24/10/2025
Here’s something that being a single mum of boys has taught me…
Apart from the fact that I’ve clearly produced some good-looking kids (I may be biased, 😂).
My youngest doesn’t really like being out there on social media, hence, no pic of him.
Nature vs nurture really showing here, ha ha.
1) They’ve been my biggest mirror. You want to find out what all your issues are? Have kids 😂
2) They’ve shown me how deep my wound runs around feeling understood, heard, or valued - and that the size of my reactions says more about my pain than the moment itself.
3) I’ve learned that when I speak with strong emotion, it can sound like anger to someone who’s not comfortable with big feelings. So I’ve had to learn how to soften (still takes work) without silencing myself.
4) They’ve revealed to me, as I’ve taught them to be emotionally intelligent and have an opinion, exactly when I’m being a hypocrite and which parts of me still need work.
5) They’ve made me face my old beliefs about men, because what I believe will filter through to them - even if I never say it out loud.
6) They’ve taught me that fear activates control, and control activates suppression in someone else (almost always ends up coming out sideways). And that learning the difference between fear and healthy boundaries is everything.
7) They’ve shown me what triggers my nervous system and what soothes it, and that regulating myself matters more than running from discomfort.
8) They’ve reminded me to forgive myself - as long as I take accountability and keep trying to do better (you will mess up in parenting more times than you can count, it’s how you come back from it that matters).
9) They’ve also shown me that yes, women have it hard - but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for men. There are so many confusing messages about what and how men should be, and a lot of man-bashing and negativity.
Change won’t come from shaming men into doing better. While it’s important to call for change, it’s just as important to make sure we’re not adding to the problem by tearing them down.
What have your kids (or relationships) taught you? 👇🏽
