ReselfMe Psychotherapy

ReselfMe Psychotherapy Psychotherapist and counsellor working adolescents and adults online and in person Welcome to ReselfMe Therapy. The therapy I offer is not about quick solutions.

My name is Julia, and I am an integrative psychotherapist offering trauma-informed therapy for adults, adolescents, and young adults, both online and in-person in Chigwell, Essex. At the heart of my work is a simple but powerful belief: healing begins not by fixing what’s broken, but by reconnecting with what was never truly lost. Through a depth-oriented, relational approach, I help clients explore the emotional roots beneath anxiety, identity struggles, trauma, psychosomatic symptoms, and disconnection. I work with a wide range of issues, including emotional overwhelm, abandonment wounds, eating disorders, addictive patterns, and chronic mind-body symptoms. Alongside individual therapy, I also offer the Reself Group Program, a 12-week structured journey designed to support emotional reconnection within a small, therapist-led group. It’s about creating a steady, supportive space where reflection, emotional regulation, and genuine internal change can unfold at your pace. If you’re looking for thoughtful, trauma-informed support on your healing journey, I would be honoured to walk alongside you. Please feel free to explore more about my work or reach out to arrange a free 20-minute consultation. Therapy is not about becoming someone else — it’s about returning to yourself.

I was thinking about dreams and what they represent. There are many theories, starting from Freud, who believed that dre...
04/01/2024

I was thinking about dreams and what they represent. There are many theories, starting from Freud, who believed that dreams were manifestations of repressed conflicts or desires. According to Freud, they often held a sexual nature. Meanwhile, Carl Jung delved into the collective unconscious, revealing archetypes and universal symbols.
I find comfort in both theories and feel that some dreams represent different parts of ourselves. For example, the main characters of the dream are parts of you, i.e. your desires, inner conflicts, traumas, patterns, regrets, and stuck emotions. On the other hand, dreams could also be a window into the collective unconsciousness, our ancestral memory and generational trauma stored in our body and passed by epigenetics. The question is how to recognise what is what and how to apply it for our own self-awareness and understanding.

What do you think of dreams?

Words are incredibly powerful. They have the ability to change someone’s life or even kill a life. They can be incredib...
03/01/2024

Words are incredibly powerful. They have the ability to change someone’s life or even kill a life. They can be incredibly healing or incredibly hurtful. However, I believe that words alone are not enough. The intentions behind those words are what truly matter. When we become aware of our own thoughts and emotions, we can better understand why we say the things we do. This awareness is our superpower, allowing us to change our own lives and the lives of those around us.

Winter holidays, including Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year, are often thought of as joyous and exciting times. However...
24/12/2023

Winter holidays, including Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year, are often thought of as joyous and exciting times. However, this is not always the case for many people, regardless of whether they have family or live alone. The holiday blues can affect a wide range of individuals.

Stresses Associated With New Year
The holiday season, especially the New Year, can be a stressful time for many people. It’s the end of the year, which means there are often work deadlines to meet, and the gloomy and dark weather doesn’t help. On top of that, there is the added pressure of buying gifts, decorating, and spending more money, all while trying to maintain a cheerful attitude. People also ask about your holiday plans, which can add to the pressure. As the year comes to an end, you may also be reflecting on your accomplishments and areas where you fell short.

If you take a step back, you may realise that you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed, and stressed out. You may have lists of things to do, along with secret hopes for better relationships, a better job, better health, and more. It’s important to stop being so critical of yourself, no matter what your role is in life, whether you’re a single parent, stay-at-home parent, happily married, single, a business owner, unemployed, or highly professional. These are just the roles we play, and it’s important to take care of ourselves and not put too much pressure on ourselves during the holiday season.

