and support please contact Domestic & Sexual Abuse Helpline for 24hr support.
Police Service of Northern Ireland
The Rowan Sexual Assault Referral Centre
RapeCrisis Northern Ireland
Nexus
The Rainbow Project

20/11/2025

Surviving domestic abuse should one day lead to a beginning of something safe and filled with love.

20/11/2025

💙 When you’re healing from domestic abuse:

Beginning a new relationship, one safe step at a time

Starting a new relationship after surviving domestic abuse isn’t simple but it shouldn’t have to be. Healing doesn’t follow a straight line, and moving forward takes a lot of courage many people will never see or understand.

If you’re a man taking those first steps, here are some gentle reminders to keep you safe and to carry with you:

1️⃣ You’re allowed to take things slowly
After control, fear, manipulation, isolation or lovebombing in your past you might be guarded and you might find it very hard to let that guard down. That’s okay. Let the pace feel right for you, not for anyone else.

2️⃣ Your boundaries matter
Healthy partners respect your “no,” they make your space, and your need for clarity, a priority. A survivor’s boundaries aren’t a burden, they’re a sign of growth away from the traumas thry have faced and are vital in any healthy relationship.

3️⃣ You don’t have to hide your story
Share your past if and when you feel safe enough. The right partner won’t shame you or question your experiences. They’ll listen, honour it and you, and hold your feelings with care.

4️⃣ Notice how the new relationship makes you feel
Do you feel equal? Seen? Respected? Safe? Healthy love doesn’t create knots of anxiety in the pit of your stomach, it creates room for you to breathe. (This can sometimes be confusing too as sometimes we read the excitement and nervousness of a new relationship incorrectly as the anxiety or fear we used to feel. If you feel anxiety or fear with a new partner consider the situation and all the triggers you might have experienced. Think carefully about the words used and the body language attached. If it is too much for you put the breaks on and ask for some help to process your prior relationship. Better to be safe and supported)

5️⃣ Healing doesn’t have to be done alone
Talking to someone you trust: friends, counsellors, specialists in support services can all make it easier to separate the past harm and trauma you faced from the present hope. You deserve support just as much as anyone else.

6️⃣ You are not defined by what was done to you
Being a male survivor doesn’t make you broken or marked. It makes you a man who endured, survived, and is now being able to choose something better.

7️⃣ It’s okay to be hopeful again
Allow yourself small moments of trust. Small moments of peace. Small moments of connection. Start to build small hits of happiness into your day. Healing is built slowly, relationship by relationship, choice by choice.

💬 To every man rebuilding their life after abuse:
You deserve love that never hurts.
You deserve a relationship rooted in safety, respect, and mutual care.
And you don’t ever have to navigate this alone.

Men’s Advisory Project
Support | Strength | Healing for Men

20/11/2025

We attended and spoke on behalf of the men we support at a really good domestic abuse conference held by the Belfast Trust today.
These posters will now be in every hospital building, to ensure ALL victims of abuse now know there is specialist care available to them 24/7
Well done Joel
Belfast & Lisburn Women's Aid AssistNI Domestic & Sexual Abuse Helpline The Rainbow Project Health and Social Care NI Police Service of Northern Ireland BASW Northern Ireland

19/11/2025

Happy International Men's Day

We have spent this week attending events and speaking about the needs of men and boys who use our services.

We are so incredibly proud to know you all and to be allowed to walk alongside you for as long as it takes.

Have a brilliant day!

16/11/2025

💬 Let’s talk: Practical ways to support men’s mental health

At the Men's Advisory Project, we know that men benefit from our being brave enough to hold stronger and more deliberate conversations with them.

We know that everyday check-ins can make a big difference, especially for men who may be struggling in silence.

👀 Spot the Signs

Changes in mood, withdrawal from work mates and colleagues, an increased irritability, or a drop in work performance can all signal that someone isn’t okay.

Isolation and loneliness often go hand in hand and together they can feel completely overwhelming.
When our mental health takes a dip, reaching out to others can feel like the very last thing we want to do.

That’s why it’s so important to look out for men who suddenly seem distant, withdrawn, or like they’re keeping everyone at arm’s length. These quiet changes can be powerful signals that someone is struggling and may need support, even if they don’t know how to ask for it.

Trust your instincts, if something feels “off,” it’s worth paying attention to it.

