Self in Mind

06/11/2025

If procrastination leaves you stuck, frustrated and wondering why you can’t “just start” you’re not alone.

Procrastination is rarely about laziness.
It’s about fear, overwhelm, perfectionism or not knowing where to begin.

These five CBT tools can help you take gentle, achievable steps forward, without shame or self-blame.

Start small. Be kind. Keep going.
Change begins with awareness, not pressure.

Which of these CBT tools do you want to try this week? 👇

04/11/2025

30/10/2025

Working with ADHD adults every day, one theme comes up again and again: when self-trust erodes, everything feels harder.

It’s not something that happens overnight.
It builds slowly through small moments where you push down your needs, second-guess yourself, or compare your ADHD brain to everyone else’s.

Here are 7 ways ADHD can chip away at your self-trust (and what to start noticing):
1. Apologising for being yourself – Saying “sorry” for fidgeting, crying, interrupting, or needing space teaches your brain your natural responses are wrong.
2. Comparing your ADHD brain to neurotypical standards – You’re not failing; you’re measuring against systems and expectations that weren’t built with your brain in mind.
3. Ignoring (or missing) body signals – Hunger, tiredness, sensory overload… ADHD often blunts awareness of these cues, so you only notice when it’s already too much.
4. Saying yes when you mean no – That knot in your stomach? That’s your nervous system trying to protect your capacity. Overriding it erodes trust in yourself.
5. Dismissing instincts as “just anxiety” – Sometimes your gut is spot on. Learning the difference between an anxiety spiral and a genuine signal is key to rebuilding trust.
6. Relying on willpower alone – ADHD brains don’t run on sheer effort. Systems, tools, and external scaffolding aren’t cheating… they’re what makes things work.
7. Masking so much you forget who you are – If you’re constantly performing, over time it gets harder to know where the mask ends and you begin.

Self-trust isn’t something you “just get back” overnight.
But each time you respect your needs, hold a boundary, or build supportive structures for yourself, you’re sending a clear message: I can rely on me.

Which of these hits hardest for you right now? Drop it in the comments.

28/10/2025

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) can feel all-consuming.
A glance, a shift in tone, a pause in conversation, and suddenly your mind is flooded with thoughts like:
❌ “They’re upset with me”
❌ “I’ve done something wrong”
❌ “They don’t like me anymore”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. RSD is painful and exhausting, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak or “too sensitive”, it’s how some ADHD and neurodivergent brains are wired.

The strategies in this post are simple but powerful ways to ease the sting of RSD. They’re not quick fixes, but with practice they can help you feel more grounded, supported and in control.

Which strategy stood out to you most? Could you try one this week?

If your RSD feels overwhelming and you’d like support to manage it, therapy can help you build coping tools and strengthen your confidence over time.

23/10/2025

ADHD has a sneaky way of making you doubt yourself.
You start to question your abilities, your motivation, your effort, even your worth.

Every missed deadline, forgotten task or unfinished project can slowly chip away at your self-trust.
Until one day, you stop believing you can do the things you want to do.

That’s where therapy comes in.

My role as a therapist isn’t to tell you what to do, it’s to help you rebuild trust in yourself.
To understand your patterns, your triggers, and the ways ADHD can get in your way.
Then, using CBT and ADHD-informed strategies, we work together to find tools that work with your brain, not against it.

Because when you start to trust yourself again, everything changes.
You begin to see that it was never a lack of willpower, just a lack of the right support.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to be open to starting.

21/10/2025

Be honest… have you ever stared at your to-do list for way too long and still done none of it?

If yes, you’re not alone and you’re definitely not lazy, some ADHD brains are just wired this way.

What can get in the way:
🌀 Overwhelm - everything feels urgent and important at the same time
🌀 Executive dysfunction - deciding where to start can feel impossible, so nothing happens
🌀 Perfectionism - the pressure to “get it right” makes starting feel scary

Try these progress hacks to get things moving again:
✅ Pick just one task and make it tiny. Swap “clean kitchen” for “clear plates from table”
✅ Use external cues - like setting a 5-minute timer, putting on a playlist, or asking someone to body-double with you
✅ Ask for help - someone else will be able to do that task quicker and easier than you can, and they might enjoy it too. Win-win!
✅ Celebrate any step - momentum often comes after you begin, not before

Your list doesn’t have to be conquered in one go. Some days, one tick is more than enough.

Which progress hack will you try first?

17/10/2025

Ever felt wiped out before the day’s even begun, just from choosing what to eat, wear or do first?

That’s decision fatigue. And for ADHD brains, it can feel especially heavy. Every “small” choice uses extra mental energy because your brain is already working hard with focus, memory, emotions and impulsivity.

It’s not a lack of discipline. It’s your brain running on overdrive.

The good news is that there are strategies that can help. From routines and go-to options, to pausing before deciding, to learning how to preserve your energy for what matters most.

I’d love to know, which everyday decisions leave you the most drained? Mine are making dinner, getting to somewhere new, choosing a snack in the shop.

And if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed or exhausted by decision fatigue, reach out. Therapy can help you create ADHD-friendly tools to make life feel lighter.

14/10/2025

Let’s talk dopamine.
It’s not just a “feel good” chemical, it’s a neurotransmitter that regulates attention, reward, and motivation.

Research shows ADHD brains have:

🔬 Lower baseline dopamine levels making it harder to sustain focus and effort
🔬 Altered reward pathways causing gratification to feel uncomfortable
🔬 A drive for stimulation triggering behaviours that “top up” dopamine

This explains why procrastination, distraction, and seeking stimulation can feel so relentless.

If this sounds like you, don't worry. There are small tweaks you can introduce to work with your brain.

CBT tools like breaking tasks into small steps, using visual habit trackers, and designing environments with fewer barriers give your brain consistent dopamine boosts.

Over time, these small shifts help motivation feel steadier, and everyday tasks more achievable.

Struggling with dopamine? Drop me a 🔬 and I'll DM you some practical strategies.

12/10/2025

Really good read:

“For a Black [autistic ADHD] girl, fidgeting might look like taking out her braids and putting them back in — and that’s something research has never been designed to see.”
— Cat Burns

For decades, research has told us what autism and ADHD should look like.

But when those studies are based mostly on white, male, middle-class samples, what happens to the rest of us? 😶‍🌫️

I was diagnosed in my 40’s. After an entire lifetime of being misunderstood and unable to advocate for what I didn’t understand. 🤯

Up to 80% of autistic women and girls remain undiagnosed by age 18.
As an AuDHD woman, my expressions of sensory regulation, masking, and overwhelm become invisible.
💥 Our fidgeting becomes “attitude.”
💥 Our shutdowns become “defiance.”
💥 Our sensitivity becomes “drama.”

This is why we need an intersectional scientific lens — one that doesn’t erase the nuance of culture, identity, and survival.

That’s why I built the AuDHD Women’s Intersectional Scientific Practitioner Programme — to train psychiatrists, therapists, psychologists, coaches, and clinicians to see the whole picture of human neurodivergence, not just the narrow one we inherited.
📖 Explore our “6-week hybrid learning + 4 community circle” programme: https://hub.adhdgirls.co.uk/AuDHD-Women-Intersectional-Scientific-Lens

10/10/2025