Childline: for children and young people under 19.Telephone: 0800 1111 (the number won’t show up on your phone bill)Webs...
24/12/2023

Childline: for children and young people under 19.
Telephone: 0800 1111 (the number won’t show up on your phone bill)
Website: https://www.childline.org.uk/

Kooth: free, safe, and anonymous online support for young people.
Website: https://www.kooth.com/

Samaritans: Offers confidential, 24-hour emotional support to anyone in crisis.
Telephone: 116 123
Website: www.samaritans.org

Young Minds: Provides information and advice on child mental health issues.
Website: www.youngminds.org.uk

Harmless: Specific information and advice for those who self-harm.
Website: www.harmless.org.uk

B-Eat (Beating eating disorders): Online support and a network of UK-wide self-help groups
to assist adults and young people in the UK with eating disorders.
Website: www.b-eat.co.uk

Papyrus (Prevention of Young Su***de): A UK charity dedicated to the prevention of su***de and the promotion of positive mental health and emotional well-being in young people.
Telephone: 0800 068 4141
Website: https://www.papyrus-uk.org/

Anxiety UK
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

How do you cope with unpredictable situations, such as a change of plans due to illness or rainy weather and so on? We w...
20/12/2023

How do you cope with unpredictable situations, such as a change of plans due to illness or rainy weather and so on? We were on a lovely cruise, the first one in my life, and the weather was horrific, raining for three days nonstop. The captain had to change the schedule. Therefore, we could not see different beaches and enjoy things that we looked forward to enjoy.

Observing the situation, I noticed how some people seem to be affected less by the change that is out of their control, and they still take the most out of the trip. They adapt and go with the flow. I would say those are the optimists. In our society, it is praised to be an optimist, smile to the difficulties and move on. It is a lovely attitude to life and definitely the most comfortable. However, I think it is also an inability to see, feel or allow other emotions, such as sorrow, sadness, anger and disappointment. Life is not only a happy, joyful event. Optimists, to their core, are dismissing and misplacing other emotions that are not comfortable to tolerate.
On the other hand, pessimists are people who expect and are ready for something wrong to happen. They are almost predisposed to feeling sadness and disappointment. In case of rainy weather, they would say, “Well, of course, I should have expected that something like that always happens to me!” They get stuck in a “bad” mood and struggle to let the emotion go. They do not like feeling sad and upset but cannot do anything about it.
And the third category of people are the realists. Those people with secure attachments can feel unpleasant emotions and deal with the disappointment of changing plans without dismissing anger and sorrow or getting stuck in disappointment.
How do you deal with the change of plans?

As Peter Levine said, “Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated caus...
04/12/2023

As Peter Levine said, “Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering.” I couldn’t agree more with this statement. Many of us have experienced at least small traumatic events, such as heartbreaks, social isolation, health issues, painful relationships with parents, partners, friends, and even ourselves. My purpose here is not to classify traumas but to bring awareness that what some event may seem insignificant to one person can be traumatic for another. Trauma is “an emotional injury”; it’s not just what happens to you, but what happens “inside of you” after a traumatic event.

A significant part of my work involves identifying traumatic experiences and releasing them from the system so they no longer cause emotional and physical suffering. It is a gorgeous moment when one can look trauma in the eyes and say, “You have no power over me anymore. I am not afraid. I am free to live my life as I want.”

Psychotherapy is not a profession. It is a devotion.When I meet new people and they ask me what I do for a living, the u...
16/11/2023

Psychotherapy is not a profession. It is a devotion.
When I meet new people and they ask me what I do for a living, the usual response is, “ Oh, so have you already analysed me?” accompanied by a nervous laugh :)). The truth is that I can and cannot switch off at the same time, plus my ADHD brain does not allow that :)) I LOVE doing what I am doing. It brings me clarity, satisfaction, and fulfilment, knowing that one person becomes balanced and more harmonious with themselves. That’s my Libra sign talking :))
At the same time, when I am not a therapist but just me, I love to chat, laugh about nothing, be ridiculous and even be silly. I miss that as the formality of my profession and often dealing with people in tremendous state or stress is not empling of being silly or funny.
Talking in IFS parts language, I welcome my silly social parts, so then the therapist parts can disconnect. After all, I am a human with a need for friendship and genuine connection. It is hard to overidentify with the therapist part as it leaves the self behind.
So to summarise, it is great to be in part, especially it’s helpful to have a social part, a therapist part, a rescuer part, a people pleaser part, even a depressive part, a perfectionist part and so on. However, behind the part hides the real true self and can’t wait to emerge and be discovered.

