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A Different Pathway Therapy, Cheltenham (2026)

10/01/2026

Time to Heal
Welcome to “The Program” - Day 6

What do you WANT?

For me, hypnotherapy and ‘wants’ for your life are deeply connected - let me explain with something that just happened

I was approached today to help someone’s wife with alcohol consumption. This subject speaks to me as I myself have given up alcohol for a better life

My friend said - that his wife is ready to try something like hypnotherapy to stop using alcohol. He said - how CAN and how DOES hypnotherapy help with something like this

This was my answer :

I personally believe that hypnotherapy in times of sorting addiction is ANOTHER tool ON TOP OF WANTING TO GIVE UP to rely on DAILY.

A constant unrelenting reminder of why you want to give up and to keep your focus and determination up. It’s like a constant friend coming over everyday, egging you on to keep going - persuading constantly and talking about the positives of it every day and every moment.
Basically reminding you that it’s what you want, always

Hypnotherapy should be used like a medication every single day to remind yourself of your goals and how life WILL be better! Use recordings given to you by your hypnotherapist or use trusted hypnotherapists on YouTube to keep the cost down!

Reminding yourself of what you want eveyday will help immensely with success. I believe hypnotherapy is part of a tool kit or part of your on self made medication to either ‘get better’ - ‘change’ or have something in your life.

You have to keep hearing it - keep seeing it - keep it in your mind everyday - the ‘manifestation’ of it , if you like to word it that way.

Manifestation is basically constant focus and determination. Constantly thinking of it and living it, constantly hearing it and being around it. Speaking to people about it. Following people, watching videos. Reading books on it - EVERYDAY!

You need people around you to talk about it and to watch content about it so you are surrounded by what you WANT all the flipping time!

I also told my friend- I used OYNB - ONE YEAR NO BEER - a company out there (not affiliated) to give up alcohol and meeting people there on the private forums and facebook was just another part of my ‘medication’ and constant daily focused plan I made for myself.

So today’s exercise is - WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT!

So just like any other day - write your 30 grateful’s down - as this is your ‘medication’ to get your mind back to a more positive outlook. This will help you immensely if you are feeling ‘down’ and ‘low’ keep doing your grateful’s everyday and do the 10 boost grateful’s if the day is particularly hard

Then once the 30 have been done take the time to now write down what you WANT in life. Anything! Small or outrageously large dreams. Write them down.

This can be put in categories if you like - maybe FREE things you want - ie friendships to continue, love to remain with people, walks in nature, stuff that wouldn’t need money - things that are more organic. Your dream job aspirations or free learning you can do - or gardening - you get the idea

Then you can make the wants that include money / ie physical things - house, car, holidays, trips things etc

You can make other categories if you need to or you can just make one list of what you WANT with everything on it.

To keep on track you can write them down everyday with your grateful’s - or you can do them every 6 months if you are very focused on them daily / I do mine now every 6 months and check in on the them now and again to check them off when I’ve achieved them - or notice what I still am wanting in my future -

Sometimes things change of course get removed and that’s fine - but knowing what you WANT is great for looking forward and striving forward into your future

02/01/2026

Time to Heal
Welcome to “The Program” - Day 5.

KEEP or DELETE

Probably the perfect time for this post due to us all starting a new year. But it’s time to really look at your life and decide whether to keep or delete ‘things’ in your life

As always - start your day with your 30 grateful’s from DAY 1 - taking your metaphorical medicine before doing the keep or delete exercise. I can’t stress enough how important the 30 grateful’s are. You are re-programming your mind to be in a positive state now. Understanding and having gratitude for what you already have!

Once done - you can move on to this powerful exercise

Keep or Delete!

This can be physical things, of course. But it can also be any mental thing as well. It can literally be anything - including people if necessary.

I always think of it like this. It’s sometimes harder to spot a mind that’s sad, or depressed, full of anxiety etc. I sometimes think of it as the mind is hurt, like you have fallen over and bust your knee but you can’t see it as well.

