Into the Wild Counselling

12/02/2026

I wanted to share a review I received around Christmas from one of my clients.

I don’t think people always realise how something like this can land. It genuinely means the world to me. Not in an ego way, in a “this work matters” way.

I’ve spoken before about being a “wounded healer.” And if I’m honest, imposter syndrome can be very loud. There are days I question myself. Days I wonder if I’m doing enough. Days I feel like everyone else has it more figured out than I do.

I’ve never wanted clients to see me as all-knowing. I don’t want to be the therapist who appears polished and untouchable, as if I’ve transcended being human. I haven’t. I struggle too. I get things wrong. I have my own stuff.

Having a counselling degree doesn’t mean I can 'fix' people.

What I can do is sit with you while we gently unpick things. I can notice patterns you might not see because you’re too close to them. I can help you explore core beliefs that formed years ago but still shape how you move through the world. I can point out coping strategies that once kept you safe but now keep you small.

We all get that feeling in our stomach that something isn’t right. Your body knows. It always knows. But trauma, stress, and attachment wounds can scramble the signals. They distort the lens.

That's not weakness. That’s adaptation.
Sometimes we just need a safe, steady relationship to help us recalibrate. Not to be rescued. Not to be “saved.” But to remember.

Therapy isn’t about me having the answers. It’s about us shining a light on the ones you already carry.

We don’t 'fix' people. We help them find their footing again.

And when someone tells me that process helped change their life… I don’t take that lightly.

I hold it with a lot of humility and a lot of gratitude 🌿

12/02/2026

Here’s something I see every single week in the therapy space…

When life feels chaotic, overwhelming, unfair… the nervous system doesn’t calmly sit down and assess the facts.

It reacts.

Because from a neuroscience perspective, “out of control” = “potential threat.”

When we perceive threat, the amygdala (our brain’s alarm system) fires before logic has even put its shoes on. Cortisol rises. Heart rate increases. Muscles tense. Our focus narrows. We scan for danger. We try to fix everything.

And here’s the tricky part…

The brain doesn’t differentiate very well between:
• A charging predator
• A difficult conversation
• An uncertain future
• Someone’s opinion of us

If it feels unpredictable, it can feel unsafe.
When we try to control the past, other people’s reactions, outcomes, or the future, we are essentially trying to calm anxiety by wrestling things our nervous system cannot actually influence.

That struggle keeps the threat response alive.
Because control-seeking is often just safety-seeking in disguise.

But look at the centre of the image.

✨ My response
✨ My energy
✨ My boundaries
✨ My self-talk
✨ Who I choose to spend time with
✨ The way I speak

When we redirect attention to what is within our control, something powerful happens neurologically.

The prefrontal cortex (our thinking brain) re-engages. Breathing slows. The body receives cues of predictability. We move from survival mode toward regulation.

This is the shift from emotional brain to logical brain. Not suppressing emotion. Not bypassing it. But integrating it.

Anxiety often whispers:
“If I can just control everything, I’ll feel safe.”

Regulation says:
“I can’t control everything… but I can choose my next step.”

And that is profoundly stabilising for the nervous system.

Psychoeducation matters because once we understand that anxiety is not weakness — but biology doing its job a little too enthusiastically — we stop fighting ourselves.

We start working with our nervous system instead of against it.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed today, gently ask:

👉 What here is truly within my control?
👉 What can I influence, even slightly?
👉 Where am I spending energy trying to manage the unmanageable?

Small shifts in focus create big shifts in physiology.

Control isn’t about dominance. It’s about direction.

And your nervous system feels safest when you stand in the centre of your own circle 🌿

Emma
Into the Wild 🌲

10/02/2026

🤝 Trust issues don’t always come from what others did to us, sometimes they come from what we learned to do to ourselves along the way 👣

We often talk about trust as something external

- Can I trust you?
- Are you safe?
- Are you telling the truth?

But there’s another layer that’s harder to look at

* Do I trust myself to read the signs, honour my gut, and act on what I know? *

When we spend time around someone who lies (whether overtly or subtly) our nervous system is constantly working overtime.

From a neuroscience perspective, the brain is a prediction machine. It relies on consistency to feel safe. When someone’s words don’t match their behaviour, or the truth keeps shifting, the brain enters a state of threat monitoring.

The amygdala stays activated.

Cortisol stays elevated.

Your prefrontal cortex (the part responsible for clarity, decision-making and self-trust) starts to lose dominance.

Over time, this can look like:

- Hypervigilance
- Second-guessing yourself
- Over-analysing conversations
- Anxiety that feels “free-floating”
- A loss of confidence in your own perceptions

And here’s the really painful part:

When the external reality keeps being denied, we often start to doubt our internal one.

