Decisive Coaching

13/11/2025

A psychologically healthy person:

has an internal locus of control

takes responsibility for their choices

doesn’t default to blame

doesn’t organise their identity around wounds

doesn’t view the opposite s*x as an enemy

doesn’t need external validation for their worth

can regulate emotions

has the mental wealth to navigate life’s challenges

A healthy man doesn’t blame women for his problems.
A healthy woman doesn’t blame men for hers.
Both operate from sovereignty, not woundedness.

05/11/2025

Hi Practitioners,

You’ve probably noticed it too…
Sometimes, people heal quickly — and others don’t.
Same tools. Same effort. Different outcomes.

So what’s missing?

There’s a new system coming that connects the dots between the mind, the body, and the unseen patterns that drive every symptom and every recovery.

Built from years of work across psychology, human behaviour, communication science, energy medicine, and biological healing —
it brings together the most effective principles from the world’s leading modalities…
into one clear, practical, and teachable framework.

It’s unlike anything that’s come before — and it could change how we understand healing itself.

Stay tuned.
The Reboot System is coming soon.

Chris
Decisive Coaching
www.decisivecoaching.co.uk

03/11/2025

“The Victim Mindset”

The victim mindset isn’t who you are — it’s a strategy you once learned to protect yourself from pain, disappointment, or feeling powerless.

It often sounds innocent, even reasonable:

“There’s no point trying — it never works out for me.”

“I can’t change until they do.”

“I’ve had a rough life, so it’s harder for me.”

“That’s just the way I am.”

“I’d be happy if people would just treat me better.”

“It’s easy for them — they don’t have my problems.”

These are everyday examples of victim thinking — quiet, familiar, and often disguised as truth.
But here’s the thing: the victim mindset protects you from responsibility — and that protection also keeps you stuck.

It can feel comforting to believe life is happening to you, because then you don’t have to face what’s happening within you.
But every time you blame, justify, or wait for someone else to change first, you hand your power away.

Real change begins the moment you stop asking,

> “Why does this always happen to me?”
and start asking,
“What is this trying to show me about myself?”

Awareness breaks the pattern.
Responsibility rewires it.
And from there — you start building mental wealth.

29/10/2025

DIS-EASE

When you’ve ruled out injury, toxicity, and deficiency,
what’s left might surprise you.

The body isn’t broken.
It’s communicating.
Every symptom has meaning — it’s the body’s way of expressing what the mind hasn’t yet resolved.

Below are just a few examples that make people rethink what “illness” really means:

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1️⃣ Back pain – (Feeling unsupported, carrying too much weight — often emotional rather than physical.)
2️⃣ Skin rashes / eczema – (Separation conflict — wanting more contact or wanting space.)
3️⃣ Digestive issues (IBS, bloating, reflux) – (Difficulty “digesting” a situation.)
4️⃣ Kidney or bladder problems – (Fear of isolation, loss, or being left alone.)
5️⃣ Heart palpitations / blood pressure issues – (Emotional shock, fear of loss, or feeling pressured.)
6️⃣ Lung conditions (asthma, bronchitis) – (Fear of suffocation — feeling trapped or controlled.)
7️⃣ Joint pain / arthritis – (Feeling restricted, undervalued, or unable to move freely in life.)
8️⃣ Thyroid issues – (Feeling silenced — “I can’t speak up.”)
9️⃣ Weight fluctuations – (Protection — guarding against vulnerability.)
🔟 Fatigue / chronic exhaustion – (A long-term shutdown after too much inner conflict.)

---

Your body doesn’t attack you — it protects you.
It adapts, compensates, and communicates through symptoms when words don’t reach far enough.

When you stop seeing symptoms as mistakes and start seeing them as messages,
you begin to understand what true healing really means.

24/10/2025

"Updating the Software”

Ever spent years working on your hardware — the body, the look, the lifestyle —
but never upgraded the software that runs it?

Most men do.
We train our muscles, but not our mindset.
We sculpt the image, but ignore the inner dialogue.
We push our limits in the gym, but not in emotional growth.

