The Mindful Counsellor

07/03/2026

Tomorrow is International Women’s Day.

Rather than only celebrating women we admire from afar, I want to offer a small challenge.

For the next 24 hours, practise intentional sisterhood.

Notice the women around you — the ones doing the hard work of living, caring, creating, surviving and showing up.

Then do one of these things:

• Send a message to a woman who has supported you and tell her exactly what it meant.
• Speak a genuine compliment to a woman you might normally stay silent around.
• Recommend another woman’s work, business, or creativity publicly.
• Stand beside a woman whose voice isn’t being heard and help amplify it.
• Forgive yourself for not being perfect — and extend the same grace to another woman.

None of this requires a march or a microphone. though feel free to do that too!

Just courage in small moments in small ways that bring shifts.

The truth is that most of the strength women give each other happens quietly — in texts, in kitchens, in offices, in friendships, in the simple act of saying “I see you.”

And those moments matter more than we realise.

So tomorrow, let’s practise lifting one another a little higher.

Tag a woman who makes the world feel kinder, braver or more possible. 💜

Because when women rise, they rarely rise alone. And we need women’s input so much.

07/03/2026

When we moved house, I got tired! Not dramatic collapse or anything. Just that familiar feeling of being lethargic, tired, not-myself. And I noticed I just didn't want to go out... At ALL! I was in conservation mode....

And like most people, the first thought that popped up was: **“Right… what do I need to do to fix this?”** More yin yoga? More nice regulating breathwork to reset energy? More walks to get in nature? More “regulating my nervous system amidst the boxes”?

Basically: **What should I 'DO' to recover my mojo energy?**

But because of I've been here in the ADHD boom-bust cycle many times, I knew when these old patterns arose that the answer was not doing anything! Sometimes the fastest way back to normal isn’t 'adding coping tools'. It’s 'removing pressure.'

I could open the boxes that were annoying my sense of order… or I could sit by the window with a cup of tea, look out at the fields, and mentally add “open boxes” to the 'not-doing-this-week' list.

So that’s what I did. Boxes stayed closed. Guess what? My nervous system settled. My energy recovered. And interestingly, there’s research behind this.

One well-known stress model in psychology (the Job Demands–Resources model) shows that stress rises when life demands outstrip the resources we have to deal with them. One of the most effective ways to reduce stress isn’t always learning more coping strategies — it’s reducing the demands themselves.

Another line of research, called cognitive load theory, shows the brain only has limited processing capacity. When we’re juggling too many tasks, decisions, and expectations, the system simply gets overloaded. So adding to that is only going to exacerbate things. It's why I try to avoid 'in between session tasks' for those with burnout.

And then there’s a fascinating study published in Nature by Adams and colleagues in 2021 called People Systematically Overlook Subtractive Changes. They found that when humans try to improve situations (e.g. improve writing or a lego model (or let me add in interior design as that's on my mind!), we instinctively add things rather than remove them — even when removing something would work better.

Which rings very true in real life. We add routines; add habits; add my personal loathed new year resolution and add self-improvement plans.

But rarely do we ask: "What could I take off my plate for a bit?”

Sometimes the most regulating thing you can do for your nervous system isn’t another practice.

It’s deciding that some stuff and some boxes can stay closed this week and off the doing list. Not allowing 'doing' more to control us is sometimes the way to recovery and improvement.

Enjoy your Saturday...and 'not-doing'.

04/03/2026

A few pics from our retreat. What a lovely place to share connection and rest and laughter. Shared with permission.

01/03/2026

Emotional regulation is a skill. One of the most well-researched skills in modern psychology. And like any skill — it can be learned, practiced, and built into daily life and make a difference to your health and happiness.

Get in touch if you’re interested in one to one sessions teaching you holistic regulation tools to support you through grief, overwhelm, parenting, divorce, burnout etc. New clients now being accepted online or in person in Broome, Shropshire

Image by Angie Villiers taken at my Women’s Circle

27/02/2026

Wisdom as I arrive in Harlech to prepare for my retreat starting Sunday. It’s from Thay…

“People should learn how to just be there, doing nothing.
Try to spend a day doing nothing; we call that a “lazy day”.
Although for many of us who are used to running around from this to that, a lazy day is actually very hard work! It’s not easy to just be. If you can be happy, relaxed, and smiling when you’re not doing something, you’re quite strong.
Doing nothing brings about quality of being, which is very important. So doing nothing is actually something."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

26/02/2026

Menopause and aging as women post

I went on an ‘Aging Mindfully’ retreat a few weeks ago and since then I’ve been reading about Germaine Greer. She was 52 when she wrote a very radical book about menopause — nearly 30 years ago now.

