Thomas Elliott Counselling

27/10/2025

I’ve been a counsellor for over 10 years. My 3rd career . Today has been a significant day . One client at the successful end of his journey and has turned his life around all credit to him. On the same day another fellow traveller on the beginning of his journey . Both clients showing courage in sitting with their insecurities and fears .
Both have some degree of neurodiversity that they didn’t understand . It’s always unfortunate that someone has spotted their difference and then used it to fill a hole in themselves to the detriment of someone else . Both clients have been victims of coercive and controlling behaviour and domestic violence.
When outsiders witness this they deal with it lightly . When if the victim had been a woman the perpetrator would have been arrested . Men are victims too . Domestic violence is a power dynamic abused by some regardless of gender .

21/01/2025

https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=1244995&post_id=155239809&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1wmp96&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjoxMTUyNzMwNTAsInBvc3RfaWQiOjE1NTIzOTgwOSwiaWF0IjoxNzM3MzY5MDE3LCJleHAiOjE3Mzk5NjEwMTcsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xMjQ0OTk1Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.kIKfP2NP_dja0c2pBZupdulk7OenxcU_f0BVO8dpjT4

Tributes have poured in for a much-loved and well-respected police officer

20/01/2025

American actor Clint Eastwood, 95, recently delivered a heartfelt speech, saying, "Growing old can be pretty scary, right? You find yourself witnessing everything around you. Your bones don’t move as easily, your eyes feel weary from the light, and your lungs often crave a break from that exhausting breath. But what’s even scarier and more exhausting is reaching ninety and realizing there’s no one you love nearby, listening with a hint of disinterest to your tales filled with imagined heroics. You know they may not care, but you still take joy, like a grandfather, in sharing what you think matters with your grandkids. It’s frightening to be alone when everyone used to seek you out, and after a lifetime of chasing the light, you end up without a family, living in darkness when you really needed someone to guide you toward the light! So, make it a priority to build a family. Chasing fame is like chasing ashes blown away by the wind; it neither ignites a fire nor stays put."

31/12/2024

As the year comes to an end, use these 50 questions as a starting point to explore your achievements and goals

The concept of ‘New Year resolutions’ has been widely studied, including in 2020 research published in the journal PLoS One. In this study, researchers investigated what resolutions people make when they feel free to formulate them, and whether there is an increased likelihood of the resolution's success when information and exercises on effective goal setting is offered. What they found was that participants with approach-oriented goals were significantly more successful than those with avoidance-oriented goals – for example, if the goal was to be healthier, the goal of ‘be more active in daily life’ would be more effective than ‘lose weight’. On top of that, the group who received the support on goal setting were also more successful than those who didn’t. The support they were given? Someone to check in with about their goals, information on coping with hurdles, and additional exercises around their goals.

You may be able to replicate these findings by working with a professional, like a life coach – but you can also take steps to get really intentional about what you want to achieve in the coming year, all by yourself.

We’re creeping ever-closer to the end of 2024 and with it comes the perfect prompt to reflect on where we’re at. It could be in relation to some dreams or goals of yours, or simply your overall state of mind. Whatever it is, making time to intentionally explore what’s going on inside can help us develop a greater understanding of where we are and what we need. So, use these 50 questions to explore the year that’s just past, uncover what is and isn’t working for you, and carve out a plan for the year that’s about to begin.

