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The Rising Phoenix, Denby Dale (2026)

13/04/2026

Crushing Tides
Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes

The crushing tides of clarity crash down
no warning
Just sudden realisation
that you were the one all along

oh
How i miss you
How I love you
How i long for you

I knew i felt it,
I just buried it,
I always felt it.

I kept the door cracked open
not closed
never closed

Hoping
Waiting
that you would come back in
as the man i knew you to be

You tried to come back, you waited
but we fought
again and again

It hurt so much
I just couldn’t let you in then

I wish i had

I wish we had done so many things differently
I wish we prioritised us
Sorted our s**t out sooner
instead of letting the darkness
consume us

It was always you

No amount of parties
No distractions
No noise
could stop these feelings
they just kept finding me
pulling me back
to you

Now there’s this storm
waging war in my heart

and i keep asking
why did we let it fall apart?

Why did we let others interfere
create chaos we couldn’t withstand.

Why didn’t i fight harder?
Why didn’t i stay?
Why didn’t you choose me, stand by me
and show me it was safe to stay?
Why did we hurt each other at all?

When we were supposed to be it
The love of our lives
our greater love story
the one we had been waiting for

Now all i’m left with
is missing you

Wanting to rest my head on your chest
bury my face in your neck
feel you hold me tight
hear you tell me
it’s gonna be okay

Because it used to be

I’m here
Im open
Im ready

So where are you?
Is this really gone?
Are we now just
a memory once lived

Yet here i am
Waiting
Hoping
Holding on to the ghosts of us.

Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes

13/04/2026

Hello World by Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes
The journey…

There once was a girl who was broken and lost, she trudge through wars, fought demons and lost. To the outside world she was happy, confident and sure of herself yet no one could see the pain she carried inside. After fighting battle after battle Her weary soul surrendered into the darkness inside, she stayed there for a while. Naked, Broken & Ashamed, letting the darkness consume her beautiful heart & soul, the darkness became her armour but made her very cold, she had shut down, shunned away love, joy, she had even forgotten how to play, she could no longer see the beauty of herself, she lost her spark, She was lost in the darkness, cursed by those she loved who had used and betrayed her over and over again, She felt lost and hopeless.
In the depths of the darkness a single ray of sunshine fell across her face as a voice whispered “you can do this, you’re so brave”
She climbed to her feet and brushed the dirt off her knees, the sun shone a little brighter as she looked up at the giant mountain that had appeared, in that moments she knew she had to climb. There were challenges she had to face, fears she had to grace. she began to race through challenges of mind, memories surfaced, hidden behind doors she had foraged to hide, Facing her wounds from childhood years and trauma cause by those who’s only goal was to overpower her, filling her head with conditioning that said ‘abuse is love’ Tarnishing her worth and making her feel small, saying she really had no value at all, yet they stole her light to make themselves feel tall. They broke her down piece by piece until she fell like nothing at all. Broken, lost & unsure of where to go, in the pit of darkness a light began to glow, the strength inside her began to grow “no more!” she shouted.
“That’s it” the voice said, “the first steps have been taken”… so she took another step, and another and another until she began to climb this huge mountain in front of her. As she climbed, the darkness began to disperse. With each challenge conquered she began to see the truth, there was a light inside her so bright. It had been hidden beneath the murky fog of lies created by those around her, they tried to hide her light and take it for themselves. She was worthy after all! Infant she was more valuable than she ever imagined, her light now shining brightly inside her, it came from her heart. Her heart was the prize they wanted for themselves because of the way she loved “That’s right, my dear, you are the embodiment of love” the voice said.
As the girl continued to climb the mountain, she was over halfway now, she began to realise more and more about herself and her purpose on this planet, she had a destiny she was a healer sent to spread love & joy in a world so full of hatred and heartache. Her past was part of a greater plan, she had to break to be reborn, she had to feel the deepest pain so she could understand the deepest purest form of love she held within herself. The girl began to see her worth, she began to value herself and vowed she would always love and respect herself going forwards.
As the girl reached the top of the mountain she could finally see the beauty within herself, embracing all that she is, she had come so far and from here the air was pure, she realised she had so many gifts to share with the world, not only did she embody a pure form of love, she was passionate and creative, she was a warrior, a lover, a mother, she was a healer, a medicine woman who held spiritual gifts to help heal the world. But most importantly she realised she had finally came home to herself, she was beautiful inside and out. She is me.
I am love, I am strong, I am powerful, I am fearless!

By Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes

05/04/2026

🌿 Root & Rise – 1:1 Healing Session

If you keep noticing the same relationship patterns repeating… this session is for you.

Root & Rise is a 60-minute guided space to gently explore the emotional patterns shaping your current experiences.

Together, we uncover childhood-rooted dynamics, bring awareness to what’s beneath the surface, and begin grounding new understanding.

Using intuitive tarot as a reflective tool — alongside grounded energy work — I hold a safe, structured space for clarity and integration.

This isn’t about predicting your future.
It’s about understanding your patterns so you can consciously shift them.