Fifty-two. Already an established academic. Already very clever, outspoken, radical. Already often hated for her work The Female Eu**ch. And then she wrote openly about her own experience as an ageing woman moving through menopause.

What struck me is something I can completely identify with — both personally and in my therapy room.

Menopause is not just body and hormones (though honestly, the joint pain has floored me at times). It’s not just hot flushes and broken sleep.

It’s identity.

In her book she described the subtle cultural shift. The way a woman past fertility gets repositioned. Not because she’s less capable. But because she no longer fits the cultural mould — young, agreeable, attractive, fertile, easy.

And in my view, we still live in a culture that quietly ties a woman’s worth to youth, softness, desirability and how comfortable she makes other people feel.

So when menopause arrives, it doesn’t just crash in physically. It shows up psychologically. Relationally. Socially.

For me, there was a moment of clarity. I realised I was no longer interested in auditioning for anyone’s approval. (If I’m honest, that desire was never that strong to begin with.) I consciously decided to “do me” — and let others manage their response.

But that shift can rattle things.

For years many of us have thrived being:
– the good one
– the capable one
– the attractive one
– the peacemaker
– the one who smooths things over
– the caring, maternal, self-sacrificing one

And then something changes.

Your tolerance drops.
You don’t want to laugh at things that aren’t funny. In fact, you want to challenge them.
You don’t want to keep the peace if the peace costs you.
You don’t want to soften hard truths just to protect someone else’s comfort.

And suddenly you’re “a bit sharp.”
Or “less warm.”
Or “hard work.”
Or “selfish.”
Or “rude.”

Or perhaps worse — you’re overlooked. Marginalised. Stereotyped.

That can hurt. It can make you sad. It can make you angry. Especially if being liked has been part of how you survived and succeeded.

But here’s the reframe I gently offer.

Maybe you’re not becoming difficult. Maybe you’re becoming honest.

Maybe menopause isn’t a loss or a failing. Maybe it’s the point in life where you stop contorting yourself around other people’s expectations — and that is not loss. That is gain.

That doesn’t mean the physical side is easy. The anxiety spikes. The tears that come from nowhere. The exhaustion. The pain. I see it weekly — and I’ve felt how it can disrupt functioning.

But underneath it, I also see something emerging.

Clarity.
Stronger boundaries.
Less appetite for nonsense.
More appetite for meaning.

It can feel destabilising because other roles are shifting too. Children grow up. Careers change. Relationships are tested. The mirror reflects something different.

And the question comes — and it can wobble you:

If I’m not performing youth, fertility or niceness… who am I?

But I’m starting to believe that isn’t a crisis. It’s a rite of passage. A threshold into elderhood.

You are not less valuable because you’re no longer oriented around pleasing.

You are not wrong for being direct.

You are not failing because you’re tired of carrying everyone else and want a slower, truer life.

You may simply be done performing what was expected of a younger woman.

And although that can feel uncomfortable in a culture that prefers older women to go quiet, it isn’t decline.

It’s consolidation. It’s integration. It’s a woman standing more firmly in herself which is often for a first time!

I feel that in my own aging self — less interested in approval, much more interested in alignment and joy that is mine.

And that shift? Wow! It’s not something to apologise for. It’s to be celebrated and is precious.

If you’re struggling with any of the issues raised, please do get in touch. I’ve just relocated to Near Craven Arms from Malvern, but offer online or hybrid sessions too. Check out my website to book a free chat. I have client spaces having just moved. Www.mymindfulcounsellor@gmail.com" rel="ugc" target="_blank">Www.mymindfulcounsellor@gmail.com or email for a call back mymindfulcounsellor@gmail.com

24/02/2026

No new news sadly… The Royal College of Psychiatrists has warned that England is facing a mental health crisis of “pandemic proportion.”

The numbers are stark:

• 4.1 million people were in contact with NHS mental health services in 2024–25 — up 56% since 2016–17.
• The number of children and young people needing support has risen by 118%.
• Urgent referrals to crisis teams have surged, with mental health beds running at 95–97% capacity.
• Mental health accounts for around 20% of the national disease burden — yet receives less than 9% of NHS funding.

In plain terms?
Many people are only getting help when things have already reached breaking point.

That’s lives ruined when help could turn things around. It literally makes my stomach churn!

When support only arrives at crisis level, we miss the opportunity for early intervention — relational work that can even prevent relapse, that could reduce the deeper anxiety spiral, and help people feel stable before they fall apart and need even more support.

Seeking support early and getting access to it, is not dramatic, indulgent or flakey.

It is wise, protective and makes economic sense.

You do not have to wait until you are in A&E with a panic attack.
You do not have to be unable to eat, sleep, or function before you “qualify” for care or need it.
You do not have to prove you are ‘bad enough’.

