Kate Barker - Civil Funeral Celebrant

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Kate Barker - Civil Funeral Celebrant

I am a professional Civil Funeral Celebrant based in Leeds and West Yorkshire. My role is to create unique funeral ceremonies tailored to you.

21/11/2025

I'm very proud to say that I have a career not just a job.

19/11/2025

In October 2015, I took my NOCN Level 3 Qualification with Civil Ceremonies Ltd. The whole process was full-on in the extreme – from the application (which was a simple yes or no) to the distance learning and then the week-long course where we were carefully assessed during every part of the process. The week culminated in two written exams – pass or fail. Just so you know, I got 86% and 77%! Since then, I took three top up qualifications – Advanced Tribute Writing, Interviewing the Bereaved and Baby & Child Funerals – which means I am qualified as an Advanced Practitioner.

Ten years ago today, I led my very first ceremony. I can still remember standing at the front of Lawnswood sternly saying to myself “Don’t let them know this is your first funeral. LOOK CALM.” My heart rate – beating at around 130bpm – told me I felt anything but calm.

Time has flown by. Since then, I hit a bump in the road with menopause. Another bump – for everyone – was Covid which threw up so many challenges. But I have plugged away because the role I have is a very special one and I’m lucky that I have a job that I love.

Over these years, I have been privileged to lead a handful of ceremonies for my own family. Some of my clients have been existing friends (and I thank you for your trust and support). But I’ve also met countless, interesting, engaging families who entrust to me the most precious thing they have. Their memories. They hand these to me hoping – no, expecting – that I will write and deliver a ceremony that reflects the life of their loved one. When I lead a ceremony, my number one wish is for people to recognise the person I’m talking about. I don’t want to stand at the front of a chapel reading words by rote (and we’ve all been to those sorts of funerals). I want the character to shine through. So, thank you to all the families I have worked with in the last ten years who have trusted me. And, if I’ve learned anything in this last ten years, whenever a family says, “Oh, everyone was like that back then,” I can confidently say, “Not everyone was”.

07/11/2025

I led two funerals today - both for ladies who took great pride in their appearance. The first lady was more traditional. The second one had more sass. You gotta raise your footwear game on days like this!! Have a great weekend everyone!!

05/11/2025

I have received this wonderful feedback from a client. Pardon me for being big headed but I'm sharing it anyway! I led my client's dad's ceremony nearly 9 years ago and I was, of course, honoured to be asked to lead his mum's ceremony yesterday. (By the way, in this job I'm used to people saying they hope they don't see me for a long time. Honestly, no offence is ever taken.....!)

“Kate, yet again, you pulled off a perfect celebration for my dear mother. I would never have asked - nor would my late mum have expected - anyone else but you worked your magic as I knew you would!

How can I thank you enough? You provided - not once but twice - a perfectly orchestrated and delivered send off. I have no words other than thank you so much, for everything you have done to make my mum's send-off nothing short of perfect. I have deep respect for you, your services and your humility.

I'll watching your journey online, your posts always bring me a warm smile as I know exactly how people need someone like you in their own times of need.

Now, as before, I hope to meet you again - just not too soon in the future ❤️”

22/10/2025

So I don't really ever share photos on here of my family. However I thought I'd share this one which is of my Grandma and Grandpa Barker - my dad's parents. For those who have met me might just spot a family resemblance with my grandma.

21/10/2025

This poem was read at a ceremony I led earlier today. It is called "Rain" and is by Yorkshire's very own Poet Laureate, Simon Armitage. This is for all those people who love hill walking - whatever the weather throws at them.

“Be glad of these freshwater tears,
each pearled droplet some salty old sea-bullet
air-lifted out of the waves,
then laundered and sieved, recast as a soft bead and returned.
And no matter how much it strafes or sheets,
it is no mean feat to catch one raindrop clean in the mouth,
to take one drop on the tongue, tasting cloud-pollen,
grain of the heavens, raw sky.
Let it teem up here,
where the front of the mind distils the brunt of the world.”

16/10/2025

I have only led a handful of natural burials in my 10 years being a celebrant but they are always memorable because, for the 30 minutes or so that the service lasts, we're surrounded by nature and the beautiful Yorkshire countryside. Of course, the weather gods are sometimes unkind but they smiled upon us yesterday for this service I led. In fact, they really did smile upon us because - just as the middle piece of music began - the clouds broke and sunshine warmed us. Tarn Moor, it was lovely to be back and hopefully I'll see you again.

01/08/2025

As it's Yorkshire Day, I decided to treat myself. Thank you to Tiger Lily Floral Art for putting together this beauty!!

27/07/2025

Leading funerals means I do have to dress smartly but conservatively. This weekend my husband and I were invited to a Sikh wedding. Well, you have to rise to the occasion, don't you??! What an amazing experience. And I get to add a bit of sparkle to my attire!

10/07/2025

This definitely isn't available in Leeds but my dad would have requested this, for sure (or should that be 'for shore'.... sorry!) I'd happily have this myself though. Anyone else??

20/06/2025

The following are the words of the actor Mark Rylance when asked how grief has affected him and how does he “recharge his batteries”.

“I feel hollowed out by loss but I don’t feel the need to refill that hollow place. Initially, there is a temptation to drink too much or smoke too much or work too much to try to fill the space with something else. But then you realise that empty spaces can be good. Miles Davis’s trumpet, Jaqueline du Pre’s cello would be nothing without the emptiness inside, carefully carved out by someone.

And, eventually, you realise that emptiness is something you feel comfortable with. This person I adored is gone and now there is a space there – but, in a way, they also live alongside me in spirit. And, if you try to fill that space they left, it won’t work and the effort will wear you out. Better to think of it as a beautiful thing. Again, I think of artists like Miles Davis and John Coltrane, how the air moves through those hollow spaces and makes beautiful music.”

17/04/2025

I love this time of year. Whilst not a gardener by any stretch of the imagination, it's hard not to feel uplifted by the arrival of snowdrops, daffodils, tulips, bluebells and (my favourite) wild garlic. However, a special place is held in my heart for this stunner of a tree at Cottingley Crematorium. The blossom never lasts long so I was very pleased to see it today in all its glory.

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Bramley

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