Let’s just say you had a skin infection. The first thing you would do is stop put the bad thing that caused the infection on your skin - that’s the VERY first thing you’d do! You’d immediately take away the ‘bad’ thing you are putting on it to let it begin to heal. Then you would make sure you rest and take care of yourself more to heal your skin now it has a chance.

But when it’s your mind you can’t necessarily ‘see’ the ‘infection’ or the ‘problem’ but it’s certainly there.

Take phone use - we are all addicted to our phones these days - and there’s a lot of talk in the world about depression and anxiety being at the highest it’s been. But we don’t put our phones down. If it were obvious that the phone was giving our ear or hand a skin infection we wouldn’t pick it up anymore! We’d stop using it - but when we are depressed or have anxiety we sometimes will go to our beds and then spend EVEN MORE TIME with our phones - which could be the reason why we are in bed in the first place!!

Now I’m using the phone as an example but you can make it fit with whatever you need to in your life.

What’s making you have the metaphorical mind infection??

If something is hurting your mind it is time to get rid of whatever it is - delete it from your life! Let you mind have a chance to heal.

There are so many millions of things that could be the culprit to your mind being ‘sad’ and I think it’s easy to scan your own mind to find them - you know what is hurting you most of the time if you are very honest with yourself.

Sit in a meditation for 45 mins. Set a timer and look at a blank wall or candle - I prefer a blank wall so boredom helps my mind be creative.

In this meditation the answers of what is in your life that is ‘hurting’ you or ‘not so good’ for you will reveal themselves.

You’ll know….

You can also think about all the amazing things that you want to KEEP in your life - now this should be even easier as you are doing your 30 grateful’s every morning.

So you can start to realise what you need to KEEP in your life for a calmer NOW and a BETTER FUTURE.

AND you can start to realise what you need to start to DELETE in your life for a calmer NOW and a BETTER FUTURE

I’ve noticed it’s too easy to be mentally connected to the past - we can live in the past too much and hold on to things that don’t actually exist anymore. This stops you from enjoying the NOW - (the PRESENT) and certainly stifles your future.

We have to accept that the past has happened and it is only a now a story. It stays only in your mind as a source of information to know not to do things that hurt you in your present moment or your future.

Rumination can feel awful until you come to fully realise your mind is protecting you from future mistakes. It’s reminding you that certain ways of living are painful and warning you not to do them again or to protect yourself more from being around future pain.

Your mind is protecting you by remembering- Like burning your hand on a stove - you won’t put it on a stove again. If your mind keeps painful information it’s just desperately trying to stop you from being in a situation like that again.

You can’t fully forget your past - as it’s information to learn from. Your mind will remember pain to try and protect you in your future.

Only the now and future REALLY exist

So take the learnings from the past and use it to set up a better future - understand the protection it’s constantly giving you. You will never forget the past - that’s impossible. But you can analyse the lessons and know that certain life choices or situations are not meant for you. They shouldn’t be in your PRESENT moment or your FUTURE

Decide on all the ‘things’ and details you want to KEEP in your life for 2026 and start to decide what to DELETE in 2026.

Healing is slow but steady and SOLID! Time helps so much. It’s so gentle but so STURDY.

Life needs to have a slower pace - especially when healing. Take your time on purpose. Be kind to yourself. Allow the pace of life to slow.

Be with people you KNOW that they love you

If you suspect people don’t fully care about you take a break from them as you are healing

ONLY BE WITH PEOPLE WHO DEEPLY CARE ABOUT YOU and know that LOVE is SOFT and KIND - the pace of true love is sturdy and slower.

