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Birth and Beyond

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Birth and Beyond

Counselling for Pregnancy and Parenthood, support for bonding and developing confidence.

Birth and Beyond is committed to helping mothers and fathers enjoy being parents as much as possible, and giving their baby the best start. This involves supporting parents in all aspects of the transition from pregnancy into early parenthood and beyond.

31/03/2026

The connection between a parent and child can be thought of as bit like a dance - you’re both playing your part. To and fro. Attuned to each other.

So what happens if you’re struggling to find your groove? If it feels awkward, or - even worse - that you just can’t find your footing with your baby? It can be really upsetting, for everyone.

I was so chuffed to meet the other week and hear more about her work supporting part-infant communication. She’s doing great things.

If you’re not sure what on earth I’m talking about, or if this kind of work might help you - check out my latest newsletter. Link in bio.

16/03/2026

The pressure to perform…

You might not have even really noticed it before becoming a mum. But you might now.

The anxiety about what people will think. The fear of judgement. The worry that people will think you’re failing/ doing a bad job. The worry that people will forget about you.

They might all be there. Or maybe just a few. And if you’ve always been able to perform to a high standard, it might be terrifying to find that you can’t with a baby (well not without working every moment you can/ damaging your relationship with your partner).

If this is you, I get it. It’s hard. And a shift that we don’t often think about when we look at motherhood (or else people just dismiss it).

I’m not going to come up with any trite solutions. These kind of things need some gentle thinking about. And if you’re in the grip of anxiety you might need someone else to help you figure out why it’s so scary to let go of the performance. Because it will be there for important reasons.

09/03/2026

I’m always wary about contributing to these pieces, because I’m not a parenting ‘expert’ and never will be. I’m a parenting learner, like everyone else.

So I’m not a great believer in parenting ‘tips’, I’m more into ‘wonderings’ myself. But I get that it’s often more reassuring to have a rule to follow, to give us a sense of control, rather than be stuck in the messiness of parenthood. Wouldn’t it just be so much easier if it worked like that?!

So I am delighted that when I was asked to contribute to this, I was allowed to think about a question I would ask myself, rather than what I would ‘do’. I’d love to say I always manage to think like this! But when I have managed it, it’s always given me something useful to chew over and learn from.

And of course, as parents, we’re always learning. No wonder it’s so fricking exhausting at times. Just when I think I might be able to relax a little, my kids test me with something I couldn’t possibly have thought of yet. It took a while to realise that was normal and didn’t mean I had got something wrong.

And I like some of the other wonderings too - especially about prioritising connection. And of course that’s going to look different all the time.

I get that might all be a bit frustrating and scary when you just want to KNOW how to ‘do’ parenthood. Been there. But also, it’s been one of the most expanding experiences of my life.

Anyway - if any of this resonates and it’s feeling impossible just now, my thoughts are utterly with you. It’s flipping hard. And awful at times. And you’re doing better than you think.

27/02/2026

Our own behaviour can confuse and upset us at times, especially when we can see how difficult it is for the people around us.

We might struggle to explain because we don’t really understand ourselves either. It doesn’t seem reasonable or rational.

But there might be a different way to understand it…

New post - check my bio.

22/02/2026

We know that who we surround ourselves with has a massive impact on who we become.

I hated running as a kid and sports were never part of my family dynamic, but I’ve ended up surrounded by people who see it as something that you might just do for fun.

That’s not entirely by accident.

Yet we can have an idea that all new mums are going to be the same, feel the same, experience motherhood the same way. We go to groups and wonder why we don’t ’fit in’ - and sometimes that can make us feel as though there’s something wrong with US. When maybe they’re not the folk you want to surround yourself with.

Maybe you feel too naughty, too sad, too happy, too reflective, too much?

It’s not always possible to find people around that are going to be your ‘tribe’ but it can help if you know that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

16/02/2026

My analyst is moving offices today, and I have been noticing all the feelings that come up for me around the change. The sense of loss, the anger that it wasn’t my choice, the curiosity about what this change might bring.

