Rachel Ineson Independent Occupational Therapist

Rachel Ineson Independent Occupational Therapist Occupational Therapist and Advanced Sensory Integration Practitioner based in Durham UK.

Love this 😍😍. I can confirm that the clinic munchy balls are always VERY hungry! 😁
18/02/2026

Love this 😍😍. I can confirm that the clinic munchy balls are always VERY hungry! 😁

The best thing you will read today 🥰
07/02/2026

The best thing you will read today 🥰

What if the problem isn’t our children…but how much we demand of them?

Parenting neurodivergent children often means parenting very differently to how most of us were raised. For many families, that difference looks like a low demand, child-led approach and it’s one of the most misunderstood parenting styles out there.

Low demand parenting is often dismissed as 'letting kids get away with things' or 'lazy parenting'. In reality, it’s usually the opposite.

It’s hard.
It’s mentally exhausting.
And it requires far more reflection, regulation, and intentional decision-making than simply defaulting to rules, punishments, and 'because I said so'.

Low demand parenting means constantly checking in with yourself:

• Is this actually necessary?
• Is this about safety, or about control?
• Am I responding based on my child’s needs, or my own conditioning?
• Would I expect this of an adult in the same situation?

Because this approach is often completely different from how we were parented, it involves a lot of unlearning. Many of us were raised to comply, to obey authority without question, and to ignore our own internal signals. Parenting differently means repeatedly catching ourselves when old scripts pop up - and choosing a different response, again and again.

A child-led approach isn’t just good for neurodivergent children - it’s good for all children.

Children learn best when they feel safe, respected, and trusted. Autonomy, choice, and collaboration build intrinsic motivation, self-awareness, and emotional regulation. These aren’t 'special accommodations' - they’re foundations for healthy humans.

One of the biggest barriers to understanding this is how society views children.

Children are often not seen as full people with their own rights, boundaries, preferences, and bodily autonomy. Instead, they’re treated as people who should obey adults, comply with instructions, and tolerate discomfort simply because an adult has decided something is 'appropriate'.

What’s striking is how much more we expect of children than we do of adults.

We expect children to:

• Sit still for long periods
• Transition instantly with no warning
• Eat when they’re told, what they’re told
• Wear uncomfortable clothing
• Follow rules that don’t make sense to them
• Regulate emotions without the skills or support to do so
• Share their belongings without question

Yet we would consider many of these expectations unreasonable if applied to adults.

When you really stop and think about it, a lot of what we ask of children is unreasonable.

And here’s the thing: when children are given autonomy over themselves, they very rarely ask for outrageous things.

They don’t usually want chaos.
They want comfort, safety, predictability, and to be listened to.

Take listening to their bodies, for example.

A neurodivergent child might want to wear shorts in winter. Or refuse a coat. Or say they’re not hungry at a meal everyone else is eating. A low demand approach doesn’t mean ignoring safety - it means respecting autonomy within safety.

So you let them wear the shorts.
You bring the coat along.
You trust that if they’re cold, they’ll tell you.

Because learning to listen to your body only happens when your body is respected.

I have a child who will play on their outdoor swing in all weathers. If we stopped them, they would become dysregulated. They go out for as long as they feel able and if they get too cold they come in and we warm them up.

The same applies to food, rest, movement, and sensory needs. For many neurodivergent children, tuning into their internal signals is already harder - overriding them teaches disconnection, not resilience (I hate that word).

Low demand parenting isn’t about permissiveness.
It’s about relationship.
It’s about reducing unnecessary stress so children can thrive.
It’s about recognising that behaviour is communication, not defiance.
And it’s about remembering that children are people - not projects to control.

It asks more of parents, not less.
More thought.
More emotional regulation.
More flexibility.
More trust.

But what it gives children in return is priceless:
A sense of safety.
A sense of self.
And the knowledge that they are respected exactly as they are.

