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Sarah O’Callaghan Therapy

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Boldon
Sarah O’Callaghan Therapy

Accredited CBT and EMDR psychotherapist
Parental Burnout Specialist
North East and Nationwide

08/03/2026

🍾🎉Celebrating the end of 22 years of NHS service this weekend and feeling mixed emotions as I reflect on the many places I’ve worked and roles I’ve had - while also excited to step fully into self-employment.

From a part-time role in pathology labs while finishing my first degree, to care work with people with complex disabilities, training as a mental health nurse, working in forensics and children’s services, and stepping into clinical leadership - before returning to university a third time to train as a therapist. Each of these roles has shaped me and made me the therapist I am today.

Over the last two years I’ve been building my own private practice alongside NHS work. As demand has grown, I’ve learned that doing both isn’t sustainable. Burnout has been real, but it has also allowed me to save enough to take on this next project — though I know too well how working at this level can be harmful.

On this International Women’s Day, I’m taking a moment to practice what I preach. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, excited to step into a new adventure: , and looking forward to what comes next. My existing work and clients will transfer to the new premises, where we’ll continue offering therapy alongside a wider range of support through our amazing associates.

Change can feel daunting, but it’s also the space where growth happens — and I’m ready for it. 🌿

16/02/2026

If you’re a perfectionist mum, you probably don’t experience parenting as “doing your best”.

You experience it as carrying the responsibility for how everything turns out.

For their confidence.
For their emotional wellbeing.
For their friendships.
For their future.

And when your brain assumes “If something goes wrong, it will be because I missed something”, parenting stops feeling like guidance… and starts feeling like risk management.

In CBT, we call this responsibility bias — a thinking pattern where we overestimate how much control we have and how much blame we would carry if things aren’t perfect.

It doesn’t mean you care too much.
It means your mind is treating parenting like a system that must be optimised, monitored, and protected at all times.

No wonder you feel exhausted.

If this resonates, you’re not alone — and this is very workable in therapy.

💬 Tell me in the comments: do you tend to overthink decisions before they happen, or replay them after?

📩 Or message me if you want support with perfectionism, parenting anxiety, or the mental load that comes with trying to get everything “right”.

15/02/2026

Nothing like a four-month gap in blogging to show I’m a very busy, very imperfect parent! 🙈

I’m back with some reflections on pre-teens and tricky feelings- those moments that are messy, emotional, and very real.

Recently, my son reached his limit at rugby after weeks of being bullied. We acknowledged his frustration and how overwhelming it felt for him, but we were also firm that lashing out isn’t acceptable, and there were clear consequences.

Finding the balance between understanding their emotions and holding boundaries is one of the hardest parts of parenting at this stage.

We’ve known the benefits of this approach for years. From my experience as a former eating disorder nurse, calm but firm, direct but nurturing, boundaries paired with compassion have always worked. It’s not about terminology or trends- it’s about consistency, empathy, and modelling resilience, even on the messy days.

Just in time for Children’s Mental Health Week, a reminder that showing up, setting limits, and supporting our children through big feelings really matters.

💛 I’d love to know if any of this resonates with you - let me know what you think! Link in bio and on stories.

29/01/2026

These are things I hear all the time in therapy — the “Hall of Fame” of parent thoughts:

💭 “I’ve always been a worrier — it’s just who I am.”
Worry is a coping mechanism, not a personality type. Your brain is just trying to keep everyone safe.

💭 “It’s easier if I just do it myself.”
Taking control feels efficient, but it’s exhausting. Delegating is self-care, not weakness.

💭 “Other people have it worse.”
Comparing yourself silences your own struggles. Your feelings matter.

💭 “Am I damaging them?”
Occasional frustration doesn’t define you. Repairing and reflecting is what counts.

💭 “I need to try harder next time.”
Perfectionism traps you. Growth comes from learning and compassion- not self-punishment.

💭 “If I don’t plan/do everything, I’ve failed them.”
You’re human. You cannot control everything — and you don’t have to.

💭 “I must be selfish for needing a break.”
Breaks aren’t selfish. They recharge your brain and your patience and arguably make you a better parent because of it.

💭 “My partner doesn’t listen, they just try to fix it.”
Sometimes you don’t need solutions. You just need to be heard.

💛 You’re human. You’re doing enough.

If these feel familiar, therapy can help you feel lighter while still being the parent you want to be.

📩 DM me or visit my website in 🔗 — the struggle can be temporary

28/01/2026

Perfectionist mums often hold themselves to impossible standards: calm, patient, and “getting it right” every moment. But when your child cries or pushes your limits, your body reacts faster than your mind can manage. That sigh, snap, or raised tone you regret isn’t a moral failing — it’s your nervous system doing its job.

In therapy, we’ll explore how this perfectionism shows up in your parenting and help you:

👉Understand why your nervous system reacts before your mind catches up.

👉Notice and interrupt rumination loops that leave you exhausted and guilty.

👉Separate your intentions from the inevitable “messy moments” of parenting.

👉Recognise how societal expectations and generational patterns shape your parenting beliefs.

👉Learn strategies to respond with connection, not self-criticism.

👉Rebuild confidence in your ability to parent with warmth and presence.

You don’t have to be perfect to be a good parent — you just need guidance, awareness, and support. Therapy can help you feel more calm, confident, and present, even on the hardest days. 💚

CBTforMums SelfCompassion NervousSystemAwareness ParentingWithoutPerfection

27/01/2026

Being a perfectionist parent often comes from the best of intentions. We want our children to have everything we felt we missed, or to avoid repeating mistakes from our own childhood. We work hard, plan meticulously, and try to do everything “right.”

