23/12/2025
📢 Virtual advent calendar 📢
What is behind day 23's door 🚪
Day 23 - "THIS THOUGHT CAN WAIT" STRATEGY - Easing 'middle of the night mind spiraling'
You know the feeling. It’s 3am and your eyes pop open like someone flipped a switch. No sound, no nightmare — just the weight of your thoughts, keeping you wide awake in the middle of the night.
Your mind goes into overdrive: Did I send that text? Have they read my message yet? What if the cough my child had yesterday gets worse? I must remember to put a wash on when I get up! I wonder why my boss was in a bad mood yesterday, hope it wasn't because of me, and the overthinking list goes on and on.
This is called “middle-of-the-night mind spiraling.” It’s when the brain, tired of being quiet, turns on like a late-night talk show — except you’re the host, guest, and audience, and none of it is funny.
For years, I have been offering a four-word phrase to my counselling clients who speak of waking up in the middle of the night and find themselves stuck on board the overthinking night express train. The phrase 'this thought can wait' acknowledges the thought without fighting it. In most cases, clients report that it is really helpful for them.
Sometimes, the best way to solve a problem is to stop trying to do so at 3am. "This Thought Can Wait” works because it is so easy to remember at 3am.
This simple sentence packs a surprisingly powerful punch. When you say it to yourself — gently but firmly — it creates a boundary between you and your runaway thoughts. It doesn’t require solving, denying, or arguing with your brain. It just tells your overactive mind: Not now. You’re not suppressing thoughts; you’re postponing them.
You see, most night-time awakenings aren’t about real emergencies. They’re about a restless mind looking for problems to chew on. And when we engage those thoughts, even with the best intentions, we invite adrenaline and alertness right back into bed with us.
Why “This Thought Can Wait” Works
✨️ It’s short enough to remember at 3am.
✨️ It acknowledges the thought without fighting it.
✨️ It reinforces your power to pause—an under appreciated mental skill.
✨️ It reduces the urgency that fuels anxiety and insomnia.
Many people try to go back to sleep by thinking their way out of thinking. That rarely works. What does work is shifting from solving to soothing.
Tips to Use With the Phrase:
✨️ Pair it with your breath. Say the phrase silently on a slow inhale and exhale. Match it to your rhythm.
✨️ Repeat as needed. If your mind wanders again (it will), please feel free to return it. This isn’t failure; it’s training.
✨️ Visualise a “thought jar.” Imagine placing your worries in a container with a lid. If they still matter, you’ll open the container in the morning.
✨️ Avoid the scroll trap. Don’t reach for your phone. Blue light and rabbit holes make falling back asleep harder, not easier.
Night time awakenings are natural. What we do during them makes all the difference. “This Thought Can Wait” is not magic. It is a gentle mental cue that keeps the door to sleep cracked open.
Give it a go!
