Speech Freedom

13/02/2026

“I read your post about fidget aids but in no way would it work with my pupils.”

*

I had this exact conversation with pupils today during a maths lesson.

I noticed that one pupil reaches for the same fidget aid every time they come into my classroom. They use it well. It works for them. They concentrate.

So I asked them whether they use fidget aids in other lessons.

They said they didn’t.

I told them that watching them shows me that having something in their hands helps them focus and concentrate. It clearly works for them. So perhaps it would help elsewhere too.

“But some people make noise with their fidget aids,” one of them said.

And that’s true.

And that’s annoying for pupils.

And it can be annoying for teachers.

So what do we do?

Well, we do what any group of people who all need to get on with each other do.

We talk about it.

I had a pupil with a clicky pen. They liked to click away (very much like Number 3 in my previous post). And I couldn’t concentrate with the clicking happening.

So I paused the lesson and said, can we talk about living together as a class?

I explained that we absolutely should support our sensory needs when they help us regulate or concentrate. That matters. But we also have to meet those needs in a way that works for the people we share the space with.

No one need outweighs another need.

We identify what the needs are.

Then we investigate how we can meet them in a way that works for everyone in the room -including the teacher.

My clicky pen pupil now uses a different fidget aid. One that gives pressure under their thumb. It’s silent. It still gives them the sensory input they need.

It works for the class.
It works for me.
And most importantly, it works for them.

That’s the point.

It isn’t about banning fidgets.

It isn’t about ignoring sensory needs.

It’s about problem solving together.

That’s what inclusion actually looks like.

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️

Photo: Number 3 learning to ski

12/02/2026

Fidget Aids: Finding What Works (And What Doesn’t!)

Fidget aids can be great for some people, but they don’t work the same way for everyone.

Just handing someone a fidget and expecting it to magically help them focus isn’t how it works. It’s trial and error. It’s watching. It’s noticing what genuinely helps and what simply adds another layer of distraction.

Take Number 3, for example.

We tried a fidget spinner to help him concentrate.

It did not go to plan.

Instead of helping him focus, he became completely fixated on the spinner itself. The task he was supposed to be doing? Forgotten. And to make things even more chaotic, he was so amazed by the spinner that he wanted to show everyone just how marvellous it was. Meaning suddenly, nobody was focusing.

Clearly, the spinner wasn’t the right tool for him in moments when he needed to concentrate.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t have one at all.

We agreed he could have his spinner -just not when he had to focus on a task.

That’s the key with fidget aids. They need to be used at the right time, for the right purpose.

The same thing happened with his clicky pen. A multi-coloured pen where you press down to select a colour, making a satisfying little click each time.

Number 3 loved it.

He loved it so much that after finishing an exam, he sat there happily clicking away, having a great time.

Unfortunately, everyone else in the room was still trying to finish their exams.

The lovely exam supervisor (hello Liz! ❤️) told me afterwards that Number 3 really shouldn’t have a clicky pen during a silent exam…

And this is exactly why choosing a fidget aid isn’t as simple as just handing one over and thinking, “There, that’ll fix them.”

Some people use fidget aids for regulation, especially in stressful situations, and that’s great. But not all regulation tools help with focus. Sometimes they block out overwhelming sensory input, which is helpful in some situations but not when someone needs to concentrate on work.

On the flip side, there are fidget aids that genuinely help with focus. But it depends entirely on the person.

That’s why any fidget aid needs to be introduced thoughtfully.

It’s not about letting someone pick whatever they like and hoping for the best. It’s about trying different options, observing what happens, and adjusting as needed.

If a fidget aid helps? Fantastic. Keep using it.

If it doesn’t? No problem. Stop using it and try something else.

The most important part is involving the person using it.

Right from the start, they should understand that the goal is to help them. And if something isn’t working, they get a say in trying something different.

It’s about finding what actually works.

Not just handing someone a random object and hoping for magic.

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️

Photo: Me with straight hair and my beautiful teeny tiny boys.

12/02/2026

One of my clients wanted to learn sign language

10/02/2026

When did coping become pathology?

Increasingly, I am seeing children, particularly neurodivergent children, described as having a “gaming addiction” without the depth of formulation that such a label demands. As clinicians, we should be cautious about pathologising the very strategies that may be keeping a young person psychologically afloat.

Behaviour cannot be understood outside of nervous system state.

Children recovering from autistic burnout, chronic anxiety, or prolonged school distress are not operating from a place of readiness. Their systems are organised around safety. Until safety is re-established, the developmental agenda must shift from participation to stabilisation.

From a clinical standpoint, online gaming can serve profound regulatory functions:

• It introduces predictability into an otherwise overwhelming world
• It restores agency where helplessness has taken hold
• It enables experiences of competence and mastery, often absent elsewhere
• It provides social connection with reduced interpersonal threat
• It creates a low-demand recovery space in which the brain can begin to reorganise

This is not a trivial pastime. For some young people, it is sophisticated self-regulation.