I’ve been surprised by what is has evoked, memories that I didn’t realise still had any emotion attached. A bit of a process!

And of course, becoming a parent involves SO many changes - changes to our sense of self, our bodies, our relationships with others - and we don’t always realise what those changes might bring up.

Change is destabilising, and having a sense of what helps us move through all those emotions can be really helpful - whether that’s having space to grieve, having people to listen, carrying something good from the old to help us through…

I’d love to hear your thoughts - what helps you get through change? Either comment or DM me, I’m all ears!

13/02/2026

‘Tell me what you need.’

Sounds good, doesn’t it. Kind, even.

But so unhelpful if you don’t actually know what you need.

How can you articulate something you don’t actually fully understand yourself?

You might try to put it in terms of actions or things (more help, a different kind of bottle/car seat/nappy) but it doesn’t feel as though it touches the sides.

If you’re struggling with this, my latest post is for you. Message me and I’ll send you the link.

02/02/2026

Are you good at sharing what you need?

Or does it feel like that might be dangerous in some way?

If you’re used to being able to meet your needs without needing anyone else, having a baby can really shake things up if you feel worried about sharing those needs with other people.

It might be an opportunity to change things…

26/01/2026

Showing up reliably.

The end of last week I had to put down my work because I was so unwell, and it got me thinking about some of our fears about not being ‘available enough’.

If you’re someone who worries you might be forgotten if you don’t constantly remind people you’re there/ perform for people, it can be so hard when you become a mum and you’re not able to show up the way you normally would. Or you might even push yourself to keep trying, rather than allowing yourself the space you need to adjust, because you worry that people will forget about you otherwise. Scared that people won’t still show up.

And we can have the same fear for our babies, that if we are not 100% completely available, they will feel devastated.

So it can be really difficult to manage the feelings that might come up if you need a break. Or if you can’t be there for some reason.

Because you might imagine that they feel as scared as you do. It might be hard to imagine that their experience might be different to yours.

And that fear might mean that you push yourself to be there, even when you need a break and someone else can provide good enough care for them. Which means you’re more likely to struggle, because it’s impossible to meet your needs when you can’t have a break. It’s an awful emotional predicament.

Whilst having a sense of our baby’s internal world is vital, if we’re projecting our own feelings on to them, it can leave us in some very difficult positions.

If you’ve got someone who can help you tease out your fears, and step back a little, that’s invaluable. They might be a friend, a family member, a health professional, a therapist - whoever has a good enough relationship with you and the ability to see how hard it is for you.

Because of course you’re terrified of your baby feeling like you do at times. It’s awful. So having someone who understands that you’re not being a martyr because it makes you feel good, but because you’re trying to escape these fears.

16/01/2026

Giving birth, like starting school, can raise all sorts of anxieties. There are so many unknowns, new experiences and people.

So what if we thought about our needs approaching birth the same way we think about the needs of kids starting school?

My thoughts are in my latest substack post - link at the top. 👆

Address

18 Pittville Street
Edinburgh
EH152BY

Opening Hours

Tuesday	9am - 9:30pm
Wednesday	9am - 4:30pm
Thursday	9am - 9:30pm
Friday	9am - 3:30pm

Website

http://www.birthandbeyond.com/

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Our Story

Many people think of postnatal depression, when they think of mums and mental health issues, but there are so many other forms of mental distress that parents can experience, and so even if you don’t think you have depression, it’s always worth trying to get support to feel better.

I have a background in psychological and social research, so when I experienced both Postnatal Depression and Anxiety after the birth of my first child, I became fascinated with why that had happened to me and what could be done to prevent it happen. I became a counsellor in order to support other women to recover quicker, and also to raise awareness about what can cause mental health issues in the first place.

I firmly believe that people are always operating to the best of their ability, so if there is something preventing you from being the mum that you want to be, it’s not through lack of trying, it’s because something has happened that stops you from being able to be different just yet. Counselling provides a way of exploring why that might be, and therefore helps you create more choices for yourself as you see things differently.