Open Minds Highland Counselling

03/12/2021

When we struggle psychologically we can lose sight of ourselves and our purpose. This can bring on a crisis of confidence which can make us feel extremely vulnerable. Some may swallow this emotion in an attempt to 'toughen up', others recognize the opportunity it gives for inner growth.

"Vulnerability isn’t good or bad: It’s not what we call a dark emotion, nor is it always a light, positive experience. Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living." (Brene Brown, Professor of Social Research).

Accepting our vulnerability is a necessary part of our emotional well-being, allowing us to be open to other perspectives on our issues.

24/11/2021

We get a ‘Mixed Bag’ in the Festive Season

The weeks leading up to the festive season can put us in a positive or negative frame of mind depending on the meaning it holds for us. The spiritual significance for some and/or the anticipation of connecting with family and friends, exchanging gifts and sharing good food can result in a positive outlook. For others it can bring on feelings of negativity for all sorts of reasons. For instance, overwhelm about the practicalities or even being reminded of dysfunctions in family relationships can make us dread Christmas making us stressed or depressed about how we are going to cope. Looking ahead, although some individuals can anticipate the subsequent winter months in a positive light, often it can result in feelings of dread and despondency. The reduced sunshine and daylight, restrictions on outdoor activity and having more time to think about our issues are just some of the reasons.

At times like these one of the most effective tools at our disposal is talking about our feelings to those we can trust. It is important for us to have support from family and friends when we are feeling emotionally vulnerable. Sharing your problems at this time of year with someone you know will truly listen can release a huge amount of mental burden and help you gain clarity which is a significant step towards emotional well-being.

However, there can be barriers to being open about certain thoughts and feelings to those close to us. Talking to a trained listener, who can be objective and accept the issues you share in a compassionate and judgemental way is hugely beneficial. There is also a process which occurs when you verbalise bottled up thoughts and feelings, somehow you hear them in a different way. They can take on another meaning for you so can be a powerful way for you to gain a different perspective on what’s troubling you.

If you feel counselling would be of benefit to you at this time of year I can arrange a session for you at my room in Tain. You can contact me via email on openmindshighland.co.uk or call me on 07943449731.

29/09/2020

A good friend shared this post which pretty much sums up our psychological struggles during the pandemic. Worth reflecting on.

16/09/2020

Sharing your problems eases mental burden. Counsellors are coached to listen and listen well. Talking to a trained professional who is committed to understanding your issues in a non-judgmental and compassionate way will help you find clarity.

07/09/2020

28/08/2020

Online counselling support for older teenagers or adults suffering from anxiety or depression.

Help with issues of bereavement.

Support to those suffering from addiction.

24/08/2020

The Purpose of Crying

When crying as children we may have been told by parents or other care-givers to “Come on dry your eyes!” or “For pity’s sake stop crying!”. So as we grew we learned it was not the social norm to cry in public and may even have felt a sense of shame if we did. As a counsellor, my clients have often broke down in the therapy room when things get too emotional, this gives them much comfort as it is their safe space to do this. Some would apologise, a little embarrassed that they have shown their ‘weakness’ and might say something along the lines of “This isn’t me, I’m a strong person and usually more together than this”. However, have we ever seriously thought about the physiological purpose crying serves? As we will see, in more recent years research has shown the benefits of having a good cry.

Trying to hold back tears might mean you are robbing yourself of a range of benefits. Apart from an obvious social benefit of rallying emotional support from others, when we express our emotions or stress by crying it reduces the levels of toxic chemicals in our body because tears contain a level of stress hormones, which can result in a reduction of stress. So crying has a soothing effect, we are essentially self-soothing. The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) serves as a relaxant and crying activates this. Crying also releases oxytocin and other endorphins which can help ease pain and lift someone’s mood. Other physiological benefits include, fighting bacteria for good eye health, improving vision by keeping the eyes moist and aiding sleep. We instinctively know that having a good cry can be cathartic, a watershed of stress that relieves tension. It is a healthy behaviour. Neuroscientist William Frey, a key researcher in this area, states that it is an important way to alleviate stress, which, if left unchecked can have a detrimental effect on our health, leading to heart problems and other stress-related disorders.

So rather than feeling overwhelmed and bottling it all up we should be kind to ourselves and seek a supportive shoulder to cry on or a private space to let it all come out.

(information taken from https://www. medicalnewstoday.com and http://www.agingcare.com).

Maggie Mercer - Counsellor & Psychotherapist

(I practice my counselling work from my room at Shandwick Bay in the Seaboard Village of Shandwick. I can offer face to face counselling or on-line Zoom sessions. For more information and to enquire about rates you can visit www.openmindshighland.co.uk or you can telephone me on 07943449731).

Maggie Mercer DipHE. Counsellor. Shandwick (Tain, Ross-shire, Highlands of Scotland). Anxiety– Stress– Depression– Bereavement – Low self-esteem – Exploring your feelings around personal relationships or navigating life changes.