Wishing You Well

15/04/2026

We all use defence mechanisms - not because we’re doing anything wrong, but because at some point in our lives, these patterns kept us safe. Think of them like old safety routines your mind learned long before you had the tools you have now - automatic responses that whisper, “This feels too much… let me protect you.”

Avoidance, suppression, distraction, people‑pleasing, perfectionism, humour, intellectualising, rationalisation, compartmentalisation - each one began as a doorway out of overwhelm; they were clever and necessary and they helped you survive.

But over time, the routines that once protected you can start to limit your freedom. They keep you circling the same emotional rooms, even when you’re ready for something different.

In counselling, we don’t rip these routines away. We slow down, notice them, honour what they once did for you, and gently ask: “Is this still the safest way for me to move through the world?”

Awareness creates choice and choice creates change. And change creates space for a life that isn’t built on protection, but on connection.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

12/04/2026

Sometimes we don’t choose what feels good - we choose what feels familiar. Even when the familiar is uncomfortable, limiting, or unfulfilling, it can feel safer simply because we know its shape. The unknown, even when it holds something gentler, can stir uncertainty in the body. So we return to old patterns, old roles, old ways of coping - not because they help us grow, but because they feel predictable.

This isn’t failure - it’s protection; a part of you is trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how. Change doesn’t happen in one brave moment. It happens slowly, in the quiet work of drawing new internal maps - in the small, steady moments where something inside you whispers: “you’re allowed to try something different now”.

If you’re in a season of shifting patterns, be gentle with yourself, you’re not stuck - you’re learning safety; you’re protecting yourself until you feel ready to choose something new.

This month I’ve written about the tender work of stepping beyond familiar discomfort - you can read it here: https://wishing-you-well.co.uk/home/f/choosing-familiar-discomfort-over-unfamiliar-possibility

A counsellor’s reflection on safety, self‑protection, and the slow work of drawing new internal maps

09/04/2026

Being highly sensitive isn’t about being fragile - it’s about being finely attuned. Your system takes in more, feels more, and processes more. You notice the subtleties others pass by, sense truth beneath tone, moving through the world with depth, care, and awareness.

Many HSPs grow up believing their sensitivity is “too much” - when in reality, it’s a form of intelligence; a way of perceiving life in high‑resolution. A way of holding integrity, empathy, and insight that quietly strengthens families, teams, and communities.

But sensitivity can feel heavy when it’s unsupported, when you’ve spent years absorbing more than your share, when you’ve been the one who notices, anticipates, and steadies the room and when you’ve carried emotional weight that was never meant to be yours.

Counselling offers a space where your depth isn’t overwhelming - it’s understood. A space where you don’t have to filter, soften, or shrink, and a space to explore your inner world without being told you’re “overthinking” or “too emotional”.

When sensitivity is met with support rather than shame, it becomes grounding rather than draining and a strength you can stand in, not something you have to hide. If you’re highly sensitive, your depth isn’t a problem to fix - it’s a gift to understand, honour, and work with.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

09/04/2026

For anyone who holds space, steadies the room, or prevents the cracks no one else sees - this piece speaks to the sacredness of the unseen and the quiet integrity that holds individuals, teams, families and communities together 💛

What if the work that makes you feel like a fraud…is actually the work holding everything together? Last week, I facilitated a conversation between two leaders on the edge of burning

30/03/2026

We’re so used to scanning for what’s wrong that we forget to notice what’s strong. Character strengths are the quiet, steady qualities that shape how you move through the world - often so naturally that you barely recognise them as strengths at all. They’re the things people thank you for that you brush off, the qualities you’ve carried since childhood, the parts of you that stayed intact, even through difficulty.

We tend to overlook our strengths because they feel effortless; we assume everyone thinks, feels, or behaves the way we do. We mistake our gifts for “just how I am”. But your strengths are not accidents - they’re patterns of resilience. They’re the ways you’ve learned to love, cope, connect, and contribute. Character strengths remind us that healing isn’t only about tending to wounds - it’s also about remembering what’s already working.

In counselling, we don’t just explore what hurts - we explore what’s strong. We look at the parts of you that have carried you, protected you, and shaped you. We help you use your strengths intentionally, rather than unconsciously or to the point of burnout... and we make space for you to see yourself with the same compassion you offer everyone else.

There is so much right with you - sometimes you just need a quieter space to see it.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

28/03/2026

The ego gets a bad reputation - as if it’s something to “get rid of” or “overcome”. But in reality, the ego is simply the part of you that learned how to survive. It’s the voice that says:
“Be careful.”
“Don’t get hurt.”
“Stay in control.”
“Protect yourself.”
“Do what you’ve always done.”

The ego isn’t the enemy - it’s a protector that formed in moments when you needed structure, safety, or certainty. It’s the identity you built to navigate the world, the roles you learned to play, the beliefs you formed about who you need to be, the strategies that once kept you safe - even if they no longer fit who you’re becoming.

The ego is not your true self... but it’s not your villain either. It’s simply the part of you that’s afraid of change. It might show up as defensiveness, perfectionism, people‑pleasing, needing to be right, fear of being seen, over‑explaining, withdrawing or controlling outcomes. These aren’t flaws - they’re protective patterns.

In counselling, we don’t try to “kill the ego” - we get curious about it. We explore the stories it carries, the fears it protects, and the moments it first stepped in. We help you differentiate between your protective self and your authentic self - so you can choose from awareness, not habit. And we create space for you to grow beyond old identities without abandoning the parts of you that once kept you safe.

