Hidden Gem Psychology Service

09/12/2025

Controlling behaviour can be hard to spot ❗

It can start small, and you might not even realise it’s happening. It might seem like the ups and downs of any couple.

But controlling behaviour can be a form of abuse - it is wrong, and the person who is doing it is in control of their own actions.

That’s why, as part of the 16 days of action against gender-based abuse, we’re highlighting some of the work we’re doing around domestic abuse

👮 Over the past few months, we’ve been working together with a group of local organisations and working together to specifically tackle repeat offenders of domestic abuse.

🚫 Officers conduct a monthly review and take the necessary action where a risk is identified - using referrals and any appropriate orders or notices to deter them - and most importantly to make sure victims and survivors are safe and get the support they need.

We also want you to know that help is available and you are not alone.

🤔 Are you asking yourself if you’re being controlled? Does something not seem right in your relationship?

👥 Are you worried about a friend? Have they become distant or hard to get hold of since they’ve been with their new partner?

👫 Are you worried about your own behaviour and want to be a better partner?

Help and guidance is available at whoisincontrol.org.

If you’re experiencing this, we understand if you don’t feel ready to report. We will be there to listen when the time comes.

Speak to us on 101, report through our online form or speak to one of our call handlers through the live chat function on our website: Derbyshire.police.uk.

08/12/2025

"Not all wounds bleed. Some sit quietly in the heart — hidden in the way we react, withdraw, overthink, or brace for disappointment.

As I often say to my clients, trauma doesn’t always announce itself with noise — sometimes it whispers through behaviour.

When a child grows up in an environment where love felt unpredictable or emotions were unstable, the nervous system learns to survive, not to relax.
So scanning for tone changes…
Overthinking delayed messages…
Reading meaning into silence…
— wasn’t drama. It was protection.

The body remembers what the mind tries to forget.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I react so strongly?” or “Why does inconsistency trigger me?”
Pause. Breathe. Offer yourself grace.
You’re not broken — you adapted. And adaptation is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Healing isn’t about snapping out of old patterns; it’s about gently rewiring the nervous system to believe, ‘I am safe now.’
It takes time. It takes awareness. It takes compassion — especially towards yourself.

So today, I invite you to practice softness.
💚 Be patient with the parts of you still learning safety.
💚 Be kind to the version of you that survived what could have crushed you.
💚 And be compassionate with others too — many are fighting silent battles you’ll never see.

We’re all unlearning, unfolding, and becoming.
One mindful moment at a time. ✨

08/12/2025

Are you doing self-care, or after-care?

07/12/2025

07/12/2025

Not everyone experiences the holidays the same way, and that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone a perfect version of celebration.
You’re allowed to create traditions that feel nourishing, quiet, gentle, or unconventional (or look grumpy from the outside - no judgement!).
Honor what you need.

🌈Ready to make self-care a real practice instead of just an idea? My 2026 Self-Care Planner helps you set intentions without the pressure. Grab yours here: https://www.selfloverainbow.com/self-care-planner/

07/12/2025

06/12/2025

Sending peace and compassion to those who know this reality.

Resources @ linktr.ee/natepost

I’m glad you’re here. 🫶

05/12/2025

02/12/2025

02/12/2025

"Live your life now — healing often happens along the way, not before you begin."

So many people press pause on living because they’re waiting to “feel ready,” “heal completely,” or “become perfect.” But here’s the truth I’ve seen over and over in my work with singles and couples:
Healing is not a destination. It’s a journey that unfolds while you’re moving, growing, trying, learning, and showing up for yourself.

Don’t put your joy on hold.
Don’t postpone your dreams.
Don’t shrink your life because of yesterday’s wounds.

Take the step. Start the conversation. Join the community. Travel. Learn. Love.
Your healing will meet you on the road — in the courage you show, the boundaries you set, the self-awareness you build, and the grace you give yourself each day.

You deserve a full, vibrant, meaningful life… even as you heal.

Start now. 🌿✨