You’ll leave feeling lighter, clearer, and more grounded.

Message me to book.

04/04/2026

Undaunted, Unbound, Unbroken by Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes

I choose myself.
Not what’s expected.
Not what pressures me.

I stand.
Firm. Unshaken.
My peace is mine.

I walk away from distortion,
from words that twist reality,
from hands that try to control.

I do not apologize
for protecting my heart,
for honoring my mind,
for keeping my soul intact.

Abuse has no foothold here.
Manipulation finds no home.

I have waited.
I have hoped.
I have wished them different,
prayed for change that never came.

I see now: the masks may shift,
the words may soften,
but the patterns remain.

I will no longer count the years
for them to become what I need.
I step away, not in fear,
not in anger,
but in quiet, unshakable power.

I am my own guardian,
my own boundary,
my own freedom.

Every step away
is strength remembered,
peace reclaimed,
life unbroken.

I am whole.
I am enough.
I am free.

10/03/2026

Being Held
Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes

For a long time
I was like an abused puppy
sitting in a cage.

Hurt.
Abandoned.
Left to learn the world alone.

The cage door opened
and a gentle hand
reached toward me.

Offering care.
Offering affection.
But I didn’t trust it.

Teeth bared.
Low growls in my chest.
Snarling at the kindness
being offered.

Because the hands I had known before
had not been so gentle.

So I stayed in the cage
watching.
Suspicious.
Guarded.
Ready to bite
if the wrong move was made.

But the hand didn’t disappear.
It didn’t force its way in.
It simply remained
steady
patient
kind.

Time passed.
Patience stayed.
Care stayed.

I ran.

Startled by the softness
I didn’t yet know how to trust.
Retreating
back into the shadows
of the cage
I had learned
to call safety.

But after sitting with my fears, healing
and seeing clearly
what had actually been offered

I returned.

He heard me.
He saw me in my mess
He Didn’t demanding answers.
He didn’t asking why I left.

He Just listened
Seeing me.
he remained
steady,
patient,
kind.
He accepted me as I am.

I realised
this hand
was different.

The growling softened.
The teeth disappeared.
Without even noticing
I stepped forward.
Resting my head
on his shoulder,
finally allowing myself to feel safe.

Instead of shadow
He brought light.
He brought laughter.

Shadow puppets dancing across the walls
in the glow of soft light.

Stories
shared in the quiet hours of night.

Moments so simple
they felt sacred.

That night
I tossed and turned in my sleep.
But every time I woke
His arms were still around me.
Holding me.

I stayed.
He took care of me.
Making me lunch.
Rubbing my back
Filling my hot water bottle

Our eyes meeting,
lingering a little longer each time,
as if our hearts were whispering
words we hadn’t spoken.

Beneath that quiet gaze
something warmer
began to grow.
Feelings
deepening
in ways I could no longer ignore.

Somewhere in the middle of it all
I realised something.
I wasn’t frightened.
I softened.
I surrendered.
I let myself
be cared for.

I had stayed in the cage
for far too long.
But now
I was out of it.

And for the first time
in a very long time
I allowed myself
to be held.

09/03/2026

Shamanic Healing – 1:1 Deep Session

For when awareness isn’t enough and you’re ready to move energy at the root.

These sessions are designed to support deeper emotional release, energetic recalibration, and grounded transformation.

Using traditional shamanic techniques alongside intuitive guidance, I hold a contained and steady space for you to safely process, clear, and integrate what’s been stored beneath the surface.

This is not surface-level insight.
It’s intentional, embodied work.

Shamanic healing can support:
• Stored emotional blocks
• Trauma held in the body
• Repeating energetic patterns
• Feeling disconnected or ungrounded

You’ll leave feeling clearer, more balanced, and reconnected to your inner strength.

£88 – 1:1 session
Message to book.

08/03/2026

Breaking Open
Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes

For a long time
my body carried beliefs
that were never truly mine.

Beliefs planted
in seasons of pain
I had to survive.

Beliefs my nervous system learned
in order to protect me.

You are too much.
You are not enough.
You are unlovable.
You are unworthy.

And somewhere along the way
my wild woman was chastised.

Her instincts questioned.
Her voice softened.
Her truth reshaped
until she learned
to explain herself
and apologise
for simply being.

They weren’t truth.
They were survival.

The quiet stories a wounded body tells itself
after living through things
it should never have had to endure.

So I carried them.
For years.

Until I stepped into a sacred goddess temple
surrounded by women
who held something different.

Presence.
Witness.
Sisterhood.

We breathed together.

Deep.
Slow.
Opening spaces in the body
I hadn’t touched in years.
I lay there open,
my vulnerability bared naked.

My body moving
in waves like a wild ocean
as the energy imprint
left my body.

But the moment that changed everything
didn’t come during the storm.
It came when the silence fell
as meditation settled over us,
the steady ground beneath me
holding my body.

And something inside me
began to move.
Nothing hidden.
Nothing protected.

Then the sobbing came.
My body shaking
as tears poured down my face
raw vulnerability
rolling,
shaking,
releasing.

