Serenity Central Hypnotherapy

11/11/2025

11/11/2025

This is the best explanation of what consent is that I’ve come across

Would you like a cup of tea?

A post about consent

You’ve probably come across the tea analogy when people talk about consent.

It’s simple, really:

If someone wants tea, make them a cup.

If they don’t, don’t.

If they said yes yesterday but don’t want tea today, that’s fine.

And if they’re asleep, unconscious, or not able to say yes, you absolutely don’t try to give them tea.

It’s such a clear way of explaining something that should be obvious — but too often isn’t.

When I talk with my boys about consent, I tell them that there’s nothing so fabulous as enthusiastic consent.

Because that’s what real consent looks like: joy, willingness, a clear and comfortable “yes.”

It’s never about convincing someone.

It’s never about wearing them down.

It’s never about assuming that last time’s yes still counts this time.

And what I particularly like about the tea analogy is that it helps us move beyond the idea that a person owes anyone a reason for saying no.

If someone doesn’t want tea, they don’t have to explain why.

They don’t need to justify it by saying they’ve already had a cup, or that they’re not thirsty, or that they just don’t feel like it.
“No” is an answer in itself.

That’s something I want my children to carry with them — that someone’s boundaries are never up for debate, and that kindness means accepting no without resentment or argument.

Because consent isn’t just about romance or intimacy; it’s about respect in every part of life.

It’s about not forcing affection, not pushing conversations, not touching someone when they have not said that that’s okay to do, not assuming that access to someone’s time, space, or body is ever automatic.

So yes — it’s about tea and it makes us giggle and gives us a pathway to have, for some, difficult conversations with the younger people in our lives.

But it’s absolutely teaching our children, and reminding ourselves, that respect means stopping when someone says stop — and sometimes not even asking the question if the answer might come from pressure rather than choice.

When we teach enthusiastic consent, we teach empathy.

We teach safety.

We teach love that listens.

Video in comments

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
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