The other day, I came across an article about friendship by Marisa G. Franco. She categorised friends into eight types:1...
12/11/2023

The other day, I came across an article about friendship by Marisa G. Franco. She categorised friends into eight types:

1. Best friend - This type of friend is your closest ally, the one who remains loyal and intimate to you. The friend you can call in the middle of the night, and it is mutual.

2. Social friends - These are people you have much fun with but are not necessarily emotionally close to. They are great to have around for a good time.

3. Low-dose friends - These are the people you really like but in small doses. Perhaps you have different lifestyles or personalities, but it’s wonderful to meet up for a short burst.

4. Group friends - You may see each other in a group setting, but not necessarily alone.

5. Situational friends - Those you connect with through work, sports, hobbies, and other activities.

6. Interest friends - These are situational friends but based on a shared engagement and interest in a specific subject. They are more oriented towards fulfilment, business, and mentoring.

7. Life-long friends - These are the friends you’ve known for most of your life. They usually come from school or childhood, and even though they may move on to different social circles, they maintain their relationship and stay up-to-date with each other’s lives.

8. Life stage friends - These are the friends you connect with based on the stage of life you are in. For example, other family friends from children’s school, new parents, etc.

Having different types of friends helps us grow and learn. It’s important to have someone to share our joys and sorrows, to laugh with, and to lean on during tough times. Each type of friend brings their own unique perspective and value to our lives.

It is also important to remember that it is very hard for one person to fulfil all those roles. So if you like to do sports - call a situational friend. If you want to have a fun night out, call a social friend. Call your best friend if you want to have an intimate conversation.
Value your friends and celebrate the diversity they bring!

You know that feeling of inner emptiness, that deep void we often find within ourselves? It's been beautifully portrayed...
28/09/2023

You know that feeling of inner emptiness, that deep void we often find within ourselves? It's been beautifully portrayed in music, poetry, and movies, usually tied to unresolved or unrequited love. We've all seen Disney movies that teach us about the suffering that can come with true love right from our early days.

But here's my take: that suffering doesn't just come from not being loved by someone else; it runs much more profound. No amount of work, seeking someone's attention, dedicating yourself to children, or having a buzzing social life can ever truly fill that void. It's not something substances or fantasies can fix either. To me, inner emptiness is grieving the loss of the self. It happened sometime early in life when self made a decision to hide that gorgeous playful powerful energy. And sometimes we have to go through pain to get in touch with that gorgeous playful, powerful self again. But it is possible to get there through therapy.

Some people know that I use many different approaches in my work. Sometimes I laugh that I shape-shift with different cl...
17/09/2023

Some people know that I use many different approaches in my work. Sometimes I laugh that I shape-shift with different clients. Sometimes I am spiritual or very scientific and academic. In truth, I think I am both. I believe in energy and the collective unconsciousness; I believe in dreams. In fact, the night before my son broke his arm, I had a dream that I broke my arms :))) My family jokes about my intuition. But I am quite scientific and always use psychoeducation in my work. I believe in structure and academic education. I am a mix of beliefs, values, and approaches; that is why I am an integrative therapist.

Recently, more and more, I am working with the IFS model, and for some clients, it just makes a lot of sense. According to this approach, we believe that there is the self (soul, higher self, heart energy) that is an undamageable resource we are born with. I am sure you've felt it when you are calm, connected to friends and family, creative, confident, courageous, curious, and clear. You can notice it by how other people react toward you. When you are in the Self, people find you attractive, safe, and reassuring. They want to be in your company. St the same time you yourself feel clear and good and that you have choices in life. Your energy is lovely and pleasant; it radiates calmness and joy.

I will talk about other parts later, but for now, try to practice being in your higher energy. Imagine you are somewhere safe, like a forest, beach, mountains, your garden etc. Picture yourself walking around, taking in the air, connecting with nature, and feeling that you are enough, good, calm, strong, capable, and truly special just the way you are. Just feel that... If you are in that energy, you can feel that you are able to understand others without compromising yourself. Let me know if you could get to that state of calmness and clarity.

Address

Chigwell

Telephone

+447984656645

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when ReselfMe Psychotherapy posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Category