I believe true love is like lighting a match the opposite side. Not the crazy spark at the beginning that can burn out far too quickly - i believe the pace of love is slower and solid and then the binding huge spark ignites when in each others arms whilst holding deep trust for one another . Then the words I LOVE YOU make you joyfully weep!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"

30/12/2025

Time to Heal
Welcome to “The Program” - Day 4…

What are your Life Beliefs and Deal Breakers

As always - do your 30 grateful’s to start your day off right - follow the instructions from DAY 1 of The Program before moving on to day 4s activity. The 30 grateful’s are medicine to your healing!

Day 4. Know your Life Beliefs and Deal Breakers.

Knowing yourself fully or sometimes learning yourself for the first time can be so healing and helpful for your future. Knowing what you stand for - what you believe in - what you see to be ‘correct’ or ‘wrong’ is vitally important for your mind to be balanced. Making better decisions about your life now and future life.

You can say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ with more confidence and you can say it immediately when faced with decisions if you know yourself better.

If you don’t know yourself well enough and you are in someone’s else company when a decision needs to be made - you will be more likely to go along with their thoughts, decisions and ideas….. they may be very wrong for what you truly believe in...

Write down on paper what you believe in or what your beliefs are. This will probably be what you have seen and learnt from growing up.

You will have strong opinions on what is right and wrong to you from what you grew up with.

You can look at your past and analyse whether what you saw to be correct or not correct in your own mine and you can find your belief system

For example - you can look at the relationships you saw. You can analyse how you believe a relationship should be run from what you’ve seen. Are the examples of relationships around you when your were growing up, ones that you think are running as you believe are correct or were they run in a different way that you would prefer to change in your own life. You don’t have to copy what you saw if you truly believe it wasn’t right - or you can see the relationships to be correct and want to build your own relationship like the ones you were exposed to.

Clearly you can look at all sorts of subjects to find your beliefs. This has just been an example of relationships.

Write down as many beliefs that you have and over the months and years look back and see whether they remain the same - a lot of my very young belief systems have remained the same however I needed to know them before I could implement the in my own life. So this exercise was vitally important to me.

My life got better when I started to follow what my true belief systems were.

Also write down Deal Breakers - understand what you just WONT accept in your life.

The world can be like a playground to some people - and you can be treated very badly for a multitude of different reasons. It’s very important that you understand what your deal breakers are so you can act accordingly when people cross boundaries.

But again you must KNOW what these are as you need to learn them about yourself to act with confidence and understanding of yourself and what best for you.

Understanding yourself can make you feel more in control over your own life and you can make hugely better life decisions just from knowing this information about yourself…

28/12/2025

Time to Heal
Welcome to “The Program” - Day 3…

Write down who your ‘People’ are.

It may not be a time that you can actually see these people - you may be in the thick of it and can barely leave your bed. But doing the daily exercise from DAY 1 of The Program will start to change your brain’s neuro pathways soon so you gather some emotional strength to look at things in a different light

So write down the 30 things you are grateful for this morning before or with your morning drink! It is your healing ‘medicine’ to do this. It has excellent results when a full course is taken….!

Knowing who your ‘people’ are is so important and you will find that the REAAAALLY IMPORTANT people are few - that is normal and certainly ok!

Not many people will be people you tell EVERYTHING to. Not many people that you know are the people you’d phone in a disaster situation and ask for their help.

There’s not many people that you trust entirely with ALL your INFORMATION. It takes years to fully know you can trust someone - so these VERY trusted people will be few and that’s normal and ok!

So when I think of ‘my people’ I put them in a category type of way.
I ‘see’ my ‘people’ in the shape of a Ten Pin Bowling set up.

ONE (or a small amount of people) at the top on the first line and then the second line down there’s TWO people - then, under them there’s THREE people on the next line and so forth down the lines until it kinda looks like a Ten Pin Bowling set up

Knowing that you can turn to one person about ANYTHING is the person you’d put at the top of the diagram.

So write on your paper the most important and trust worthy person, (perhaps ’people’)

Then down to the next line to put the next people you know. People you really enjoy spending time with perhaps - maybe even developing friendships

Then down a line put the people you sometimes see and enjoy that company of but don’t know hugely well but may like to.

