08/01/2022
I'm not going to lie, I've been quite on here because if I'm honest with myself, I've been struggling with motivation and life purpose of late.
I've been questioning if I'm on the right path, and if so, why do I seem to lack in inspiration to make my dream a reality? Self doubt has ruled my adult life. This morning, whilst having a wobble, I reached for my new book from .
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As I sat pondering the question I thought was causing me the current stress in my life (£), I opened the book to this page. I sat and stared at it, then as I conjured up the image of an 18yr old me, living on my own, working my arse off at college and part time in busy office, the tears started falling.
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At the time my dad was in the depths of alcoholism and living in a campervan, my mum had moved to France for a 'new life' and there I was, struggling to navigate life, boundaries and responsibilities. With no adult influences guiding me, or offering praise and encouragement, so began the cruelty of never feeling good enough and always striving for perfection, seeking approval.
I really needed this message this morning, because I told 18yr old Bonnie the things I never heard from others.
'You are clever.'
'You are motivated.'
'You are capable.'
'You are loved.'
I am a work in progress, still learning, still healing and still letting go. I feel like a weight has lifted, and I will continue to nurture that inner child, and remind her she is perfect, just as she is.
What would you tell your 18yr old self today?
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