Therapy is not only for crisis. It’s for prevention and to help at early points of need.

It’s for understanding patterns before they harden. It’s for catching anxiety when it’s still manageable, not when it’s running your life.

If anything, these findings show how vital community-based, relational, consistent support really is. Early conversations change trajectories. Calm nervous systems reduce emergency referrals. Steady weekly space prevents escalation.

If you’ve been quietly thinking, “I’m coping… but it’s hard,” that’s enough of a reason.

Crisis care is essential — but prevention is powerful.

And you deserve help before things spiral.

Read the whole non news here :

The Royal College of Psychiatrists says services are overwhelmed, underfunded, and forcing patients to wait until crisis point for care.

24/02/2026

New to the area and taking on new clients. I’m an anxiety therapist working in person, near Craven Arms or online.

This is a review shared today, on Google, following support to address a debilitating health anxiety, which the client was able to overcome and get her life back, booking holidays, full return to work and planning all sorts of things for her future again. Change is possible. This client had just 9 sessions. Please check out my other reviews on my webpage for more hope and a favour of how I work.

I work with anxiety, phobias, life transitions, burnout and other issues impacting women, children and young people.

I am a relaxed and down to earth, welcoming therapist that works holistically sharing tools (breathwork, tapping, mindfulness, yin approaches, coaching) if required as well as traditional talking therapy and counselling. This helps people feel better often faster than one approach alone as it’s holistic.

Please get in touch to book in if you’re interested mymindfulcounsellor@gmail.com leave me your contact and I will be in touch.

22/02/2026

7 days to go to retreat in Harlech.. Couldn’t resist sharing this. The post box is always decorated. Love this new one! I’ve been planning menus this week… And first up on arrival day, I’m thinking a roast chicken dinner to get us started.

19/02/2026

A room says a lot about the attitudes and approach of the therapist!

I’ve been setting up my therapy room after my move this week from Malvern to near Craven Arms.

A few small changes make a big difference — still got to find my lamps for warmer lighting and hang the cosy burgundy curtains to soften the space.

It’s always so important to me that my room feels calm, private and grounded rather than bland or clinical. I want it to feel welcoming, relaxed and invite everyone who comes to feel comfortable and welcomed, from my heart. I’m told my cups of tea were the best in Worcestershire. I’m hoping to gain that compliment for Shropshire! They’re always made with heart.🩷

I’m now taking on new face-to-face clients in Broome, Shropshire, and continuing to offer online and hybrid sessions for any Malvern clients who wish to work with me from recommendations.

If you’re considering starting, and hoping to find a counsellor who is warm, practical and holistic, you’re welcome to get in touch or check my reviews on my website.
www.mymindfulcounsellor.com

18/02/2026

Using AI for emotional support - Interesting balanced wise read.

https://www.samaritans.org/news/using-ai-for-emotional-support-is-it-safe/?fbclid=IwdGRjcAP39NdleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEeWJSYjSo5BHUe92coB_LZYjD0DlZmr2sAmok24-ZEtkwUEtcjAQ_3TDPoXus_aem_4eWCcxYdluTROhXnzYL7yA

17/02/2026

Thank you for my well wishes and reminder of my timing, Nina - it all means a lot but I particularly love my timing… Today is new moon, solar eclipse and first day of fire horse! Always had good timing lol..,

🌑 New Moon

A new moon traditionally symbolises beginnings, intention-setting and planting seeds. In psychological terms, it’s a powerful archetype: darkness, stillness, potential. Many people choose this time to reflect on what they’re stepping into and what they’re leaving behind.

🌒 Solar Eclipse

A solar eclipse occurs when the Moon passes between the Earth and the Sun. Across cultures, eclipses have been seen as moments of disruption and realignment — endings that create space for something new. Astrologically, they’re often described as “accelerated change points”. Whether or not you take that literally, they can feel symbolically potent: something hidden, something revealed.

🔥 Year of the Fire Horse

In Chinese cultural lore, the Fire Horse year carries energy of independence, intensity, boldness and transformation. It’s considered powerful, sometimes even volatile — strong movement, strong will, strong change.

What it might mean for you
The symbolism is striking:
• New moon – clean slate
• Solar eclipse – turning point
• Fire Horse – courage, momentum, forward movement

I’m leaving a home that held healing and rest for me and others, stepping into something new. There’s grief and growth braided together — and that’s exactly what eclipse symbolism captures: light and shadow coexisting.

Psychologically, rituals and timing markers matter because they help the nervous system integrate change.

Moving house is one of the biggest life stressors — even when it’s wanted.

Noone needs cosmic permission for this next chapter. But it’s rather lovely that the sky appears to be putting on a ceremony anyway.