Decisive Coaching

07/12/2025

What If Mental Health Isn’t a “Malfunction” At All?

Before we go any further, let’s get the obvious three things out of the way.
Real brain trauma, real toxicity and real nutritional deficiency can affect how someone thinks and feels.
If those apply, we’re talking about biology, not psychology.

But once we rule those out, what most people call “mental health issues” start to look very different.

Not broken.
Not diseased.
Not a chemical imbalance.

More like this…

A mind carrying too much for too long.
A nervous system stuck in protection mode.
A person who never learned how to process what life threw at them.

People think “mental illness” is something that happens to you, outside your control.
But most of the time, it’s the opposite.
It’s your mind doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you, adapt, cope and survive.

The problem is not the mind.
The problem is that no one teaches us how it works.

Medication might numb things for a while, and sometimes that pause can help.
But it never resolves the cause.
Only understanding, self-awareness and emotional skill do that.

Mental health struggles are not proof that you’re faulty.
They’re proof that you’re human.
And they’re also proof that your mind is trying to communicate, not collapse.

The real shift happens when you stop asking
“What’s wrong with me?”
and start asking
“What am I carrying, avoiding or trying to survive?”

That’s mental wealth.
And it changes everything.

05/12/2025

Most men panic the moment they hear the word “prostate.”
But here’s the truth no one is telling them:

Your prostate isn’t failing — it’s responding.
Every change in the body has a purpose, and understanding that purpose can turn fear into clarity.

I’ve just released a short video breaking down the REAL cause behind prostate enlargement and discomfort — in a way that actually makes sense.

👉 Check the first comment for the video link.
(If you know any men over 40, this might be the most reassuring thing they see today.)

04/12/2025

https://youtu.be/Sp65IQB9BQ4

In this video I break down the 12 most relatable emotional themes I’ve seen in men who experience prostate symptoms — themes that line up perfectly with the ...

26/11/2025

When I first contacted Chris, I was stuck in the same relationship patterns, putting myself last, avoiding conflict, and constantly overthinking everything. What surprised me most was how quickly Chris helped me see the part of me that had been driving these patterns for years.

And the unexpected part? My physical symptoms, the bloating, the chest tightness, the constant tension headaches, started easing as I changed the way I was living and responding to life. I genuinely never believed my symptoms were connected to my behaviour and beliefs until I experienced it myself.

I feel clearer, calmer, and more in control of my life than I have in years.

24/11/2025

BLOATING — WHAT NO ONE EXPLAINS

Let’s get the obvious three out of the way first:

Trauma. Toxicity. Deficiency.
If it’s one of those, that’s a different conversation.

But when your stomach suddenly swells…
when you look pregnant after eating almost nothing…
when every test is “normal,” every diet fails, and nothing changes…

…it usually means your body is responding to something meaningful,
not malfunctioning.

Here’s the part women never get told:

Bloating is often tied to emotional tension — feeling unsafe, overwhelmed, criticised, invaded, pressured, or unable to “digest” something happening in your life.

Not woo-woo.
Biological.

It’s common in women who:

overthink

worry about reactions

hold in their feelings

dread conflict

feel judged or not good enough

people-please

feel responsible for keeping the peace

carry guilt or resentment

suppress anger

feel emotionally “invaded” or overwhelmed

In GNM terms, the gut links to themes like:

things you can’t “digest” or accept

anticipating something unpleasant

feeling invaded or pressured

swallowing emotions you don’t express

tension in relationships

fear, guilt, frustration

This is why bloating often hits when:

you’re stressed

you’re holding back what you really want to say

you feel criticised

you’re overwhelmed by responsibility

you’re dealing with relationship tension

you’re trying to keep everyone else happy

It’s not random.
It’s not “just hormones.”
It’s not a malfunction.

It’s your body communicating emotional overload.

Your biology is saying:

“This feels too much.
Too pressured.
Too unfair.
Too unspoken.
Too undigested.”

And when you understand the emotional logic behind bloating,
you stop seeing it as a nuisance
and start seeing it as a message
from a part of you that’s been carrying everything alone.

24/11/2025

ENDOMETRIOSIS — WHAT NO ONE EXPLAINS

Let’s get the obvious three out of the way first:

Trauma. Toxicity. Deficiency.
If it’s one of those, that’s a different conversation.

But when every test comes back “normal,”
when the pain doesn’t match the scans,
when nothing makes sense and nothing actually helps…

…it usually means the body is responding to something meaningful,
not malfunctioning.