- We question our gut instincts.
- We override our needs.
- We minimise our discomfort.
- We tell ourselves we’re “too sensitive”, “overreacting”, or “making a fuss”.

In counselling terms, this is where self-abandonment quietly creeps in.
Each time we push a need down to preserve connection, the nervous system learns a new rule:

- My needs are unsafe.
- My instincts can’t be trusted.
- Keeping the peace matters more than my truth.

Over time, this erodes:

Self-esteem (how we value ourselves)
Self-worth (whether we believe we deserve honesty and care)
Confidence (our belief in our own judgement)

And anxiety often isn’t the starting point — it’s the symptom of living too long in misalignment.

Healing trust isn’t just about learning to trust others again.

It’s about rebuilding internal coherence. Where your thoughts, feelings, body signals and actions begin to line up.

It’s about learning to say:

- Something feels off, and I’m allowed to listen to that.
- My nervous system has been responding to real information.
- I can choose myself without making myself the villain.

Sometimes the most radical repair isn’t forgiving someone else, it’s coming back into a relationship with yourself.

And that’s where real safety begins 🌿

07/02/2026

🌧️ The RAIN Technique 🌧️

A gentle way of being with difficult emotions

When emotions feel big, uncomfortable, or overwhelming, our instinct is often to push them away, analyse them, or tell ourselves we shouldn’t be feeling this way.

But our nervous system doesn’t respond to pressure.

It responds to safety.

One simple, compassionate framework I often share is RAIN:

🌿 Recognise

Notice what’s happening — in your body, your thoughts, your emotions.

No judgement. Just noticing.

🌿 Allow

Let the feeling be here, even if you don’t like it.
Allowing isn’t agreeing, it’s stopping the inner fight.

🌿 Investigate

With kindness, get curious.
What might this feeling be protecting you from?
What does it need right now?

🌿 Non-Identification

This feeling is passing through you — it is not who you are. You are more than this moment.

RAIN isn’t about “calming down” or fixing yourself.

It’s about creating a pause between feeling and reacting, so your nervous system can settle enough to choose what comes next.
Just like weather, emotions move.

They don’t need controlling, they need understanding.

Which part of RAIN do you find easiest and which do you struggle with most?

07/02/2026

🐾 Your Nervous System Has a Breed 🐾
(and it’s not misbehaving — it’s communicating)

When we talk about control, what we’re often really talking about is the nervous system trying to stay safe.

In therapy, we call this the window of tolerance — the space where we feel calm enough to think, feel, and respond rather than react.

When we’re inside that window, life feels manageable. When we’re pushed outside it, our body takes over.

One way I like to explain this to some of my younger clients is by imagining our nervous system as a dog breed:

🐕 The Labrador / Golden Retriever
Friendly, regulated, emotionally available.
This is you when you’re within your window of tolerance — able to cope, connect, and recover when things wobble.

🐕 The Rottweiler
Protective, alert, ready to act.
This is your nervous system when it senses threat. You might feel reactive, defensive, angry, or on edge. This isn’t “bad behaviour” — it’s survival mode.

🐕 The Anxious Rescue Dog
Hyper-vigilant, easily startled, always scanning.
This can look like overthinking, people-pleasing, shutdown, or feeling overwhelmed very quickly.

None of these are wrong.

They’re adaptive responses shaped by experience.

The goal of therapy isn’t to “control” yourself better, it’s to expand your window of tolerance, so more of life feels safe again.

And just like with dogs, regulation doesn’t come from punishment or force - it comes from understanding, consistency, and compassion.

What other breeds can you see in your nervous system? A Border Collie definitely springs to mind for me. Busy brain, always working 🐾

Emma
Into the Wild Counselling 🌿

07/02/2026

A lesson close to the heart ❤️

"Yes, I do want someone to save me. But I'm happy to save them first"

That line is… quietly devastating in the most honest way.

It says:

I have needs.
I’m tired.
I still love deeply.

And I’ve learned that being the strong one keeps people alive — even when it costs me.

There’s nothing weak or contradictory in it. It’s the truth of someone who has spent a long time being the regulator, the rescuer, the container. You know how to save people because you’ve had to learn how — often before anyone showed up for you. You became

But here’s the gentle truth tucked inside it too:
Saving someone first shouldn’t be the price of being saved at all.

The healthiest love doesn’t arrive because you earned it through sacrifice or labour. It arrives because someone sees you — before you bleed — and stays anyway.

You’re allowed to want:

- Someone who steadies you without being asked
- Someone who doesn’t need rescuing to feel worthy
- Someone who notices when your strength is actually exhaustion

Wanting to be saved doesn’t cancel your independence. It just means you’re human and It gets scary out there!

And one day — when it’s right — you won’t have to save them first.