And honestly? That’s something every child deserves 💛

03/02/2026
Playing "schools" this morning at The Cocoon Therapy Space and in this entirely child-led game, all the dollies had acce...
31/01/2026

Playing "schools" this morning at The Cocoon Therapy Space and in this entirely child-led game, all the dollies had access to wobble cushions & visuals. 😍

22/01/2026

Really great to attend the SEND round table event tonight hosted by Mary Foy MP. Distressing to hear the experiences of a broken SEND system from so many (everyone) in the room, but also a privilege to meet some amazing parents, young people, educators, professionals and advocates for change. 🙂

15/01/2026
As an Occupational Therapist, my role goes beyond individual interventions—it includes being politically aware and advoc...
02/01/2026

As an Occupational Therapist, my role goes beyond individual interventions—it includes being politically aware and advocating for occupational rights and justice. For SEND families (my own included), barriers to meaningful participation are not just personal challenges; they are created and reinforced by systems that are inequitable and inaccessible. Supporting children and families means recognising how intersecting inequalities, language, culture, race, policies, funding, education, and health systems shape daily occupations and opportunities.
I guess I'll be one of those "inundating" my MP 🙄.

**SEND Reform: What the leaks reveal- about policy, culture and intent**

Over the past 48 hours, media outlets have carried what are explicitly described as “leaks” from Whitehall insiders regarding the Government’s intended direction on SEND reform.

Let us be clear.

These are not speculative briefings. They are purposeful, timed and sequenced disclosures, framed to test reaction and establish narrative ahead of the formal publication of the White Paper.

The language used matters… not only for what it proposes, but for what it reveals.

This is not exploratory. It is a controlled release of information from within Whitehall, attributed to officials close to the process. It also mirrors language already circulating in policy and operational settings, and it exposes an emerging lexicon of SEND reform: “mild autism”; “unreasonable expectations”; “thresholds and limits”; “discretion, not law”.

Leaks are not neutral.
They are signals.

What is being signalled here is statement of intent; that the comprehensive findings and recommendations SEND Inquiry will be quietly sidelined; that the much-trailed “listening” exercise was not, in practice, listening at all. And yes, that so-called reform will not seek to tackle the real issues driving systemic failure. And instead will seek to re-characterise statutory SEND protections as excessive, permissive or misused, in order to justify stripping legal rights from hundreds of thousands of highly vulnerable children.

⸝

**What this leak is really doing**

Read plainly, the leak performs several functions at once.

⚠️ First, it normalises the idea that statutory protections should be narrowed before Parliament has debated the principle. By presenting the direction of travel as settled, inevitable or already justified, it shifts the debate away from whether rights should be reduced and towards how that reduction should be managed.

⚠️ Second, it reframes challenge as illegitimate. Concerns grounded in evidence of harm, illegality and maladministration are recast as emotional, unreasonable or self-interested. This is a familiar manoeuvre: when delivery failure can no longer be denied, attention is redirected towards those who expose it.

Framing those who object to the erosion of children’s legal protections as hysterical or extreme is not a sign of confidence in reform.
It is the tell.

When a proposal cannot be defended on its merits without diminishing the credibility of those it affects, the problem is not the opposition.
It is the proposal.

⚠️ Third, it prepares the ground for the next stage; the counter-briefing.

We should shortly expect indignant and righteous “official” claims that the Department has, in-fact listened and engaged; that proposals, while not yet published, will reflect what families and professionals have said they want.

The sequencing matters. Narrative is established first; legitimacy is asserted afterwards.

This is not co-creation.
It is narrative conditioning.

⸝

**The narrative versus the reality**

Measure what Matters has been examining delivery, governance and statutory compliance across local government for over eighteen months. That work has focused not on abstract policy design, but on assessing how systems operate in practice- through experiential evidence; family testimonies, and professional input as well as externally verifiable, published data, complaints, tribunal outcomes. Together these present strong identifiable patterns of local authority performance and behaviour.

SEND has become the most exposed area of failure- not by chance, but because reform proposals have forced into view problems long embedded in weak delivery and impaired governance across local authorities.