Your ego isn’t wrong, it’s just outdated. And with support, you can learn to lead your life from a deeper, steadier place within you.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

23/03/2026

Overthinking isn’t a personality flaw - it’s a nervous system doing its best to protect you. Overthinking happens when the mind tries to solve an emotional or bodily sense of “unsafety” with logic. Your system senses uncertainty, and the mind steps in with analysis, replaying, predicting, scanning for danger.

It’s protection - not failure.

Overthinking is the mental “busywork” your brain creates when your body feels unsettled. It’s fast, looping, future‑focused, and often feels urgent. It might sound like “What if…?” or “Maybe I should have…”. It's an attempt to create safety.

Beneath the noise, there’s usually a quieter truth:
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“I’m bracing.”
“I don’t feel grounded.”
“I need support.”
When the body settles, the mind naturally softens. A slower exhale, a moment of presence.

Counselling doesn’t just teach you to “stop overthinking”, it helps you understand why your system goes into overdrive in the first place. It's a safe place to explore what your nervous system is trying to protect you from, how to create internal cues of safety and how to soothe the body so the mind doesn’t have to work so hard.

Overthinking is not a flaw - it’s a signal. And with the right support, it becomes something you can listen to - not something you have to fear.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

16/03/2026

Many of us move through life holding feelings we never quite had the space, safety, or language to express. These feelings become like unopened envelopes tucked quietly inside us - sealed for protection, stored away for later, and carried for far longer than we realise.

Sometimes the envelope holds love we never voiced. Sometimes it holds anger we learned to swallow. Sometimes it holds hurt, fear, loneliness, disappointment, or grief that felt too heavy or too vulnerable to name.

Even when we don’t open them, these emotions still shape us. They show up in the body as tension or tiredness, in our relationships as overthinking or withdrawal, and in our inner world as a quiet ache we can’t quite explain. Unexpressed feelings don’t disappear - they wait, whisper and ask to be acknowledged in their own time.

Counselling offers a gentle, grounded space to sit with these envelopes without pressure or fear. We don’t force them open, we simply meet them with curiosity, compassion, and a pace that honours your nervous system. And often, the moment a feeling is finally named - even softly - something inside begins to exhale.

You don’t have to carry these letters alone. Every feeling you’ve tucked away deserves to be met with understanding, not judgement.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

14/03/2026

Some people move through the world with a nervous system that listens more closely. They take in more - more detail, more emotion, more nuance - and they process it more deeply. This isn’t a flaw or fragility - it’s a temperament, a way of being wired. A sensitive system is simply a finely tuned one.

Many sensitive people describe feeling “different” long before they had language for it. They notice subtleties others miss, feel emotions intensely, and are deeply affected by their surroundings - for better and for worse. Sensitivity is not a diagnosis, not a disorder, and not something to fix - it’s a biological trait that shapes how you experience the world.

Counselling can offer a steady, attuned space for this depth. A place where your inner world is met with warmth rather than overwhelm, where your pace is honoured, and where your sensitivity is understood as something meaningful rather than “too much.” In a therapeutic relationship that feels safe and grounded, sensitive people often find room to breathe, to regulate, and to make sense of their experiences. It becomes a space to explore your patterns gently, strengthen boundaries, and learn how to live in a way that supports - rather than exhausts - your finely tuned nervous system.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

09/03/2026

Sensitive nervous systems respond more strongly to the world around them. Not because they’re fragile, but because they’re wired to take in more and feel more.

Research calls this differential susceptibility: the idea that sensitive people are more shaped by their environment than the average person. Harsh or chaotic surroundings can lead to overwhelm or depletion. Calm, supportive, or meaningful environments can lead to thriving more deeply than others.

This is the same science behind the orchid and dandelion metaphor; dandelions can grow almost anywhere. Orchids need the right conditions - but when those conditions are present, they flourish with extraordinary beauty. Sensitive people are the orchids: deeply responsive to both stress and support.

This is also where vantage sensitivity comes in. Sensitive people don’t just feel stress more - they also benefit more from positive experiences. Encouragement, therapy, creativity, rest, and nourishing relationships can have a profound impact on wellbeing.

Sensitivity isn’t vulnerability - it’s responsiveness. And in the right environment, responsiveness becomes strength.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

07/03/2026

Values act like an inner compass, shaping how we show up in the world and what we choose to move toward. They’re not rules or expectations, but qualities that help life feel aligned, meaningful, and true to who we are.

Counselling offers a gentle space to explore those values - what you’ve inherited, what you want to keep, and what no longer fits - so your choices begin to reflect the life you actually want to live.

Courage is one of those anchoring values. It’s the quiet strength of mind and spirit that helps you meet difficulty with steadiness rather than avoidance. Courage doesn’t ask you to be fearless; it asks you to take a meaningful step even while fear walks beside you. And sometimes the bravest step of all is choosing to begin counselling - showing up for yourself, even when it feels tender or uncertain.

See www.wishing-you-well.co.uk or https://www.bacp.co.uk/therapists/406729/sabrina-evans/ for more information.

02/03/2026

Letting go isn’t a single moment of bravery - it’s a slow, tender process. A loosening, a softening and a quiet decision to stop carrying what has grown too heavy.

We don’t let go all at once - we let go in layers, in pauses and in the small moments where something inside us whispers: you can release this now. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or that the past didn’t matter. It simply means you’re making space for what’s next - at your own pace, in your own time.

If you’re in a season of change, be gentle with yourself: You’re not behind, you’re not failing - you’re unfolding.

This month I’ve written about the slow, human work of letting go - you can read it here:

A counsellor’s reflection on change, release, and the quiet courage of softening