🗣️ Start the conversation

You don’t need the perfect words. Try:
• “You haven’t seemed yourself lately is everything alright?”
• "I've hardly clapped eyes on you recently, how are you doing?"
• “I’ve noticed you’ve been under/ or seemed under a lot of pressure. Want to talk about it?”

A quiet moment, a private space, a non-judgmental ear, and genuine care go a long way.

🤝 Connect him to support

Sometimes just knowing where to turn can make all the difference.
Encourage your colleague to reach out to support services, including MAP or Men's Action Network NI, Lifeline, Samaritans Northern Ireland and look on Public Health Agency for support and offer to help him make that first step toward help.

No one should face their struggles alone.

Let’s work together to break the silence for this International Men's Day, open up conversations, and support the men in our workplaces and communities. 💙

14/11/2025

💙INTERNATIONAL MEN'S DAY

This International Men's Day we’re asking every company and organisation to pause for a moment… and truly see the men who work beside you every day.

See the man who shows up early and leaves late because home no longer feels safe.
See the man who laughs off bruises he can’t explain.
See the man who has been told, again and again, that “men can’t be victims" or "dry up"
See the man who is terrified no one will believe him.

Because he exists. And he might be in your workplace, right now, suffering in silence.

This year, we’re urging workplaces to do something powerful something that could change, or even save, a life:

👉 Hold an event acknowledging male victims of domestic abuse.
👉 Share real stories. Offer real support. Bring in real resources.
👉 Let men know that if they’re hurting, they are not invisible. Not weak. Not alone. Not worth less.

For too long, male victims have hidden behind fear, shame, stigma and wilful inequalities.
For too long, society has told them to “man up” instead of reaching out and offering a hand or ear.

International Men’s Day should mean something.
This year
💙Let it mean safety.
💙Let it mean understanding.
💙Let it mean hope.

Stand with the men who need it most, the ones who feel they can’t ask for help.

Always refer to Men's Advisory Project
Police Service of Northern Ireland Domestic & Sexual Abuse Helpline



Emma Little-Pengelly MLA Gordon Lyons MLA Diane Forsythe MLA Jemma Dolan MLA Danny Donnelly - Alliance Connie Egan MLA Cara Hunter MLA Alan Chambers MLA

Men's Advisory Project (MAP) is a registered charity offering help to abused men across all of NI.

14/11/2025

🚨Abused men are suffering in silence and it’s costing them their lives🚨

Too many male survivors of domestic abuse are being pushed to the brink not because they’re “weak,” but because they’re isolated, unheard, and left without the understanding and support they so desperately need.

Abusers often cut men off from everyone and everything. That isolation becomes dangerous quickly. When a man feels completely alone, abuse increases sharply and su***de can start to feel like the only way out.

And the impact doesn’t stop when the abuse does. Trauma physically changes the brain causing depression, anxiety, and emotional shutdown that can overwhelm anyone, especially someone who feels they are entirely without help.

Yet abused men still face a severe lack of funded, visible, adequately equipped support services.

🔴Many men and boys tell us they don’t think help is meant for them.
🔴Many men and boys tell us they feel they won’t be believed.
🔴Many men and boys remain terrified to speak up.

This silence is costing lives.

That’s why safe spaces for men and boys are not optional they are essential and lifesaving.

We call for
👏🏻Spaces where men are believed.
👏🏻Spaces where they’re treated with dignity.
👏🏻Spaces where they can finally say, “This happened to me,” and get the nods of acknowledgement they need and support they deserve.

If you’re a man or boy living with abuse or struggling to cope, please know: your story matters, your pain is real, and you do not have to go through this alone.

The Men’s Advisory Project is a specialist agency. We are staffed with fully trained professionals who are here for you and we will listen.
We will walk beside you until you find your feet again.

Contact MAP on info@mapni.co.uk or 📲02871 160 001/02890 241 929
Always contact Police Service of Northern Ireland on 999 in an emergency or 101at other times
24/7 support from Domestic & Sexual Abuse Helpline
Housing from Housing Executive

Northern Ireland Executive The Executive Office Nuala McAllister MLA Naomi Long Colin McGrath SDLP Órlaithí Flynn MLA Linda Dillon MLA Danny Baker MLA Alan Chambers MLA Equality Commission for Northern Ireland Public Health Agency Health and Social Care NI Phillip Brett MLA

13/11/2025

💙 Raising Awareness: The Importance of Specialist Support for Male Victim-Survivors 💙

Over 60% of the men supported by the Men’s Advisory Project (MAP) in 2024 (672 men) had felt suicidal or attempted su***de within the last two years.
We do not know how many men end or have lost their lives due to domestic abuse and its impact.
This statistic highlights just how vital specialist support is for male victims of abuse to offer support as they process their trauma.