1. What things are different from last year?
2. What things have remained the same?
3.How would you describe your overall wellbeing right now?
4. What moments from the past year excited you?
5. If you could return to this time last year, what would you do differently?
6. What would you do the same?
7. List three achievements from the past year that you’re proud of.
8. What were some of the personal challenges that you faced this year?
9. What was the best thing you learned this year?
10. How do you feel about your physical health?
11. How do you feel about your mental health?
12. What can you do now that you couldn’t do this time last year?
13. What were some of the happiest moments from the past year?
14. How do you feel about your relationships?
15.What were some of the hardest moments?
16. Did you make any new habits?
17. Is there anything you wished you did more of?
18. How do you feel about your relationship with technology?
19. Did anything surprising happen to you this year?
20. Did your relationship with yourself change?
21. What did you overcome?
22. Did you feel stressed often?
23. What new experiences did you have?
24. Did you receive the support that you needed?
25. How do you feel about your work-life balance?
26. What is the main thing you would like to achieve this coming year?
27. What small steps will you take to make it happen?
28. Who in your life offers you the best support?
29. What three things are you passionate about?
30. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
31. What makes you feel excited?
32. How do you best learn new things?
33. What is a dream that you have always had?
34. What do you want to keep the same?
35. What makes you feel drained?
36. How would you like to make an impact on the world around you?
37. What are your best qualities?
38. Are there any habits you would like to break?
39. Who inspires you?
40. Do you have any childhood dreams you’d like to come true?
41. How will you take care of yourself in the coming year?
42. What are the signs that you need to take a break?
43. What things make you feel motivated?
44. How do you work best?
45. What does success look like to you?
46. How do you overcome hurdles?
47. What new experiences are you looking forward to?
48.What makes you feel fulfilled?
49.
How are you going to prioritise joy?
Where do you want to be in a year’s time?
TRENDING

25/11/2024

Our Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer MP, said “healthy, happy children is not a nice to have, it’s a basic right”. We couldn’t agree more, so now it’s time for the Government to turn words into actions. Find out how we’re asking him to make the world less heavy for young people Earning y...

15/03/2024

25/01/2024

Survivors’ Voices Matter. 💜

We cannot state enough the impact that child abuse has on individuals, both as a child and going forward into adult life.

The UK government implementing recommendations from the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse is absolutely vital for helping survivors and future generations to come. This country is simply not doing enough to safeguard and care for those exposed to abusive situations.

We will continue to amplify survivor stories, spread awareness, and stand united against child abuse, maintaining our commitment to Act on IICSA. We’re working for a world where every child can grow up in safety and security. 🌍

28/03/2023

Anyone can experience the symptoms of a mental health difficulty, it can be genetic or brought about by extremes of emotional stress, for example. A symptom of mental illness can be thoughts or feelings that are difficult to deal with, or that prevent a person from getting on with life as usual. In severe cases, individuals may think about self-injuring, or may actually injure themselves, if they are finding life situations too difficult to deal with.

Mental ill health affect an individual’s thoughts and feelings and change how they view the world. Some feelings associated with mental ill health are:

anxiety
hopelessness
low self-esteem
sadness
These feelings affect an individual’s mental well-being and stop their ability to carry on with normal life. At a point where these feelings become more intense, occur over a long period of time, or affect the way a person normally lives, a doctor may make a diagnosis of a ‘mental health problem’. In some cases, the problems are only temporary and the individual can recover. In other cases, individuals can experience severe and enduring mental ill health which may require long-term treatment.

12/01/2023

"We Indians know about silence. We are not afraid of it. In fact, for us, silence is more powerful than words. Our elders were trained in the ways of silence, and they handed over this knowledge to us. Observe, listen, and then act, they would tell us. That was the manner of living.

With you, it is just the opposite. You learn by talking. You reward the children that talk the most at school. In your parties, you all try to talk at the same time. In your work, you are always having meetings in which everybody interrupts everybody and all talk five, ten or a hundred times. And you call that ‘solving a problem’. When you are in a room and there is silence, you get nervous. You must fill the space with sounds. So you talk compulsorily, even before you know what you are going to say.

White people love to discuss. They don’t even allow the other person to finish a sentence. They always interrupt. For us Indians, this looks like bad manners or even stupidity. If you start talking, I’m not going to interrupt you. I will listen. Maybe I’ll stop listening if I don’t like what you are saying, but I won’t interrupt you.

When you finish speaking, I’ll make up my mind about what you said, but I will not tell you I don’t agree unless it is important. Otherwise, I’ll just keep quiet and I’ll go away. You have told me all I need to know. There is no more to be said. But this is not enough for the majority of white people.

People should regard their words as seeds. They should sow them, and then allow them to grow in silence. Our elders taught us that the earth is always talking to us, but we should keep silent in order to hear her.

There are many voices besides ours. Many voices…”

-Ella Deloria

01/01/2023

May the new year bring out the best life in you all. I pay homage to my clients past and present and everyone else who have shown courage and bravery in dealing with difficult and challenging times . The power is within us all we just have to find it.