Tim Jones

25/10/2021

Free coaching? Yes that’s what I am offering.
If you have a need for coaching on a work related matter or feel you want to achieve some goals in your professional life please read further.

Like most people I am naturally wary of anything for free but in this case it’s about creating a win-win scenario for both of us.

Like most counsellors I have a duty to constantly develop my skills and in this case I am developing my coaching skills building on the experience I have already in doing this in a corporate setting.

I am currently undertaking a Psychological approaches to coaching diploma course that is focused predominantly on coaching within the area of business and professional development. This course uses approaches from transactional analysis, NLP and positive psychology in order to support you in achieving your goals.

Like all qualifications it’s about getting documented hours with clients and this is where we can work together for both our benefits.

To give you some assurance about my practice I am a member of two professional bodies. I am a member of the BACP coaching division and a student member of Association of Coaching. I have supervision as part of this course and I am a member of coaching network within a major corporate organisation where I am undertaking this training.

So if you have goals to achieve or want to work to overcome barriers that are holding you back professionally or just want to move forward at work please send me a message to see if you can work together.

09/08/2020

I am a great believer in the physical and mental health benefits of walking so I now offer the possibility to "Walk the talk" by taking the counselling out of the four walls and into the countryside. For those that do not feel safe to work with a counsellor in a traditional counselling room at this time you may find this an interesting alternative.

Walk the talk is a way of combining counselling and walking together so rather than sitting in a room you can talk about what is going on for you while walking through the great outdoors.

I have a number of different walks using forest paths or parks in the Loughton, Theydon Bois, Buckhurst Hill, Theydon Bois or Epping areas.

I have outlined the benefits of walking in a number of articles that can be found posted previously on my page.

11/05/2020

May I have your attention, please?
The future that you anticipated has been cancelled
Please remain seated and wait for further instructions

When I heard these words being spoken it summed up succinctly how I think most of us are feeling about the relevance of whatever future plans we had.

I think we will all experience some level of anticipatory grief during this outbreak – grieving for something before it has happened. That loss does not necessarily mean a person but maybe a way of life, a career, a job, a relationship, future plans….

Anticipatory grief is a coping mechanism a way of preparing for loss – if you have someone you feel comfortable to talk to about your fears and anxieties do so as it can be helpful to open up and discuss them. You will be surprised how many people are having the same feelings and concerns you are. Alternatively consider writing a journal as writing can help order your thoughts and feelings and for you to gain a deeper understanding of them or look to use mindfulness as a way to identify your thoughts and feelings without judgement.

If the anticipatory grief starts to consistently impact on your life please reach out to get support from your GP, a mental health helpline/charity or a counsellor.

Words at the start are the only lyrics to an OMD track “please remain seated” – spoken in an electronic robot-like female voice.

It is up to you if you remain seated and wait for further instructions – alternatively you could start to feel more in control by looking at what you are losing or fear that will be lost and start to make plans about what you could do about it. I touch on a transition change model in my earlier postings that might be helpful.

07/05/2020

Stop, Look, Listen, Think?

Recent events have meant we are spending more time in the space of those close to us. There are moments when you will annoy each other and whatever the rights and wrongs afterwards this can be a difficult space to live in. Living in your smaller world means even the little things that you used to let go of are magnified in significance. If absence makes the heart grow fonder what does having somebody in your bloody personal space 24x7 make?

Stop, look, listen, think? You will probably associate this with road safety for children, but it can equally apply to any situation where you feel that adrenaline rush in your body as you’re about to explode.

Firstly STOP… Breatheeeeee..exhale… maybe walk away a bit…turn the pressure cooker down a little. LOOK around you and at the other person – ground yourself what really is going on?… LISTEN to what the other person is saying and more importantly what they are really saying… seek clarity to ensure its what you think happened or was said… THINK… so is your response proportionate? Can you respond is a different way that gets your point across? Is it really that important?

06/05/2020

What is one positive thing that as a result of lockdown you have changed or done for the first time that you will take forward in your life?

I am not asking you to share this with me as by asking this question I am looking to engage your positive thinking on aspects of what are and will continue to be a difficult time. We are naturally hard wired to look at the negative, it was necessary for our survival to think the worst, so thinking of what is positive requires a little more effort.