And when the outside evolves faster than the inside…
that’s when the cracks start to show.

Because the moment your inner world can’t keep up with your outer image,
your system looks for balance — through coping mechanisms.
You start reaching for distractions, addictions, or escapes:
alcohol, p**n, overtraining, scrolling, chasing validation, or control.
Anything to silence the noise that success and strength can’t fix.

That’s why so many end up looking strong but feeling weak inside —
because the outside evolved, but the inside stayed stuck.

When the external version of you keeps levelling up,
but the internal version is still running old programming…
you crash.

Real growth isn’t just physical — it’s psychological.
Update the system.
Reboot from within.

Men’s Reboot – Men’s Mental Wealth Retreats
Where strength meets self-awareness.

➡️ Join the Men’s Reboot waitlist to be notified when new retreat dates are announced:
www.decisivecoaching.co.uk/mens-reboot-retreat

23/10/2025

⚡️Reciprocal Validation Syndrome (RVS): When the Wounded Validate the Wounded

Ever noticed how some people only seek out coaches, counsellors, or “healers” who tell them exactly what they want to hear?
“You don’t need to change — just be yourself.”

The problem is… many people already think they are being themselves.
But often, it’s not their authentic self showing up — it’s the version that’s learned to survive, to please, to protect, to control.

That’s where Reciprocal Validation Syndrome creeps in — when both sides unconsciously feed each other’s blind spots.

The client wants validation instead of transformation.
The coach wants admiration instead of self-awareness.
And together, they form an unspoken agreement: you keep admiring me, and I’ll keep telling you that you’re fine.

It feels supportive, but it’s really avoidance disguised as progress.
One stays the victim, the other plays the saviour — and neither truly grows.

Real growth starts when someone helps you question which “self” you’re actually being — the protective one, or the real one.

💡 Mental wealth begins where comfort ends.

22/10/2025

22/10/2025

“The Strong, Silent Struggle”

Most men look strong on the outside — calm, controlled, composed.
But behind closed doors, the story changes.

When no one’s watching, the cracks start to show.
The mind races.
The chest tightens.
Sleep disappears.
And the silence gets heavier.

We’re told to keep it together, to man up, to just get on with it.
But pretending everything’s fine eventually costs you more than the truth ever will.

For years, men have been rewarded for staying in control — for holding it in, for never showing weakness.
But here’s the truth:
That “control” isn’t strength.
It’s fear wearing a brave face.

Because every emotion you avoid doesn’t disappear — it just waits.
And when it finally shows up, it comes out as anger, isolation, or exhaustion.

Real strength isn’t in how much you can carry.
It’s in being honest enough to stop pretending.

The moment you face what’s really going on inside,
you don’t break — you rebalance.

That’s what Men’s Reboot is about.
It’s not therapy.
It’s a reset — a place to breathe, release, and reconnect with the man beneath the armour.

Men’s Reboot – Men’s Mental Wealth Retreats
Where strength meets self-awareness.

➡️ Join the Men’s Reboot waitlist to be notified when new retreat dates are announced:
👉 www.decisivecoaching.co.uk/mens-reboot-retreat

22/10/2025

The Third Option

Ever feel like you’re stuck between two lives?
If you work too hard, your family suffers.
If you don’t work hard enough, your family still suffers.

So you keep pushing.
You work late to make them proud,
but they only remember how often you weren’t there.
You try to slow down and be present,
but you can’t stop thinking about bills, pressure, and being “the man.”

That’s not failure —
that’s an impossible equation most men were never taught to solve.

We call it The Two Sides of Pain.
Work or family. Provider or presence.
Either way, you lose a part of yourself.

But there is a third option.
A way to rebuild life so success doesn’t cost you connection.
Where you can lead and love, provide and be present,
without the constant guilt or grind.

That’s what Men’s Reboot is about.
Because it’s time to stop surviving the tug-of-war,
and start creating balance from the inside out.

🔗 Join the waitlist for upcoming Men’s Reboot Retreats:
👉 decisivecoachinguk.co.uk/mens-reboot