I am currently supporting a child who has been referred for a gaming addiction assessment. Yet a careful formulation tells a very different story: gaming is not replacing a rich life ; it is scaffolding a nervous system that is still in recovery. At present, local services have been unable to identify alternatives that feel neurologically safe or achievable.

If we remove the scaffold before the structure is stable, collapse should not surprise us.

Of course, no clinician is suggesting that a young person’s world should remain permanently confined to a screen. But expansion is only possible once regulation is secure. Attempting reintegration before stabilisation is not therapeutic; it is destabilising.

The work of MindJam, alongside Andy Smith at Spectrum Gaming, has repeatedly highlighted something the field is only beginning to articulate: online spaces can function as legitimate relational environments. Within them, young people can experience belonging, identity formation, collaboration, humour, and trust — all core developmental tasks.

We must therefore ask ourselves an uncomfortable professional question:

Are we sometimes too quick to treat difference as disorder simply because it sits outside our own developmental expectations?

The presence of gaming is not, in itself, evidence of addiction.

A more useful clinical question is:

What would this young person lose if it disappeared tomorrow?

If the answer is community, competence, predictability, and their primary experience of success, then our role is not immediate reduction. Our role is careful, attuned expansion i.e.building a life around the bridge before asking the child to step off it.

Because sometimes gaming is not avoidance.

Sometimes it is adaptation.
Sometimes it is protection.
Sometimes it is recovery.

And good clinical practice begins not with judgement — but with curiosity.

10/02/2026

09/02/2026

09/02/2026

This is genius

I was talking with my friend, who has a quiet brain. He wanted to know what mine is like, and here is what I said:
It is like being dragged along the street by 5 very strong dogs, each on their own leash. 🐶 Each dog is interested in a different thing, all in different directions. One of them is always singing for some reason, sometimes two of them, which gets really confusing. 🥴 They are very loud and it is not possible to quiet your mind, because when you do, the dogs just start loudly barking to each other about not thinking. 😅 Also, when I get hyper-fixated, which is most of the time, it is like all of the dogs saw the same squirrel and went charging down the street with me flying behind. Also, the leashes are permanently attached to my wrist. 🤷🏻
How did I do with this description?💜

08/02/2026

THERE’S JUST OVER 2 WEEKS TO GET YOUR TICKET for my Working with Teens and Adults with Selective Mutism training sessions.
Session 1: Friday 27th February 2026. 2-4.30pm GMT
Session 2: Friday 24th April 2026. 2-4pm GMT

This course consists of a 2.5 hour teaching session, followed up two months later by a 2 hour Q&A session, all for a single fee.

Suitable for professionals with SM experience, and teens & adults with SM and their families.

Aims
•Understand SM in Teens and Adults
•Understand how to develop a Challenge Lifestyle with them
•Understand the support they will need to go through this process
•Get a toolbox of PRACTICAL strategies and ideas
•How to make adjustments to the environment so their needs are met

Testimonials
“Thank you Susannah for helping my 20 year old twin daughters get through University with their Selective Mutism. Susannah has shared her amazing techniques which my daughters now incorporate into their daily life to increase their confidence and achieve any goal. Susannah has proved that anything is possible.”

"The training was enriching. It has re-shaped my approach working with young people with Selective Mutism to effect positive change in their lives."

Two linked interactive training sessions for professionals, teens and adults with SM and their families.

07/02/2026

Have you heard of RSD? Ten years ago no one knew what it was, and now it’s everywhere. I get asked about it all the time. RSD isn’t a diagnosis (even though it sounds like one) and so there are lots of different perspectives out there on it. Different people define it in different ways. Some will tell you that it’s an ADHD symptom (that was what was said originally), while increasingly some people say that they have the exact same experience but are not ADHD.

Rejection sensitivity is a problem for lots of people, including children. It’s when you have an intense reaction to rejection or failure, so strong that it feels like a physical sensation. It can prevent children from trying new things, or from approaching people they don’t know. They don’t want to feel those feelings, and so they make sure that they won’t happen by avoiding the triggers.

The problem is, rejection sensitivity can get worse over time. The more we try to avoid those feelings, the stronger they are when they do get triggered. Life can be dominated by the need to avoid those awful feelings, and we can never avoid all situations where we might get rejected or fail.

In my brand-new webinar, I’ll be diving deep into the psychology of rejection sensitivity. What is it, is it something new and how can we understand what’s going on? I’ll explain how rejection sensitivity shows up, and what parents can do to help their children.

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/helping-your-child-with-rejection-sensitivity-tickets-1982283058991?aff=fb1

Please share with parents who might appreciate it.

04/02/2026

Parents, come and hear how education can be different. for those learners experiencing barriers.

The Haven is a nonprofit online school built for neurodivergent learners who need something radically different, deeply human and individually designed for them. Created by Autistic Girls Network , we KNOW our cohort, and we understand just how important emotional wellbeing and co-regulation is to our learners. Everything we do at The Haven is based on this understanding.

What to expect:

- An intro to Haven’s ethos and approach.
- An outline of how our flexible, high-quality education is delivered through short, focused live sessions.
- Opportunities for Q&A and next steps.

Get your free ticket via the link in the comments 👇