The Bird's Nest Consultancy

09/03/2026

Yes

08/03/2026

Yes

Who our children are is already enough, and it is our job to make sure they truly know it.

Children should never feel like their worth depends on how well they perform, how much they achieve, or how closely they meet someone else’s expectations. Their value does not come from grades, talents, or accomplishments. Their value comes from who they are as human beings.

When children grow up feeling respected for their personality, their voice, their feelings, and their unique way of experiencing the world, they develop a deep sense of self worth that cannot be taken away by mistakes or failures. They learn that they are allowed to grow, to explore, and to become themselves without needing to prove that they deserve love.

Our role as parents is not to shape our children into impressive accomplishments. Our role is to protect their sense of worth while they grow into who they are meant to become.

Because when a child knows they are valued simply for being themselves, they carry that belief with them for the rest of their life. ❤️❤️❤️

08/03/2026

Yep

08/03/2026

Yep

Just because we aren’t forcing or guilting our children into expressing appreciation, does not mean they won’t ever feel appreciative. Children learn to express appreciation by being appreciated. We model gratitude and appreciation for others and for them. The truth is, a lot of children do not feel appreciated. They don’t feel like people are grateful for them. A lot of parents feel entitled to appreciation so instead of modelling gratitude, they model entitlement.

If you think this is something you’re struggling with, there is no shame in that. The first step is realizing it can be hurtful. That’s what’s happening right now and it can be a very painful step. In fact this step can be so difficult we become defensive. Because not only are we realizing that we may have done something hurtful. We’re often realizing that we were treated that way as a child. That we always felt like we were being forced and shamed into expressing gratitude. So it’s a lot to process.

Learn more about connection, co-regulation and deepening the parent-child bond in my latest book 👇

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣⁣
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Links in comments

AUDIOBOOK OUT NOW

Reviews

“Your book is currently changing our lives 🙌❤️🙏” T. Frissora

“Absolutely love your book! Thank you for what you do.” KQK

“The first book I can’t put down.” S. Cerami

“I don’t feel alone anymore!” P. Cassin

07/03/2026

So true

You’re raising a child with a nervous system that’s constantly asking one question:

“Am I safe here?”

And you answer that question way more with your actions than your words.

When you’re consistent, your child doesn’t have to guess. They don’t have to test ten times to find out if the rule is real today. They start to relax because they know what to expect from you.

Consistency is what tells their brain, “My parent means what they say. I’m not alone in charge.”

When you provide structure, you’re giving your child the “edges” of the day. The limits. The routines. The clear expectations. And that structure is not restrictive to kids, it’s calming. It’s the difference between a child feeling like they have to control everything, and a child feeling like, “My parent has this.”

Here’s the part I want you to really take in as a parent:

Your child might not like the boundary, but they need the boundary to feel secure.

Because when the rules change based on mood, energy, or who’s in the room, your child’s nervous system goes on high alert. That’s when you see more arguing, more pushing, more “but whyyy,” more meltdowns. Not because your kid is bad. Because your kid is trying to figure out where the line is.

So when you hear, “Kids need parents who are reliable,” think:

✅You say it once, and you follow through.
✅You don’t keep reopening the decision.
✅You hold the line with warmth, not anger.
✅You become predictable enough that your child can stop scanning for danger and start cooperating.

Reliability is how you become the safe leader your child can rest against.

Drop a 💛 below if you agree.

07/03/2026

Children always amaze me we didn't want to finish pur writing today but we did and proudly read it to mum and dad great job and great writing.

06/03/2026

Yep

Children learn far more from what we model than from what we say.

They watch how we speak to others.
They notice how we handle frustration.
They observe the way we respond when things do not go our way.

Our reactions, our tone, our patience, our ability to repair after mistakes, all of these moments quietly teach them what it means to be human.

This does not mean we need to be perfect.
Perfection is not the lesson children need; what they need is authenticity. They need to see adults who try, who reflect, who apologize, who grow, and who choose kindness even when it is hard.

When we model empathy, they learn empathy.
When we model respect, they learn respect.
When we model self-regulation, they slowly learn how to regulate themselves.

The way we treat them becomes the voice they eventually carry inside themselves.

And that is incredibly powerful. 💕💕💕

06/03/2026

Yes otherwise they'll stop telling you things.

We’ve all felt that feeling of excitement when we have something to share and we hope that when we share it that the person we share with will be just as excited too!

The same is also true for children, they want us to be excited because they are excited. These are the special moments in their day that feels big to them and makes them feel important and when children feel heard, they feel loved.

It’s magical when our children feel our excitement, especially when we meet their excitement with the same energy.

Their eyes light up, their words come out faster, their smile gets bigger and it makes what they have to say even more special. It’s like you’re celebrating with them in their excitement which makes them feel that you genuinely care about what they have to say.

This kind of shared excitement makes your child feel seen, valued, and understood and it turns even the smallest thing that they are excited to tell you into a moment they’ll remember and you’ll remember it too!

The way we listen today impacts what our child shares with us tomorrow, so listen like it really matters because to your child, it really does!

Send this post to a parent who needs to hear this!

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06/03/2026

So true.

Example: “I’m feeling really frustrated right now and it’s making it hard for me to communicate. I just need a minute to reconnect with myself.”

If you’re sitting here going… “yeah but how do they know what they did was wrong?” They will understand, when they are mature enough. But before you collaborate with your child to find a solution, you need to check-in with yourself. When we take the time to check-in and connect with ourselves before we try to make sense of the situation, we’re more likely to respond, instead of react. What if my child is continuing to hit me or someone else? This is tough because both nervous systems are in sympathetic. You can meet both your needs with a co-regulation strategy that uses force. I like the “push me over game.” I put my palms up and brace myself and my child uses only their palms to try and push me over; highly effective nervous system reset. You can also try to push against a wall if another person is not available.

Learn more about connection, co-regulation and deepening the parent-child bond in my latest book 👇

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Link in comments

AUDIOBOOK OUT NOW

Reviews

“Your book is currently changing our lives 🙌❤️🙏” T. Frissora

“Absolutely love your book! Thank you for what you do.” KQK

“The first book I can’t put down.” S. Cerami

“I don’t feel alone anymore!” P. Cassin

06/03/2026

After a busy world book day and a great tutoring session you say "would you like a photo woth Marvin today?" He replies "Yes but wait while I strike a pose"! Look at that pose.