11/12/2025
Oh dear its not 9am and I'm already fired up and furious!!
I read a nursery report on a child Im meeting next week, that really highlights a common misunderstanding in nurseries and early years settings.
A 4-year-old, autistic little boy was pulling an adult’s hand towards the toy he wanted. The staff responded with “Stop. Use your words/signs,” and then tried to make him sign.
But here’s the thing… he was communicating!!!!!!
Pulling a hand towards a desired object is intentional, meaningful communication. He had a message, he expressed it clearly, and the adult understood it.
*That’s communication.
*That should be valued and acknowledged. Not stopped.
When we dismiss a child’s authentic communication attempts, we risk teaching them that their way of expressing themselves isn’t acceptable. For some children, especially those who are developing language and communication differently, gestures, actions and body movements are their language right now.
Instead of shutting it down, adults can:
Acknowledge the communication: e.g.“Oh, you want the car! Let’s get the car.”
Model language/signs naturally: “Car! You want the car,” while showing the sign or word.
Follow the child’s lead and build connection through the communication they can use.
No child should have to “earn” communication by using a specific modality. Our job is to meet them where they are and model the language we hope they’ll grow into — without pressure, frustration or demands.
Early years settings do an amazing job, but this is an area where many need more training. Communication is FAR more than words or signs — it’s any behaviour that sends a message to another person.
Let’s celebrate all the ways children communicate.
Every gesture counts. Every attempt matters.
Im going to have a coffee, celebrate the fact I managed not to swear, stare out of the window a bit and try to calm down before my first assessment session this morning. :-)