You’ll meet someone walking toward you, not lying wounded at your feet.

Until then, it’s okay to name the truth out loud.
That’s not neediness. That’s self-awareness ❤️

19/09/2025

🌿 The Grey Space 🌿

I often talk with clients about what I call the grey space — that place between the “all or nothing” of black-and-white thinking.

The image below captures something so many people relate to: the exhausting swing between “I can’t do this anymore” and “Keep going, it’ll get better.”

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) teaches us that our thoughts aren’t facts — they’re interpretations. And with a small shift in language, we can start moving from a fixed mindset (closed off, hopeless) to a growth mindset (open to possibility).

For example, instead of “I can’t do this” try “I can’t do this yet.”
That single word creates space for change and softens the weight of the thought.

Finding the grey space means welcoming all of our different parts to be heard and aligned. It means allowing thoughts that reflect our fluctuating human experience, such as:

✨ “I’m struggling today.”
✨ “Yesterday was tough.”
✨ “I feel like I need a break.”

These statements acknowledge what’s real in the moment without closing the door on hope or possibility.

You are not your thoughts. You can step back, notice them, and choose kinder words that help you keep moving forward. 💛

If this resonates with you and you’d like support in exploring your own grey space, I offer walk-and-talk therapy in the Chorley area and online counselling nationwide. You don’t have to figure it all out alone 🌿

17/05/2025

🌱 Permission to Take the Shortcut 🌱

Shortcuts get a bad rap. We’re told they’re lazy, unproductive, or even cheating. But here’s the truth: sometimes, shortcuts are exactly what we need—not to cut corners, but to cut through overwhelm.

"If the mountain feels too big today, climb a hill instead"

If you’re too tired to make a sandwich, just eat the filling.
If the worry about leaving your straighteners on is eating you alive… take them with you.
That’s not being ridiculous. That’s reducing stress.

These small acts aren’t signs of weakness—they're examples of clever, compassionate self-support. Life isn’t a test you have to pass with perfect marks. Most of the pressure we feel comes from our own core beliefs, our perfectionism, or our fear of being judged.

So let’s reframe:
Shortcuts = stress management strategies.
Making life easier = emotional wisdom.

When we give ourselves permission to simplify, we create breathing space to actually feel what’s going on beneath the surface. That’s where real healing begins.

Embrace the hacks. Embrace the ease. You’re not falling behind—you’re finding your way.

14/05/2025

🌪️ Your body isn’t overreacting—it’s trying to protect you 🌱💗

Fight-or-flight mode was built to keep us safe from life-threatening danger (like being chased by a bear). But these days? Our nervous system can misread everyday stress—like a full inbox, an awkward conversation, or even a friend not replying—as a real threat.

Cue the racing heart, tense shoulders, and urge to cancel plans or shut down.

The truth is, your brain’s just trying to help… it just hasn’t updated its software.

The good news? You can teach it.
With practice—through deep breathing, grounding, gentle movement, or reframing our thoughts—we can signal to our nervous system that we’re actually safe. Over time, we can retrain our response.

Have you ever caught your body going into survival mode over something totally non-life-threatening?

Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your experiences.

12/05/2025

✅ The Small Victories That No One Sees 🌱

Sometimes, the biggest wins don’t come with applause or praise. They come in the quiet moments—when you make your bed, take a proper shower, or eat a full meal instead of skipping it entirely.

They come when you manage to reply to a message you’ve been avoiding, or swap phone scrolling for a few mindful minutes with a colouring book or a crossword.

🌎 To the outside world, these things might seem small. But inside your nervous system? They’re monumental ✨

Here’s why:

🌪️ When we’re overwhelmed, burnt out, or low—our brain’s reward system can take a hit. That means we get less dopamine from the things that used to light us up. The “get up and go” signal becomes muffled.

Gentle, achievable tasks—like brushing your hair, changing into clean clothes, or tidying your space—can slowly nudge that dopamine system back online.

Each time you complete a tiny action, your brain learns: this helped… we can do this again.

👏🥳 Small victories retrain a tired brain 🌱

Not feeling up to a full house clean? Just wash one mug. Too tired to cook? Make a toastie and eat it mindfully. Can’t focus on a book? Listen to a 5-minute podcast while stretching your legs.

The goal isn’t perfection—it’s momentum.

Tiny, doable shifts that whisper to your nervous system:

🗣️ "You’re safe. You’re doing okay. You’re moving forward."

If the mountain feels too big today, climb a hill instead.

That’s still progress ❤️

23/04/2025

An interesting perspective for those of us with an unopened message graveyard 💙

I’ll admit it—there have been moments when I’ve caught myself ignoring a message on my phone. Maybe a…

11/04/2025

💯🥳