And continue down so you know ALL your people.

I’ve noticed over the years of doing this exercise that some of the people change location - going up or down on this set up or sometimes will come off the diagram due to life experience and life changes people have.
For example perhaps people moving away etc or the friendship didn’t develop for some reason. But the people at the top do tend to stay the same.

And it’s good to know who you can rely on, who you trust, can call on in a disaster, help and be helped by - and very importantly who you can be truly yourself with.

Day 3: Know your ‘People’

26/12/2025

Time to Heal
Welcome to “The Program” - Day 2…

Write down: “What do I Like and Love?”

To re-program your mind to be happier continue on to Day 2 of “The Program”
- always adding from Day 1’s exercise of being grateful. So on waking (everyday!) always do your 30 grateful’s (see Day 1 from the program if necessary)

If you need a super boost due to having a particularly hard day, do 10 more grateful’s on your phone note pad or other paper or book you are using….

Always start your day with your 30 grateful’s before anything else - this is vitally important for your healing. Vital! It is your NEW DAILY MEDICINE!

Day 2. It’s time to connect to yourself - re-learn or even learn for the first time what you ‘like’ and ‘love’ in life.

In this exercise write down the words “I Like’ in the middle of a page and then all around that word you will write ANYTHING that you like in life.

It can be food, activities, clothes, colours, people, events, any type of work, place, hobbies, music. This is your LIKE section.

On another page or piece of paper write ‘I Love’ in the middle - then again all around it, write the things you LOVE in life - anything at all.

You may find that doing the Like section first or even at the same time, reveals to you whether you actually LOVE things instead of just liking them!

It’s a beautiful way to connect to yourself.

Learn yourself - understand yourself. Be aware of yourself to a higher level slowly but surly.

Everyday making steps towards getting to know yourself more and more. Slowly healing you mind.

Finding flickers of happiness and joy in what you already have and know of.

When I was re-programming my depressive, anxious and paranoid mind to be happier and healthier I had paper EVERYWHERE. If I was re doing this program I’d be wayyyyy more neat and tidy and have a nice book.

You can do that… be tidier than me….

But this is what I did to heal myself, learning myself and slowly slowly retraining my mind to be more positive, happier and understand myself as a human being. I know it dragged me out of a certain hell I was in!
I climbed out of hell, up a burning ladder - I climbed everyday until I was out.

Knowing myself fully and continuously being grateful for what I already had and seeing the glass to be half full everyday instead of half empty is what got me off antidepressants and away from things that were hurting me mentally and physically.

I must tell you I gave up alcohol completely at this stage too.

Now I have considered putting this into my program on a specific day. But as I’m not a doctor and don’t know your particular circumstances with any addiction or substance - I will leave that up to your own discernment - by doing my program i believe alcohol reduction or any addiction will be addressed by the reader/listener automatically and at the correct time, as you WILL be able to VALUE YOURSELF in other ways from doing these steps in this program.

I was on this program I made for around 6 months and I got off a few of my addictions, off antidepressants and therapy which is ultimately what I wanted the most.

So as you have deduced I started my self made program whilst still on my antidepressants, and in therapy - I’ve been on and off antidepressants 5 times and even though I do say they are a complete necessity in some cases, I wanted a different long term solution. I knew of many people on them for years. I didn’t want that - Plus I didn’t like the side effects I had.

I wanted to get to the nucleus of my problem, get my metaphorical hands on the problem and clean the thing thoroughly once and for all.

Fix myself fully - not ‘masking’ it with pills.

I had 3 different therapists (not all together - one after another, as I got handed around - “oh I think your be better suited to a psychotherapist - “oh I think you’d be better off seeing a s*x therapist” oh I think you’d be better off seeing a EMDR specialist” ….. pfft…. Death by therapy and FOREVER PAYING OUT up to £100 pounds an hour!!