Sounds escaped my throat,
unfamiliar sounds
my body had been holding for years —
not loud,
not quiet,
just the sound
of something finally
being let go.

Something ancient
leaving my body.
Grief
I didn’t know
was still living inside me.

And then I felt it.
A hand
resting gently
on my shoulder.
She didn’t speak.
But inside my mind
unspoken words appeared:

I’m here.
You’re safe.
Let go.

Silent permission.

And something inside me
that had been starving for years
broke open.

Not from the breath.
Not from the pain.
From the kindness.

In that moment
I realised something
I had never truly understood before.

I had been starving
for human connection.
So starved
that one small act of care
broke me wide open.

And all I wanted
in that moment
was to bury myself in her arms
and thank her
again and again
like a starved animal
finally being fed.

Because in that moment
my body remembered something
it had forgotten.
What it feels like
to not carry everything alone.

And as the grief moved through me
those old beliefs
began to loosen their grip.
Leaving my body
in waves of trembling release.

And when the storm settled
I realised something quietly powerful.
The woman standing there
had survived those things.
But they no longer
owned her.

And somewhere beneath the quiet
I felt her again —
the wild woman
who had never truly left,
only waited patiently
for the moment
she was finally free
to rise.

06/03/2026

Falling While Healing
Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes

They say love arrives like lightning,
sudden and bright,
a spark that ignites the heart without warning.

But no one tells you what it feels like
when love arrives
in the middle of healing.

When your heart is still learning
how to beat without flinching.

When every soft moment
is followed by a whisper from the past:

Careful.
Don’t get too close.
Remember what happened last time.

Because when you’ve been broken,
love doesn’t just open the heart.

It opens every wound
that was never allowed to close.

The voice that says
You’re not good enough.

The fear that someone will wake up one morning
and decide
you are too much
or not enough
or simply not worth the effort.

The quiet ache of abandonment
that sits beneath the ribs
waiting for the moment
someone might leave again.

So you learn to protect yourself.

You analyse.
You pull away.
You convince yourself it’s safer
to walk away first.

Because if you leave before they do,
at least the ending is yours.

But healing does something strange.

It softens the armour
you spent years building.

And suddenly someone appears
who doesn’t run
when you show them the cracks.

Someone who sees the fear
and stays anyway.

And that’s when the real work begins.

Because falling in love while healing
is not soft poetry and butterflies.

It’s standing in the doorway of your heart
with shaking hands
and choosing
to leave it open.

It’s letting someone see
the parts of you
that still believe they are unlovable.

It’s realising
that the greatest risk
is not loving someone.

It’s believing
you were never worthy of love at all.

So tonight I sit with this feeling,
this quiet, terrifying tenderness.

This moment where fear says
Run.

And my healing says
Stay.

Because maybe love
was never meant to arrive
when we are perfectly whole.

Maybe it arrives
while we are still learning
how to be.

And maybe the bravest thing
a wounded heart can do

is not protecting itself.

But opening again
anyway.

05/03/2026

The Quiet Weight of Burnout
Lilliana Mallinson-Boyes

Burnout doesn’t arrive all at once.

It creeps.

Not like a storm,
but like weight slowly settling
on your shoulders.

For weeks I’ve been holding everything.

Trying to keep life afloat.
Trying to keep stability for my child.
Trying to rebuild a life that once felt broken.

Trying to navigate healing
while still showing up for the world.

Learning how to reclaim myself
after years of giving too much of me away.

And even learning how to open my heart again
while I’m still piecing parts of myself back together.

From the outside it might look like strength.

And maybe it is.

But pressure has a way
of quietly collecting.

Every responsibility.
Every worry.
Every moment you say
“I’ll handle it.”

Until one day
your body finally speaks.

Not loudly.

Just heaviness in the chest.
A heart full of emotion.
A tiredness that runs deeper than sleep.

And suddenly the smallest things
feel like climbing mountains.

This is what people don’t understand about burnout.

It doesn’t mean you’ve stopped trying.

It means you’ve been trying
for too long
without putting the weight down.

And when you’re carrying it alone,
burnout can take over quietly.

Because some days
what you really need
is someone to say:

“You don’t have to do this by yourself today.”

Some days you wish someone would simply come
and take care of you for a while.

Not to fix everything.
Just to hold the weight
until you can breathe again.

Today I am not broken.

Today I am burnt out.

From carrying so much hope,
so much responsibility,
and so much healing
all at once.

And still, even in the exhaustion,
I keep going —
because little eyes are watching me
build a life from the ashes.

So today I move slower.

Today I allow the exhaustion
instead of fighting it.

Because burnout isn’t failure.

Sometimes it’s simply the body’s way of saying:

You’ve carried enough for now.

Put the weight down.
Breathe.
Rest.

The life you’re building
will still be there
when your strength returns.

If today feels heavy for you too,
you’re not the only one carrying it.

The Rising Phoenix

13/04/2026

13/04/2026

05/04/2026

04/04/2026

10/03/2026

09/03/2026

08/03/2026

06/03/2026

05/03/2026

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