For some people keeping a gratitude diary every day and noting only the positive aspects of that day helps reduce stress levels and bring a greater sense of calm but not all of us have the inclination nor discipline to keep this going but on occasion stopping and thinking about something positive from your day or a situation can help improve your mood and reduce your stress levels.

05/05/2020

“I write to discover what I know”, I love a quote that summaries succinctly a very important point.

Writing can help alleviate stress and anxiety by giving you the opportunity to understand yourself and your internal thought processes at a greater depth. Giving yourself a quiet moment to write down your thoughts and feelings can help bring order to what seems chaos, a deeper understanding of your internal processes and often a re-evaluation of a situation.

Be it a diary, a word document, a notepad or a scrap of paper unleash the power of your written words and take a moment to discover what you know.

13/04/2020

Just one extract from our recent article “Love in a cold climate” from the January 2020 issue of Coaching Today, which is published by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy © BACP

In this article Catherine Noel and myself look at the impact of major change within an organisational and the personal impact for others and for us.

We have explored attachment theory a lot in our writing and discussions and how employee’s individual attachment styles are a consideration when looking at how they relate to the organisation they work for and how major changes can bring this to the fore.

In the following extract I touch on my own personal experience of leading a team through being outsourced earlier in my career.

“The majority of the employees had been with the organisation a long time, and had developed a personal connection to the organisation and with each other.

For each individual, the experience of this situation differed, but for some, it was evident that the stress of the situation triggered attachment behaviour.

From an identity perspective, there was a stronger feeling about the impact on their workgroup identity than their organisational identity. Some of my colleagues were genuinely confused about what they experienced; some felt this as rejection and wanted to understand what they needed to change in order to be ‘accepted’ again, while others were either angry or started to distance themselves.”

12/04/2020

If I updated this message to “What did YOU do during COVID-19?” how would you like to remember this time and what would be your story?

“Daddy, what did YOU do during the great war?” was both brutal and guilt inducing but said to be very effective in changing behavior and worked at a level that challenged a person’s sense of self worth.

While considering the government’s psychological approach to change our behavior and the allusion to being at war I am reminded of the use of this propaganda campaign from the First World War.

My intention is not to induce guilt but for you to use this time for reflection on how you have personally managed in this difficult time.

What did you do for yourself? What did you do for those around you? And what did you do at a wider societal level? And if during this reflection you do feel any guilt take this opportunity to make some changes as only you can change your story.

Remember that following the government guidance is doing your something at a wider societal level, not everybody is in a position to volunteer to help or to work on the front line.

Our wars were fought on the front line and at home and both had a part to play.

It has been interesting for me to see the use of behavioral and social psychology by the government in order to change our behavior in response to this pandemic. It aims to give clear messaging, to try and connect us into a shared identity while respecting our autonomy to make our own decisions and manage our own risks. A very difficult balancing act and some will challenge that some of us should be treated as adults considering how some are responding.

Another theme I have noticed, probably media led, is the invoking of blitz spirit and the drawing of parallels with our supposed stiff upper lip and keep calm and carry on approach to the Second World War. With the Queens speech’s, a PM who admittedly is a big fan of Churchill, a massive appeal for volunteers and politicians and scientists saying we are at war it is easy to see how this leap can be made.

08/09/2019

brings to mind “moderation in all things”. Social media can be a power for good but when it takes your life over and you spend more time living on your phone than in real life it’s time to change.

Comparing yourself and your life to others via social media can be misleading and can impact on your self esteem.

When do you know social media is an unhealthy influence on your life? Well one sign is when you are driving and stop at traffic lights you pick up your phone to check Instagram, Facebook, etc etc

Scroll Free September offers a unique opportunity to take a break from ALL personal Social Media accounts for 30 days (or for however long you can cope without them)!

08/09/2019

This is something I have always promoted around mental health - the benefits of physical exercise. It’s not all about the gym, running, biking or playing sports it’s about doing something.

Today I will walk to the train station rather than get a cab and coming home walk back.

What step change will you make today, tomorrow and the day after that will give you an opportunity for a longer, healthier and happier life?

Tai chi for older adults and exercise for pregnant women are recommended in new official guidance.

30/07/2019

Just one quote from our publicly available article (weblink below) from the July issue of Coaching Today, which is published by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy © BACP

https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/coaching-today/july-2019/this-space-between-us/?fbclid=IwAR1iDspwPgyk0Il1re44SwyF4T24bWO_1BjNZpbu2abyM_MfMUVQVEzSALI