Here’s what most women never get told:

The reproductive system is biologically tied to
sexuality, femininity, identity, emotional territory, boundaries, rejection, resentment, and feeling overpowered or “not enough.”

Not in a fluffy mind-body sense — in a real biological one.

Women who develop endometriosis often have long histories of:

feeling unseen or unappreciated

feeling replaced, unwanted, or sexually rejected

comparing themselves to other women

not feeling safe to be vulnerable

needing control because trust feels risky

carrying resentment toward men or past partners

pushing through emotional and physical pressure

being “the strong one” while struggling inside

feeling responsible for everything and everyone

These patterns usually start young — and stay hidden.

On the outside, they look strong, capable, independent, in control.
On the inside, they’re carrying years of emotional tension, boundary violations, self-doubt, and unprocessed pain.

Endometriosis isn’t a weakness.
It’s not random.
It’s not your body attacking you.

It’s your biology expressing the emotional load you’ve been carrying alone.

Your body isn’t betraying you.
It’s communicating the places where you’ve been hurt, ignored, rejected, controlled, or expected to be strong when you didn’t feel strong at all.

And that understanding is often the beginning of real healing.

19/11/2025

“5 Symptoms People Think Are ‘Random’ — And Why They’re Not.”🥸

19/11/2025

Here’s the truth almost no one has the guts to look at:

Your life isn’t a mess because of what happened to you.
Your life is a mess because you’re still living as the person you had to become to survive it.

That version of you —
the one built in fear, chaos, and uncertainty —
is the one still steering your adult life.

When you were a kid and you were dealing with a volatile parent,
a manipulative adult,
a bully who destroyed your confidence,
a family who acted like your feelings were irrelevant,
or a home where you were forced to behave like an emotional hostage…

…you didn’t just learn to cope.
You learned to contort.

You became whoever kept the peace.
Whoever stayed invisible.
Whoever absorbed the blow.
Whoever predicted danger fastest.
Whoever kept people happy enough not to turn on you.

You created a version of yourself built on fear, lies, suppression, and sacrifice.

And here’s the part you don’t want to admit:

You never stopped being that person.

You grew older — but you didn’t grow out of it.

You’re still terrified of honesty
because honesty used to get you punished.

You’re still allergic to conflict
because conflict meant emotional annihilation.

You’re still hiding your feelings
because you were trained to believe emotions made you weak, dramatic, or a burden.

You’re still pleasing everyone around you
because you learned early that love was conditional and approval was currency.

You’re still playing small
because standing out once made you a target.

And worst of all?

You’re still pointing at your past
so you don’t have to take responsibility for the patterns you keep choosing today.

Let’s cut the bu****it:

Your childhood didn’t chain you.
You chained yourself to the version of you that survived it.

You’re not “traumatised beyond repair.”
You’re just comfortable blaming the past so you never have to face the present.

You’re not “broken.”
You’re addicted to the identity you built when you had no power —
because it lets you avoid changing now that you do have power.

Every time you say:

“That’s just who I am.”
“This is just how I work.”
“I can’t change.”
“This happened to me, so what do you expect?”

…it’s not wisdom talking.
It’s fear.
It’s avoidance.
It’s the shadow version calling the shots because the adult version of you is too scared to take over.

You’re not cursed.
You’re not doomed.
You’re not destined to repeat the same cycles forever.

You’re just refusing to fire the child version of yourself
who’s been driving your life like it’s still a war zone.

If this feels harsh, good.
If you feel exposed, perfect.
If you feel defensive, that’s the part of you I’m talking to.

Because here’s the truth you can’t wiggle out of:

The moment you stop worshipping your past
and start taking ownership of your patterns,
your entire life changes.

Until then?

You’re not stuck.
You’re just repeating the same old story
because it’s easier than writing a new one.

More coming.
The stuff that hits you where your excuses live.

17/11/2025

Ever had that feeling that your symptoms mean something…
but no one has ever explained it in a way that actually makes sense?

That’s the side of health I’m interested in —
the human side.
The emotional side.
The psychological patterns behind the physical signals we call “symptoms.”

Because your body isn’t random.
Your symptoms aren’t random.
And your life experiences are connected to your biology in ways most people never see.

I share insights that bridge:
• practical psychology
• human behaviour
• emotional conflict patterns
• nervous system responses
• and the deeper meaning behind chronic symptoms

No fluff.
No fear.
Just clarity, understanding, and a completely different lens to see your health through.

If you’re curious about the other side of symptoms —
the deeper story your body has been trying to tell —
you’ll find my most in-depth daily posts over on my page.

