Talkwell Counselling Service

Talkwell Counselling Service Counselling Service in Birmingham

20/02/2026

Do you believe in yourself??

11/02/2026

Shame is deep rooted and needs to be addressed with care.

08/02/2026

How comfortable are you with being vulnerable??

05/02/2026

Stuck in the spiral of “do they like me… or am I overthinking again?” 👀 The mixed signals, the replaying texts, the tiny signs that feel huge — you’re not alone. Sometimes it’s less about decoding them and more about checking in with what you actually want, need, and deserve. Let’s talk about it.

01/02/2026

Impostor syndrome (also called impostor phenomenon) is not a mental health diagnosis. It describes a persistent pattern of doubting one’s competence and fearing being exposed as a fraud, despite objective evidence of ability or achievement.

The term was first described in 1978 and remains widely used in psychology, education, and workplace research.

Source:
Clance & Imes, The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women (1978)

Core features

People experiencing impostor syndrome typically:
• Attribute success to luck, timing, or external factors
• Discount positive feedback or achievements
• Hold unrealistically high internal standards
• Fear being “found out” as inadequate
• Feel relief rather than pride after success

These patterns are cognitive and emotional, not a reflection of actual ability.

What contributes to it

Research identifies several contributing factors:
• Early family dynamics
Conditional praise, high expectations, comparison, or inconsistent validation.
Source: Clance, The Impostor Phenomenon (1985)
• Social and cultural context
Higher prevalence in people facing stereotype threat, marginalisation, or role incongruence (e.g. women, ethnic minorities, first-generation professionals).
Source: Steele, Stereotype Threat (1997)
• Perfectionism and fear of failure
Particularly maladaptive perfectionism linked to chronic self-doubt.
Source: Hewitt & Flett (1991)
• Attachment and self-worth patterns
Self-value tied to performance rather than inherent worth.
Source: Mikulincer & Shaver, Attachment in Adulthood (2007)

How it commonly shows up
• Overworking to “earn” legitimacy
• Procrastination followed by intense effort
• Avoiding visibility, promotion, or new opportunities
• Anxiety before evaluations or praise
• Difficulty internalising success

What it is not
• It is not low intelligence or incompetence
• It is not the same as low self-esteem
• It does not reliably decrease with more success

25/01/2026

How it often shows up in relationships
• Seeking partners who are emotionally unavailable or controlling
• Testing partners for commitment or protection
• Difficulty feeling “chosen,” secure, or supported
• Power struggles or withdrawal when vulnerability is required

Why it’s difficult to name
• Cultural norms often excuse paternal emotional absence
• Fathers may have been providers but not emotionally attuned
• The wound often shows up as self-doubt or anger, rather than sadness

This can make it easier to externalise or minimise.

Healing focus (evidence-aligned)

Approaches commonly used in therapy include:
• Attachment-focused therapy
• Schema therapy (e.g., defectiveness, abandonment, unrelenting standards schemas)
• Parts work / inner child work
• Reworking internal authority and self-validation

Source: Young et al., Schema Therapy (2003)

A grounded reframe

The father wound is less about the father you had
and more about the guidance, protection, or affirmation you didn’t receive — and learned to generate alone.

18/01/2026

Do you carry the mother wound? The mother wound is less about what your mother did wrong
and more about what you didn’t get — and learned to live without.

15/01/2026

Anxious? Try these tips to help your nervous system calm down and regulate again. And no i dont just talk about breathing there are specific pointers to help -links in bio if you want 1:1 support on this via therapy😉

13/01/2026

Angry?.. try these tips😉

11/01/2026

Seasons are like life stages. Which one are you living in right now? Which is your favourite season- life stage and why?

  less negative
06/01/2026

less negative

Stop, pause, breathe, feel, release, move on
28/12/2025

Stop, pause, breathe, feel, release, move on

Address

Birmingham
B130JE

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

+447447879459

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