Men and male victims remain one of the most underserved groups when it comes to mental health and dedicated recovery services. Many struggle in silence due to stigma, fear of not being believed, or simply not knowing that help is available. Other male victim survivors tell us they have asked for help and have been ignored or that those helping them had no odea where to begin.

At MAP, fully qualified counsellors and psychotherapists provide specialist therapy that recognises the unique experiences of men who have experienced abuse. Through safe, confidential, and professional support, these men are given the opportunity to process trauma, rebuild self-worth, and move forward in their healing journey.

When we invest in specialist services like MAP, we give men the chance not only to survive, but to truly recover and thrive.

Let’s work together to raise awareness, challenge stigma, and make sure every man knows that help and hope are available.

➡️ Learn more about the Men’s Advisory Project at www.mapni.co.uk

🚨 Northern Ireland Executive do not fund our service.
🚨The Executive Office do not fund services to male victim survivors of abuse.
🚨Health and Social Care NI do not fund our service.
🚨Public Health Agency do not fund our service.


Equality Commission for Northern Ireland Danny Donnelly - Alliance Colin McGrath SDLP Alan Chambers MLA Nuala McAllister MLA Linda Dillon MLA Diane Dodds Órlaithí Flynn MLA Phillip Brett MLA

Men's Advisory Project (MAP) is a registered charity offering help to abused men across all of NI.

12/11/2025

💔 Healing After Abuse: You Are Not Alone 💔

For many men, the pain of domestic abuse goes unseen and unheard. It’s not just bruises, cruel and violent words, control, threats or fear: it is grief.

Grief during and after abuse is something misunderstood and not often spoken about.
Your...
Loss of trust.
Loss of a relationship that once was filled with love
Loss of the future you imagined.
Loss of family.
Desolation where there was once opportunity.

If you’re feeling that pain right now, please know: nothing is wrong with you and you are not weak for hurting. You are human. And you are not alone.

Grief after abuse takes time to overcome. It’s okay to feel angry, numb, confused, or to wonder why you feel so broken. All of these feelings can be part of healing.

Here are a few gentle reminders:

🕊️ Acknowledge your pain.
What you went through matters, and you and your feelings are valid.

💬 Talk to someone you trust.
You don’t have to face this alone. Reaching out can feel difficult and will take some courage but we are told over and over again - it really helps.

💡 Take your time.
Healing isn’t about forgetting. It’s about rediscovering yourself, step by step and rebuilding.

At the Men’s Advisory Project, we’re here to listen, support, and walk beside you without judgment or shame. Every man deserves to feel safe, valued, and heard.

📞 Reach out today: 02890 241929/ 02871 160001
🌐 Learn more:www.mapni.co.uk
📧 info@mapni.co.uk

You are stronger than you know and your story doesn’t end here. 💙

11/11/2025

💬 Get Involved this International Men’s Day, November 19th 🌍

International Men’s Day is a time to celebrate the value men bring to the world, to their families, to their communities and to focus on men’s wellbeing in all its forms.

This year, we’re encouraging men to get involved not just by attending events, but by creating their own.

👥 Host a conversation in your workplace.
❓️Ask your friends what they are doing.
☕ Organise a coffee morning/zoom around men’s mental health.
💡 Share stories of positive male role models in your community.

When men come together to talk, reflect, and support one another, we all benefit.

At the Men’s Advisory Project, we believe that International Men’s Day is about building understanding, challenging stigma, and celebrating masculinity.

👉 Why do you think International Men’s Day is important?

Share your thoughts below we’d love to hear what it means to you and how you’re getting involved this year.

11/11/2025

✨ Why Training Matters in Domestic Abuse Support✨

When someone reaches out for help during or after experiencing domestic abuse, it can be one of the hardest moments of their life. It can also be a very dangerous time. That’s why it’s absolutely vital that staff are well trained, confident, and compassionate in how they respond.

Good training means recognising the signs, understanding risk, and making sure every survivor feels heard, believed, and supported safely. It can truly change and save lives.

We’re so proud of our brilliant coordinator Clare, who already brings years of experience and dedication to her work. Today she’s taking the next step, training to become a fully qualified IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor)!

Your passion and commitment make such a difference, Clare, congratulations and thank you for everything you do! 👏💐