⭐

16/11/2025

Kidney Symptoms — When Life Feels Too Heavy, Unfair or Too Much to Carry Alone

Before looking any deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: , stones, dehydration, medication effects, structural issues, or severe deficiencies. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, kidney symptoms often reflect something far more emotional.

The kidneys react strongly to pressure, fear and unfairness — not the everyday kind, but the heavy, internal kind people rarely talk about.

Kidney issues often show up when you’ve been carrying:

• responsibility that feels overwhelming
• pressure you never asked for
• financial stress or instability
• fear about the future
• emotional burdens that aren’t yours
• the feeling of being unsupported or alone
• a sense of being “dropped in the deep end”
• unfair treatment or sudden loss
• situations that feel too big to handle
• long-term internal stress you’ve normalised

It’s the body’s way of saying:

“This is too much for me to carry by myself.”

Kidney symptoms often appear during or after:

– relationship breakdowns
– major life shocks
– betrayal or abandonment
– feeling responsible for everyone
– sudden fear about survival or stability
– being left to cope alone
– losing support you relied on
– living in unpredictable environments
– ongoing emotional strain with no relief

Many people with kidney issues describe the same emotional theme:

“I had no choice. I just had to cope.”

The kidneys regulate balance —
not just water balance,
but emotional balance.

When life feels unstable, unfair, or overwhelming, the kidneys often express the weight you’ve been silently carrying.

Kidney symptoms aren’t random.
They’re often the physical imprint of emotional load that has been too heavy for too long.

Your body speaks the truth, even when you don’t feel able to.

16/11/2025

Tinnitus — The Noise You Never Got to Respond To

Before looking any deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: ear infections, hearing damage, medication effects, wax buildup, or anything structurally wrong. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, tinnitus often reflects something far more emotional and internal.

Tinnitus is often connected to unresolved tension or emotional noise that was never expressed or released.

It’s the body’s version of:

“There’s something I didn’t get to say… something I didn’t get to react to.”

Tinnitus tends to appear when you’ve been:

• holding in frustration or resentment
• dealing with criticism or harsh environments
• surrounded by conflict you couldn’t escape
• silencing your true reactions to keep the peace
• overwhelmed by other people’s demands or intensity
• living with unspoken worry, fear or anger
• bracing yourself around unpredictable people
• mentally replaying conversations or arguments
• carrying stress you haven’t voiced
• living with constant background anxiety or tension

People often notice the ringing becomes louder when:

– they feel emotionally overloaded
– they’ve been suppressing truth or anger
– someone is dominating or controlling
– they’re anticipating conflict
– they’re carrying internal pressure
– they’re around chaotic environments
– they’re avoiding a difficult conversation
– they’re overstimulated mentally or emotionally

And it tends to quieten when:

– they feel safe
– they feel heard
– they feel emotionally supported
– they finally express what’s been trapped inside

Tinnitus isn’t random.
It’s often an internal echo of unresolved emotional intensity — noise that didn’t get expressed at the time, and now has nowhere else to go.

Your body amplifies what your mind tries to silence.

16/11/2025

Thyroid Issues — When You Silence Yourself for Too Long

Before looking any deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: deficiencies, infections, hormonal imbalances, medication effects, or anything structurally wrong. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, thyroid symptoms often reflect something far more emotional.

The thyroid sits in the throat — the centre of expression, truth and communication.
So when you consistently silence yourself, the body often reacts in the same area.

Thyroid issues tend to show up when you’re:

• swallowing your words to avoid conflict
• hiding your real feelings
• keeping the peace instead of speaking up
• afraid of being judged, dismissed or misunderstood
• living a life that doesn’t match who you truly are
• carrying anger or frustration you never release
• feeling unseen, unheard or unappreciated
• suppressing your needs to protect others
• constantly monitoring your tone, behaviour or emotions
• holding back from expressing your identity

It’s the body’s way of saying:

“You’re not speaking your truth — so I’m expressing the strain for you.”

Thyroid symptoms often appear during:

– difficult relationships
– controlling environments
– workplaces where you can’t be honest
– breakups or emotional separation
– years of trying to be who others expect
– chronic people-pleasing
– childhoods where speaking up led to consequences
– moments where authenticity feels risky

Many people with thyroid symptoms describe a lifetime of:

• being polite instead of honest
• being agreeable instead of expressive
• being “nice” instead of real
• playing small to stay safe
• hiding their true voice
• feeling afraid to disappoint or upset others

Thyroid issues aren’t random.
They’re the body’s reflection of a voice that’s been held inside far too long.

Your body feels the truth even when you don’t speak it.