(This is when I started my training as a hypnotherapist and nlp master so I could help HEAL MYSELF in my spare time! I was sick of being stuck and paying endless amounts of money. I wanted to be my own therapist! It took 3 years in total.)

Plus telling my story yet again to another stranger in therapy over and over was getting boring - plus that’s just 1 hour a week of ‘help’ - I have another 167 hours to deal with ON MY OWN!!!

I know being grateful was my first starting point EVERY SINGLE DAY WITHOUT FAIL to heal everything. Hence why I put it at day 1 on my Program.

But Day 2 was about starting to learn what I liked and loved about life.

So, what do you like and love? Write it down - Enjoy learning about yourself today

20/12/2025

Time to Heal
Welcome to “The Program” - Day 1

Being Grateful.

When something ‘bad’ happens for a while afterwards life can feel surreal.

We can disassociate from reality as we float about on auto pilot continuing to do the physicalities of life like work, eating, seeing to our children. Our mind is somewhere else as we start to analyse and ruminate on our problems

We can have explosive irritability as even the smallest job in front of us becomes a mountain of difficulty. All we want to do is sit in our bed, not be with another human being and think about our problems over and over.

We do not want to be bothered by life’s normalities…. but life continues… and sometimes because we have responsibilities we HAVE to continue

Jordan Peterson (Canadian psychologist and author) says that a problem is ‘old’ if it’s over a year and a half since the date it happened.

Life since the ‘bad’ thing continues to plod forward. Time passing sluggishly. Slowly whilst we can feel that we are stuck in a pain that won’t and can’t go away.

We curse the day it happened. We think life was ‘perfect’ before what happened. We glorify what was and scold what is now.

Time passes and passes and nothing seems to change. Depression and sadness seems to succeed and dominate every day whilst rays of light and good news seem few and far between or we can’t see them at all due to our fogged blindness.

If Jordan Peterson is right then the first 1.5 years is where we need help from others. We are in shock. Life has changed and we kick and scream due to not wanting this change.

We fight and fight it, reminiscing our ‘perfect’ past.

Our past wasn’t perfect. In reality it wasn’t - it’s just we don’t want to accept this new life we have been forced to now live.

We say thing like - “if I hadn’t” or “if they hadn’t l” or “if I’d never gone” or “if I’d never met them” or “if I done this or that, it wouldn’t have happened”

Maybe some of it is true…. But life’s life… and a problem of some sort was in our future. We can’t go through life with no problems. That is impossible. Impossible. This is the situation that has happened and it’s about learning to step forward. Deal with and heal every day.

It’s about feeling into this new life and learning how to live in it. The pace of life has now changed. The people are different. You are different, your surroundings are different. Everything is different and it’s about getting use to and seeing the new beauties in it over a long period of time.

If you had been born into whatever your ‘problem’ is - you wouldn’t see life any different and you would be able to find the good and the beauty in parts of your life.

Within the 1.5 years of the ‘thing’ happening to you - you seek professional help. Perhaps a therapist, doctors, medication etc. Professional people who have experience in the situation you are in. They can explain and guide you with help and stories of other people to make you feel that you are not alone. Someone else has dealt with this too.

You eventually meet new people who are in the same situation and you share stories.

You enter this life in what I call the basement…. But there are stairs up to the ground above … and people are there. You see and talk to these people. You know there is a process of healing and stepping up the stairs one day. But yes, you enter in the basement and it is a very dark place.

I remember being in the basement when I lost my first child

There are levels above you. And it’s your personal journey where you will stay in each area for as long as you need to be. Listening and understanding other people’s experiences. Sharing stories of your own. It can turn into a stoic experience. You maybe able to see some peoples situations seem worse then yours. You meet people who want to help you and listen to you. In the correct forums you can talk to people 24/7 when you need help.

