05/03/2026
I’ve recently had surgery, and recovery has gently reminded me of something I often see in the therapy room.
How hard it can be to receive.
In families and relationships, we all take up positions. The capable one. The strong one. The organised one. The one who doesn’t need much.
These roles usually make sense. At some point, they were adaptive. They kept the system steady.
But over time, they can become fixed.
In therapy, we often notice what happens when someone who is used to holding everything together is invited to lean. To express need. To let someone else step forward.
It can feel exposing. Disorientating, even.
And yet, when one person shifts (even slightly)the whole relational pattern begins to move.
My own recovery has been a quiet reminder of this: that healing isn’t just about independence or resilience. Sometimes it’s about allowing ourselves to be part of the system in a different way.
And that can be surprisingly powerful.
- Kirstie