EOS Counselling and Psychotherapy

25/12/2025

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24/12/2025

If someone is already in a relationship and telling you they’re unhappy, hear this:

If they were unhappy enough to leave, they would have.
They didn’t — so they chose an affair instead.

You’re not the future.
You’re the escape.

That isn’t love.
It’s avoidance.

19/12/2025

Your thoughts are not facts.
And they are not you.

One of the most powerful shifts you’ll ever make
is separating your identity from your mind.

That critical inner voice.
The spiralling.
The pull to self-sabotage when you’re tired, stressed, bored, or overwhelmed.
The habits that resurface when your nervous system is under pressure.

That isn’t truth.
It’s conditioning.
Old survival patterns trying to stay in control.

Create distance — and you regain authority.

When you observe instead of react,
automatic behaviour weakens.
Patterns become visible.
Choice becomes available.

This is how behaviour actually changes.
Not through willpower.
Not through shame.
Not through being harder on yourself.

But through awareness.
Self-regulation.
Identity-led decisions.

You don’t need to fight your thoughts.
You need to stop identifying with them.

This is mindset work.
This is emotional maturity.
This is discipline without self-punishment.

Name the voice.
Create space.
Choose differently.

09/12/2025

Mel Robbins wrote in the New York Times today, “Life is too short to fight with your family,” and if you distance yourself from your family, you'll probably regret it one day.

What this article has missed is that some people have had to walk away for their own safety and sanity.

Not every family is safe.
Not every home is healthy.
And sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is leave.

If you stepped away to protect your peace, we hope you know that is strength—not failure.
You’re allowed to choose a life that doesn’t hurt.
You’re allowed to build a family out of the people who actually show up with love and respect.

Life is too short…
Too short to stay where you aren’t safe, heard, or valued.
Here’s to choosing peace and creating the life you deserve.

09/12/2025

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSCBrYcjRtZ/?igsh=dXNtOGNvemgwNGtn

09/12/2025

So on my news feed I gets lots of post from people claiming success with : anxiety depression and more

I keep seeing posts popping up from unqualified, untrained, completely unregulated people calling themselves “therapists.”
And honestly? It really scares me.

Not for my job.
But for the people who are struggling, vulnerable, hurting — the ones who are desperately looking for support and end up being promised miracle fixes.

Because here’s the truth:

Anxiety isn’t something you “clear” in one session.
Depression isn’t something you “release” with a script or a tapping routine.
These are not quick-fix issues — they are complex neurobiological experiences involving the nervous system, fear circuits, trauma responses, attachment patterns and the brain’s survival wiring.

When someone without clinical training starts working with people’s trauma, emotions, or nervous system activation, they don’t just give unhelpful advice…
They can do real harm.

In regulated therapy we train for years.
We study trauma, neuroscience, attachment, risk.
We work under supervision.
We stay accountable to professional bodies.
Not because it looks good on paper —
but because people trust us with the most delicate and painful parts of their lives.

This work isn’t about confidence.
It’s about competence.
It’s about ethics, safety, and understanding how the brain responds to fear, anxiety, shame, grief and overload.

So yes — when I see untrained individuals calling themselves therapists and promising instant cures, it deeply concerns me.
Not because I’m threatened,
but because mental health deserves protection, not performance.

If you’re looking for support — please, please check someone’s qualifications, accreditation, and regulatory membership.

Your mind, your trauma, your healing deserve to be held by someone trained to keep you safe.

01/12/2025

The Two-Truth Theory in Relationships

One of the biggest shifts I see in couples therapy is when partners finally understand this:

In every conflict, two truths can exist at the same time.
Not facts — but emotional realities.

You can be genuinely trying your best…
…and your partner can still feel hurt.

You can stay quiet to avoid making things worse…
…and they can feel shut out and alone.

You can try to fix the problem…
…and they may simply want empathy, not solutions.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about impact.

When couples stop fighting to be “right” and start trying to be understood, everything changes.
The conflict softens.
Repair becomes possible.
Connection begins to rebuild — even after betrayal, disconnection, or long-term resentment.

Most couples don’t fall out of love.
They fall out of feeling seen, heard, and understood.

If this resonates, and your relationship feels stuck, overwhelmed, or at breaking point, you don’t have to do it alone.

At EOS Counselling & Psychotherapy, we have five specialist couples therapists who work with communication breakdown, high conflict, infidelity repair, trauma, and reconnection.

Message the page or visit our website to book a free initial consultation.

EOS Counselling & Psychotherapy in Farnham, Surrey offers personalized therapy for anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and trauma. Book a FREE consultation today.

20/11/2025

Living With a Partner Whose Anxiety Becomes Jealousy

Living with a partner whose anxiety shows up as jealousy places an enormous strain on you and on the relationship — far more than people realise.

It’s not just insecurity about exes.
It’s scrutiny of your family, your friendships, your past, your attention, even your children’s closeness with others.

Their fear shows up in a hundred small ways:
A five-second pause becomes rejection.
A relaxed moment becomes disinterest.
A busy day becomes “you’re pulling away.”