Time passes

One day, in the basement, you will realise that actually…. You are not in the basement anymore…. You realise suddenly that you are on the ground floor. You can tell because more and more people have entered the basement whilst you were there and you realise you are giving out advice rather than seeking advice and listening

You have stepped forward. Gone up the staircase. You are on the ground level. You realise that one level of healing has happened.

This makes you look up. You see another set of stairs. You don’t want to, or can’t climb them yet - you still feel completely broken but you are not in the basement now. You are on the ground level. You know in your heart that you will be stepping up those stairs one day.

To get out of hell you climb a rope ladder that’s on fire. But you do climb it! Everyday you climb it. Time helps you, slowly but solidly.

You start to make friends that you never knew before. Your life is now collecting beautiful things. Like finding the sparkling jewels in the ashes of a burnt down house. You dust them off, appreciate them and put them in your pocket to keep.

There are small specs of beauty here.

You’re grateful for your new friends you have met. Perhaps you think they are so strong. Maybe you look up to them. You are so grateful that you’ve met them to get you through your situation.

And people will think like this about you. You will be their important person, people will be grateful for you whilst you help them.

You become a professional in your new life, helping others with the same problems that you used to have. Able to give them solid advice and guidance whilst they’re in the basement. Telling them with deep understanding that “things get easier”

The first year and a half is a dark time. And it will always be remembered as a dark time. But it’s time bound and it cannot stay as it is - it will morph and change. And the one thing that you will get from all of this without a doubt is, strength!

Climbing the levels is inevitable. You start in the basement go up to the ground floor, go up to the upper level and then go to the penthouse -

You will always remember how you felt, you will always remember the pain. It isn’t about forgetting or getting rid of it forever. It’s about how you can look at yourself and think the best in yourself for getting through that terrible time.

You can think of yourself as brave. How many times have you already said in life? “I can’t believe I got through that.” When you did.

The pain and the suffering that you experienced will become a reminder of how strong, capable and resilient you are. You can be proud of yourself for living through something so difficult and think of yourself as strong.

You will be proud of yourself, it’s inevitable you will be in awe yourself forgetting through that. It’s inevitable. You feel proud that you’ve helped other people get through the worst time of their lives. It’s inevitable.

The first year and a half is where you step on your new stepping stones and wobble forward every day. Learning how to stand on them individually - learning how to hold other peoples hands as you stand on the new stones. Holding other peoples hands as they stand on them. The first year is finding out how to stand on them and step forward every day, however slowly

And then after 1.5 years you can start to write down everything that you are grateful for. You can identify all of the sparkles of beauty that you have found in this new life. All the metaphorical rubies, emeralds, flex of gold pieces of gold, silver, all the beauties of your new life. And you can appreciate them deeply as they saved you.

And this is where it’s important to write 30 grateful’s every day, every morning.

I absolutely swear by this that it’s the answer to solid healing. I honestly believe it saved my life.

To focus on yourself again instead of the problem

Instead of analysing the problem over and over thousands of times a day, you can turn your mind back to yourself and to what you are grateful for. What you have now, the beauties in the life that you now have..

What you are lucky to now have

Every morning, you write 30 gratefuls. Write it long form

“ I am grateful for…” 30 times

Yes, it’s hard at first but you can write down everything, as small as, I’m grateful for my shower. I’m grateful for hot water. I’m grateful for the carpet in my house. I’m grateful for the people that I’ve seen today. I’m grateful for the lights working. I’m grateful for my sight. I’m grateful for food and water. Keep going no matter how small.

Write 30 things you are grateful for every single day until you ultimately feel so much better that you feel that you can let that go.

At the worst time of my life, I did 30 grateful’s a day for a round about six months and if I had a particularly bad day, I would do 10 extra grateful’s on my phone in my Notes section

I truly believe from the bottom of my heart that doing this healed me to a level where I was able to function as a normal human being again

So today I share this with you and hope that it helps you.

#

A Different Pathway Therapy

10/01/2026

02/01/2026

30/12/2025

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