12/11/2025
Why People Struggle to Seek Therapy
Even though conversations around mental health are more open than ever, many people still hesitate to reach out for professional support.
As a therapist, I often hear people say things like, “I should be able to handle this on my own,” or “Other people have it worse.”
But therapy isn’t about weakness it is about understanding, healing, and growth.
So why do so many people hold back from taking that first step?
1. Stigma and Shame
Stigma remains one of the biggest barriers. Some people still see therapy as something for those who are “broken” or “can’t cope,” rather than a healthy and proactive step toward wellbeing.
Cultural expectations, family beliefs, or generational attitudes can reinforce shame about asking for help.
For men in particular, societal norms around strength and self-reliance can make it difficult to show vulnerability.
2. Fear of Judgement or Exposure
Therapy invites honesty and emotional openness, things that can feel daunting.
Many people worry they’ll be judged or that their problems aren’t “serious enough.”
Others fear what might come up in therapy, or who might find out they’re attending. In small communities especially, confidentiality can feel uncertain, even though therapists are bound by strict professional ethics.
3. Financial and Practical Barriers
Cost is a real consideration. Not everyone can afford private therapy, and waiting lists for NHS or charity services can be long.
Practical factors such as work schedules, childcare responsibilities, or lack of transport can also make therapy seem out of reach.
Even finding the right therapist, someone who feels like a good fit, can feel overwhelming.
4. Lack of Awareness or Understanding
Many people simply don’t know what therapy actually involves.
Some imagine lying on a couch while being analysed, or worry they’ll be told what to do.
In reality, therapy is a collaborative, supportive process, a safe space to explore thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.
When people don’t understand this, it is easy to assume therapy “isn’t for me.”
5. Negative Past Experiences
Not every therapy experience feels helpful, and that can understandably discourage people from trying again.
A poor match, a style that didn’t suit, or feeling misunderstood can leave someone believing therapy “doesn’t work.”
But just as we wouldn’t give up on healthcare after one unhelpful appointment, finding the right therapeutic relationship is key, and worth exploring.
6. Cultural or Family Beliefs
In some families and communities, mental health issues are minimised or seen as something to keep private.
Messages such as “just get on with it” or “we don’t talk about those things” can make seeking help feel like a betrayal or a weakness.
Therapy can challenge these long-held messages by creating a space where emotional honesty is valued and validated.
7. Fear of Change
Even when life feels painful or stuck, change can be scary.
Therapy can bring hidden emotions to the surface and challenge patterns that have been in place for years.
It is natural to worry: What if I open up and can’t handle it? What if I change too much?
Therapy moves at your pace, it is about gentle, supported exploration, not forced change.
Encouraging a Shift
Breaking down these barriers begins with open, compassionate conversation.
When we normalise therapy as an act of self-care and emotional education, it becomes more approachable.
Therapists can help by:
• Using clear, human language to describe what therapy is (and isn’t)
• Offering flexible session options where possible
• Sharing information about how therapy works and what to expect
• Encouraging clients to find a therapist who feels right for them
Final Thoughts
Seeking therapy takes courage.
For many people, the first step is simply acknowledging the hesitation and choosing to reach out anyway.
When we continue to demystify and humanise therapy, we make it easier for others to take that first, brave step toward healing.