But children don’t experience perfection the way we intend. They notice the stress, the self-criticism, and the pressure we place on ourselves. Often, they interpret it as: “I need to be perfect too,” “Mistakes aren’t safe,” or “Love depends on getting it right.”

The truth is, perfectionism doesn’t make us better parents — it can slowly shape how children see themselves and the world. Showing our mistakes, modelling self-compassion, and emphasising effort over flawless outcomes teaches something far more valuable: It’s okay to be human. We can make mistakes and still be loved.

Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, authenticity, and connection. Softening our grip on “perfect” isn’t failing our children — it’s giving them the greatest gift: a model for resilience, self-acceptance, and confidence.

Struggling to put this into practice? Drop me a DM or visit link in bio to have free enquiry call this week 📞

25/01/2026

I was listening to Ant and Dec on talk about parenting and Dec said he read the books because he really wanted to get it right.

And I just thought… yeah. That’s so many parents.

Most parents I work with aren’t doing nothing — they’re trying really hard. Reading, listening, following all the advice. And there is lots of good guidance out there.
But guidance isn’t a rule book.

It’s not saying:

“If you ever lose your patience, you’ve ruined everything.”
Or:
“You must never do it differently again.”

Knowing what you’re meant to do and being able to do it in real life — when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and triggered — are two very different things.

So many perfectionist parents are incredibly harsh on themselves for not doing things ‘by the book’. But changing patterns is hard. We don’t come into parenting as blank slates — we bring our own experiences, beliefs, and baggage with us.

And having kids brings up stuff we didn’t even know was there.

So if you’re thinking, “I know what I should be doing, but I can’t always do it” — that doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re human.

Parenting isn’t about getting it right all the time.

It’s about noticing, repairing, and being a bit kinder to yourself when it feels hard 🤍

Therapy helps you uncover what’s stopping you feeling like you aren’t doing enough- whether it’s engrained beliefs from earlier life experiences, working on self compassion, emotional regulation or experimenting with ways in which you previously dare not try for fear of failure….

To chat further about what’s holding you back and how to make the changes DM me or book a consultation call via my website in link in bio 📧

24/01/2026

💜 Perfectionism isn’t about doing better than anyone else

For many parents, it’s the voice inside saying:
“If it’s not perfect, it’s unsafe or unacceptable.”

It’s a learned safety strategy — a way your brain and body have tried to keep you safe. But it comes at a cost: constant tension, guilt, and the feeling that nothing is ever enough.

The goal isn’t working harder or doing better. It’s learning you can lower the bar and still feel safe, loved, and good enough.

📞If you’d like support with perfectionism and parenting, visit the link in bio for a free consultation call.

23/01/2026

I’m profoundly grateful for my core training and university education. Two degrees, postgraduate training, and a range of further therapeutic trainings — EMDR, ACT, CBT, and even Parental Burnout Practitioner certification — would suggest I’m a decent bet for anyone looking for therapy.

But what’s really shaped me as a therapist isn’t my qualifications or academic ability — it’s the work I’ve been doing for 22 years.

Starting as a support worker after my first degree, I worked with people with physical disabilities, learning the subtle nuances of human connection and communication. I supported children with major mental health disorders and their distraught families, managed escalating situations, and learned how to hold people in their most desperate moments.

Leadership roles in healthcare and therapy training have refined my approach, but the core of what makes me effective was forged in those early years of front-line work.

The lesson I bring into every session is simple: therapy works because of connection, communication, and trust. That’s my hill — the therapeutic relationship is everything.

My qualifications matter, but it’s the experience I’ve gained over decades that allows me to truly see, hear, and hold the people who come to me.

I do therapy differently to how it’s taught. It’s not traditional — but it’s ethical, human, and accessible.

11/11/2025

💜 MUMS! 💜

If I had a £ for every time someone mentions guilt as an overwhelming emotion day to day with their little ones I’d be a very rich woman!

But I’d be a millionaire if I had a £ everyone mentioned guilt when they REST 💵

We are so deeply conditioned to see rest as laziness… often through our own upbringing through caregivers not having awareness of their own dysregulated nervous systems.

You’ve learned to equate your worth with productivity, and slowing down feels unsafe- even if logically you know you are safe.

But your nervous system can’t heal in motion.
Rest isn’t a luxury — it’s maintenance.

Here’s what I’d focus on if you’re finding it hard to stop:
🧠 Notice the guilt without judging it
☕ Reframe rest as maintenance, not reward
🌿 Start micro — 5–10 minute pauses count
💛 Notice the difference it makes
🫶 Give yourself daily permission to rest

You don’t need to earn your downtime.
You need to allow it.

✨ The goal isn’t to do more — it’s to feel safe doing less.

29/10/2025

💥 Are you being judged? Or are you judging you? 💥

Some days it feels like you’re juggling a million things just to prove you’re coping. Checking, planning, tidying and overthinking… all because you’re worried someone might judge you.

Resting, asking for help, or letting things be a little messy doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human. 💛

You are already enough — even if the house isn’t perfect, the laundry isn’t done, or the to-do list keeps growing.

✨ Take a breath, let go of the invisible weight, and remember: you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You’re doing enough.

Address

Quadrus Business Centre
Boldon
NE359PF

Opening Hours

Monday	9am - 5pm
Wednesday	9am - 5pm
Thursday	9am - 8pm
Friday	9am - 5pm

Telephone

+447859095020

Website

http://www.sarahocbt.co.uk/

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