And slowly, you stop being yourself.
You walk on eggshells.
You monitor your tone, your eyes, your silences.
You shrink your world to protect their feelings.

And that is where the real strain begins.

Because love cannot breathe in a relationship where one partner is constantly managing the other’s fear — and the anxious partner suffers too.
Their panic, guilt, and shame keep them stuck in a loop they can’t escape on their own.

This pattern doesn’t fix itself.
It deepens.
It hardens.
And it slowly erodes connection on both sides.

This isn’t about blame — it’s about recognising what’s truly happening underneath:

An attachment system in overdrive.
A partner overwhelmed and under-resourced.
A relationship carrying more pressure than it was built for.

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✨ Why Professional Support Matters

You can love each other deeply and still need help.
Therapy gives you:

• structure instead of chaos
• boundaries instead of eggshells
• regulation tools instead of emotional spirals
• understanding instead of defensiveness
• and a way to rebuild safety without losing yourselves

If this dynamic feels familiar, seeking professional guidance isn’t a failure —
it’s the moment the relationship starts to breathe again.

19/11/2025

The Importance of Working With a Qualified, Registered Therapist

When you’re dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, attachment wounds, relationship breakdowns, or long-standing emotional patterns, the training of the person supporting you matters deeply.

A qualified, registered counsellor or psychotherapist has spent years learning the neurological, physiological, psychological, social, and psychodynamic foundations of human behaviour.
We are trained in trauma, the nervous system, attachment theory, relational dynamics, and clinical models that support safe, evidence-based change.
We are also regulated by professional bodies (BACP, UKCP, NCS, COSRT), hold insurance, receive ongoing supervision, and work within strict ethical frameworks.

There is a place for qualified coaches — and many do excellent work within their scope.
When I say qualified, I mean coaches who have:
• Completed recognised programmes such as ICF-accredited coaching, ILM Level 5 or 7, or EMCC coaching qualifications
• Undergone structured training, assessment, and supervision
• Learned coaching models and frameworks that guide ethical, safe practice
• And who do not claim to treat trauma or mental health disorders outside their remit

The difficulty arises when untrained individuals call themselves “therapists” or offer trauma work without the clinical understanding, safeguarding knowledge, or ethical regulation needed to support vulnerable people safely.

If you’re seeking help — always check qualifications, accreditation, insurance, and experience with the issues you’re facing.
Your wellbeing deserves regulated, evidence-based, ethical care — whether from a registered therapist or a properly trained coach working within their lane.

EOS Counselling & Psychotherapy is here to offer safe, accredited, professional support when you need it.

05/11/2025

Anxiety isn’t one single condition — it’s an umbrella for different internal alarm systems.
To understand yours, it helps to know what kind of anxiety you’re dealing with:

🔹 Situational anxiety – the kind we all experience before an exam, a meeting, or a difficult conversation. It usually passes once the stressor does.

🔹 Generalised anxiety – when the nervous system stays on high alert even when life is calm. It often reflects early experiences of unpredictability or a constant need to stay “ready.”

🔹 Social anxiety – rooted in fear of rejection or humiliation. It can develop when early attachment experiences made us question our worth or belonging.

🔹 Obsessive-Compulsive Anxiety (OCD) – intrusive thoughts trigger compulsive rituals that temporarily relieve distress. It’s the brain’s attempt to regain control when it once felt helpless or unsafe.

🔹 Trauma-based anxiety – when the body replays unresolved threat. Betrayal, loss, or emotional neglect can all activate this. It’s not “overreacting” — it’s a survival memory.

Even relationship dynamics like jealousy or distrust can reignite old anxieties:
the ache of feeling unseen, the fear of abandonment, the need to control what feels uncertain.
This is why anxiety work isn’t just about breathing or thinking positively — it’s about understanding the story your body is trying to tell.
At Eos we have accredited, trauma-informed therapist that will help you map those roots:
how past experiences shaped your stress responses, and how to retrain your nervous system toward safety and calm.

https://eoscounselling-psychotherapy.co.uk/

EOS Counselling & Psychotherapy in Farnham, Surrey offers personalized therapy for anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and trauma. Book a FREE consultation today.

03/11/2025

Some love stories end.
Others get rewritten.
Both take courage.

03/11/2025

We’re delighted to welcome Chris Faulkner to the EOS Counselling & Psychotherapy team.

Chris is a Psychodynamic and Psychoanalytic Therapist (BUPA Registered) working exclusively online with adults. His work focuses on the deeper relational patterns and unconscious processes that shape our lives, offering a reflective and compassionate space for exploration and change.

Chris has particular experience in:
• The long-term impact of trauma and childhood experience
• Bereavement, loss, and end-of-life work
• Relationship and attachment difficulties
• Anxiety, depression, and self-esteem
• The effects of bullying, domestic abuse, and coercive control

Online sessions are available now.
📩 To find out more or book a consultation, message us directly or visit: https://eoscounselling-psychotherapy.co.uk/