The consistent finding has been that the SEND framework is not failing spontaneously. It is being systematically undermined at the point of delivery — through delay, obstruction, poor-quality decision-making and the erosion of accountability.

Statutory rights have mattered not because they are over-used, but because they have been among the few mechanisms capable of exposing that failure.

We could not be clearer. Removing those rights does not resolve the dysfunction.

It endorses and embeds it.

⸝

**Where responsibility now sits and why your MP has never mattered more**

It is important to be precise.

Whitehall may brief.
Officials may leak.
Ministers may frame.

But in the UK, only Parliament can decide whether statutory protections for children with SEND are narrowed, redefined or removed.

What is being proposed is not a technical adjustment. MPs are being asked to endorse a retreat from legal protection for children with SEND that is almost unprecedented in scope — particularly in an area where failure to deliver statutory duties is already the defining issue.

However — critically — there is one respect in which Whitehall appears to have fundamentally misread the room.

The confidence underpinning these briefings rests on an assumption that this moment will follow a familiar pattern: that enough MPs will ultimately acquiesce; that opposition can be managed through narrative framing; and that concerns about legality, harm and accountability can be absorbed by reassurance and appeals to fiscal inevitability.

That assumption about MPs is both revealing and extremely unflattering.

But it is also wrong.

What distinguishes this moment is not the volume of dissent, but the clarity of evidence.

MPs are no longer being asked to act on abstract warnings or contested claims. They are being presented with a growing, documented body of evidence showing systemic non-delivery of statutory duties, repeated findings of maladministration, and the devastating lived consequences for children and families.

In that context, attempts to reframe the problem as one of excessive entitlement rather than failed implementation are unlikely to land as intended.

In our view- they do not simplify the choice before Parliament; they sharpen it.

This is no longer a debate about whether the SEND system is under strain. It is a decision about whether the appropriate response to documented failure is to strengthen accountability- or to retreat from the only legal protections that make that failure visible.

That distinction will not be lost on MPs. And it is precisely why confidence that this will “pass quietly” looks dangerously misplaced.

So, in our view, that is the issue Parliament must now examine…. not whether SEND law has gone “too far”, but why this Government would be willing to pursue reform that locks in and normalises failure by removing the very rights that expose it.

Measure what Matters.

Sharing this for the many insightful, informed comments from parents and education staff who actually know what they are...
13/12/2025

Sharing this for the many insightful, informed comments from parents and education staff who actually know what they are talking about!

This is just brilliant! Pinching it for OT sessions at The Cocoon Therapy Space  😉.  Hope that's OK?! - GROVE - Online C...
07/12/2025

This is just brilliant! Pinching it for OT sessions at The Cocoon Therapy Space 😉. Hope that's OK?! - GROVE - Online Community for Autistic Young People 😁😁

Mr 6 invented a new game!

Player 1 secretly creates a shape with an agreed number of Lego bricks.

Player 2 with their eyes closed, first feels the shape and then tries to recreate it.

He is far better at it than me 🤣

05/11/2025
This is great news! I am ready and have availability from December 2025 to support children and families using the ASGSF...
21/10/2025

This is great news! I am ready and have availability from December 2025 to support children and families using the ASGSF. I can offer specialist, trauma-informed and neuro-affirming occupational therapy and sensory integration at The Cocoon Therapy Space in Durham. www.rachelsensoryot.co.uk or info@rachelsensoryot.co.uk 😀

Adoption Special Guardianship Support Fund (ASGSF) announcement.

We are pleased to hear that the ASGSF will be continuing next year (2026/27) and that applications can now be made for therapy that starts this year and continues into next year.

We hope that this announcement provides a measure of reassurance to our adopters. We will share more information once we have it.

You can read the statement at: https://questions-statements.parliament.uk/written-statements/detail/2025-09-04/hcws908

Address

The Cocoon Therapy Space
Durham
DH15JE

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